My five days off in a row just went to hell.
My colleague is apparently ill. So ill I get to work 5 12 hour shifts in a row. Woo-freaking-A-hoo.
I'm exhausted after 3 12's let alone 5.
I'm feeling quite hostile to the fact there's only two of us and one of us has some serious health issues. One of us (me) is going to have some serious stress related health issues if I keep covering someone's ass.
GRRRRRRRR.
I was really looking forward to five whole days off especially after covering for several days last month(the 72 hours of torture due to snow debacle) and covering several days this month.
McArmy goes back to Georgia on Tuesday. I don't know if he wanted to spend any time with me but now I really don't have the option.
I'm scheduled to work my regular Monday and Tuesday so no good byes there.
There's a sale at Life Uniform starting Thursday and I need smaller scrubs. Again. Down to medium pants and large tops. Grey's scrubs on sale and I need about four pairs. Life Uniform is at the mall closer to my house, far away from work. Not gonna get there until Saturday. Grrrrrrrrr.
I know I'm whining now. I'm cranky and ever-so-slightly hostile at the thought of five days of soul sapping in a row.
I hope each one of you have a better week than I'm having!!!!
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Conflicted
I know how much I wanted a job, as a nurse.
I know you all read my whiny posts during my long search for employment...
I dread going to work the next few days.
I dream about all the residents and the issues I deal with each day I work. Perhaps they aren't dreams, but nightmares. I don't know, I just know they make it difficult to get a restful night.
I guess I'm just tired.
Not ungrateful per se, just very tired.
Tired of "officially" working ten hour days that are really 14 hour days.
Tired of covering for certain people who aren't meeting the required minimum standards of care let alone what should be the standards of care.
Tired of going above and beyond my 30 hours a week physically, emotionally, and to the point of exhaustion.
Tired of knowing no one really cares about the extra effort.
Just so very tired right now.
I know you all read my whiny posts during my long search for employment...
I dread going to work the next few days.
I dream about all the residents and the issues I deal with each day I work. Perhaps they aren't dreams, but nightmares. I don't know, I just know they make it difficult to get a restful night.
I guess I'm just tired.
Not ungrateful per se, just very tired.
Tired of "officially" working ten hour days that are really 14 hour days.
Tired of covering for certain people who aren't meeting the required minimum standards of care let alone what should be the standards of care.
Tired of going above and beyond my 30 hours a week physically, emotionally, and to the point of exhaustion.
Tired of knowing no one really cares about the extra effort.
Just so very tired right now.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Christmas Points to the Cross
The title of the post is a phrase my pastor used last night at the Christmas Eve service. People who aren't believers might not get the reference. (That's cool, no judgement)
To my surprise I received a gift from my spouse (aided in his gift choice by McArmy) very similar to the above picture.
Awesome.
Very relevant to my personal faith and beliefs.
Sometimes, all things work according to God's purpose....
Friday, December 24, 2010
To Each And Every Soldier and their Families
Happy Holidays
and thanks.
Many Thanks.
May God bless each of you!
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Working in LTC Can Be Sad
The two residents who broke their hips last month, well, they aren't coming back.
Current statistics tell us elderly folks who break a hip die within 12 months 90% of the time.
Yeah.
My sweet, happy, political activist guy will be dead by the end of the week. He's now on a ventilator and basically gone. He was as independent as one can be with COPD and in a scooter. This man was a dreamer of the hippy variety (in the most positive sense of that phrase). He sent emails and attended local town hall meetings because he believed it was possible to make a difference. Rest in peace A. You made a difference in my life.
My wonderful and lovely woman who lost her husband two weeks before she fell and broke her hip will not be returning to our facility. She needs more care than we can provide. W made me feel welcome and competent long before anyone else. She always had a smile and sometimes a shockingly raunchy joke for me. She made me laugh. She helped me transition into a nurse. I feel in love with her in the first week I began this job. Thank you W for helping me. I regret I couldn't help you enough.
Ditch digging is much less heart breaking. Just saying.
Current statistics tell us elderly folks who break a hip die within 12 months 90% of the time.
Yeah.
My sweet, happy, political activist guy will be dead by the end of the week. He's now on a ventilator and basically gone. He was as independent as one can be with COPD and in a scooter. This man was a dreamer of the hippy variety (in the most positive sense of that phrase). He sent emails and attended local town hall meetings because he believed it was possible to make a difference. Rest in peace A. You made a difference in my life.
My wonderful and lovely woman who lost her husband two weeks before she fell and broke her hip will not be returning to our facility. She needs more care than we can provide. W made me feel welcome and competent long before anyone else. She always had a smile and sometimes a shockingly raunchy joke for me. She made me laugh. She helped me transition into a nurse. I feel in love with her in the first week I began this job. Thank you W for helping me. I regret I couldn't help you enough.
Ditch digging is much less heart breaking. Just saying.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
BOOYAH! (36 years later)
As I was driving home last night after my second 16 hour work day, I was chewing gum to keep me awake and my jaw loose.
I remembered my mother used to ALWAYS say to me: "You sound like a cow chewing her cud."
Well, I loved that phrase but never had a zinger response.
I thought of one last night 36 years late but still a good one.
"Mom, when have you ever 'heard' a cow chew her cud?" (My mother grew up in urban Toronto and we lived in the 'burbs.)
BOO-freaking-YAH!!
I remembered my mother used to ALWAYS say to me: "You sound like a cow chewing her cud."
Well, I loved that phrase but never had a zinger response.
I thought of one last night 36 years late but still a good one.
"Mom, when have you ever 'heard' a cow chew her cud?" (My mother grew up in urban Toronto and we lived in the 'burbs.)
BOO-freaking-YAH!!
Monday, December 20, 2010
Four
I called the paramedics four times today, three of these before 8:00 a.m. Yes, it was Monday.
What can I say but it was one crazy ass day.
I'm beginning to think I work in a psych facility.
I'm beginning to think I should become a ditch digger.
I am so very tired mentally, emotionally, and physically.
NO STRESS HERE! Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
What can I say but it was one crazy ass day.
I'm beginning to think I work in a psych facility.
I'm beginning to think I should become a ditch digger.
I am so very tired mentally, emotionally, and physically.
NO STRESS HERE! Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
I Know Just How He Feels
There's a Pupples in my lap.
A confused Pupples.
"Who is this person in camo ACU's? He doesn't smell like my favorite boy....hmmmmmmmmm, I'm so confuzzled.", thinks the dog.
I know what he means.
McArmy's a wee bit taller, a bit more muscle bound, and just kinda different.
Still a good looking kid, no doubt.
NOT my little boy anymore.
Looks like he needs to grow into his nose.
Reminds me of someone on my side of the family although I can't quite put my finger on who.
It's gonna be a very interesting two weeks.
Welcome home, McArmy, welcome home.
A confused Pupples.
"Who is this person in camo ACU's? He doesn't smell like my favorite boy....hmmmmmmmmm, I'm so confuzzled.", thinks the dog.
I know what he means.
McArmy's a wee bit taller, a bit more muscle bound, and just kinda different.
Still a good looking kid, no doubt.
NOT my little boy anymore.
Looks like he needs to grow into his nose.
Reminds me of someone on my side of the family although I can't quite put my finger on who.
It's gonna be a very interesting two weeks.
Welcome home, McArmy, welcome home.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Reality Check
McArmy flies in at 11 a.m. tomorrow.
After texting with him for the past 45 minutes, I can tell it's time for a reality check.
He's still a teenager.
He will not understand how I feel. About the whole Army thing. I just need to be cheerful, not clingy, not needy in any way.
It's HIS life. I need to remember this.
After texting with him for the past 45 minutes, I can tell it's time for a reality check.
He's still a teenager.
He will not understand how I feel. About the whole Army thing. I just need to be cheerful, not clingy, not needy in any way.
It's HIS life. I need to remember this.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Holiday Party
I attended the work holiday party this afternoon. It was kinda mandatory. Every employee from the regional manager to the kitchen aides were there.
It was held in the resident's dining room. Yeah. They went all out.
There was a baked potato bar along with potluck desserts.
It was something.
The high point was when I returned to my car and saw McArmy had called my cell phone! I immediately called him back.
He answered, "Hey."
I could hear shouting in the background. Evidently the main means of communication is by yelling. Gotta love basic.
The boy is ready to come home.
Yeehaw.
He told about several of his new friends.
He told me about one of his drill instructors who's special forces and is amazing.
I heard about how much McArmy was looking forward to sleeping in his own bed under our roof. (Grinning ear to ear)
And lots of other info I'm not at liberty to say.
Three more days. One day of work. Saturday when we're stocking the pantry full to the brim.
I'm so excited. Can ya tell?
It was held in the resident's dining room. Yeah. They went all out.
There was a baked potato bar along with potluck desserts.
It was something.
The high point was when I returned to my car and saw McArmy had called my cell phone! I immediately called him back.
He answered, "Hey."
I could hear shouting in the background. Evidently the main means of communication is by yelling. Gotta love basic.
The boy is ready to come home.
Yeehaw.
He told about several of his new friends.
He told me about one of his drill instructors who's special forces and is amazing.
I heard about how much McArmy was looking forward to sleeping in his own bed under our roof. (Grinning ear to ear)
And lots of other info I'm not at liberty to say.
Three more days. One day of work. Saturday when we're stocking the pantry full to the brim.
I'm so excited. Can ya tell?
McArmy's Wish List
This is the list McArmy wrote me.
Treats list:
~pecan pie
~Red Bull
~pumpkin pie
~double stuff oreos
~strawberry milk
~chocolate chip eggos
~Mike and Ikes
~Reese's peanut butter cups
~coca-cola
I'm thinking the boy is thirsty and needs tons o' sugar.
Where he says we need to go:
~Panera Bread for breakfast
~Baskin-Robbins for dessert
~Starbucks for hot chocolate and rice krispie bars(one of the things he and I would do in the weeks before he left)
~Krispy Kremes for breakfast/dessert
~Px at Fort Lewis
~Applebees(sp?)
Is it any wonder I adore this boy?
Treats list:
~pecan pie
~Red Bull
~pumpkin pie
~double stuff oreos
~strawberry milk
~chocolate chip eggos
~Mike and Ikes
~Reese's peanut butter cups
~coca-cola
I'm thinking the boy is thirsty and needs tons o' sugar.
Where he says we need to go:
~Panera Bread for breakfast
~Baskin-Robbins for dessert
~Starbucks for hot chocolate and rice krispie bars(one of the things he and I would do in the weeks before he left)
~Krispy Kremes for breakfast/dessert
~Px at Fort Lewis
~Applebees(sp?)
Is it any wonder I adore this boy?
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Blessed
I was feeling whiny this morning. Then several events occurred.
1) I received three letters from McArmy. One was a list of all the things he wants to do when he's home for 17 days. Another list was of the food he wanted for Christmas dinner. He added cornbread and stuffing to our traditional fare. His third list of all the things he'd need for snacking included pecan pie. Bwahahahaha. My son is turning into a Southern boy. This is what spending 6 weeks in Georgia has done to his appetite. Too funny. Too freaking funny.
2) The governor of the state of Washington held a press conference about the new budget. Everything we hold near and dear will be going through financial cuts and/or complete death. The Healthcare of Wa St for poor children is going to be executed. Gone. Education cuts are insane. Class sizes will increase hugely, teacher salaries are frozen, public healthcare workers will have less pay, and on forever. All this is a result of a certain referendum writer who's caused so much pain with his proposed and voted upon "tax cuts". His backers spend billions of dollars on election ads and the voters buy their crap. Now the poor, the young, the disabled, and the homeless will suffer and more will die. My financial situation looks great in comparison. My compassion for the disenfranchised causes my tears for them.
3) I was reading the Fort Benning web site about a 22 year old soldier who receives the Medal of Honor this week posthumously. He was a Ranger medic who selflessly saved others in Afghanistan this past June. He leaves behind a 22 year old bride. He leaves behind a mother my age. He died saving others. This is what my child wants to do. I am so blessed my son will be at home in 4 days. So very blessed.
1) I received three letters from McArmy. One was a list of all the things he wants to do when he's home for 17 days. Another list was of the food he wanted for Christmas dinner. He added cornbread and stuffing to our traditional fare. His third list of all the things he'd need for snacking included pecan pie. Bwahahahaha. My son is turning into a Southern boy. This is what spending 6 weeks in Georgia has done to his appetite. Too funny. Too freaking funny.
2) The governor of the state of Washington held a press conference about the new budget. Everything we hold near and dear will be going through financial cuts and/or complete death. The Healthcare of Wa St for poor children is going to be executed. Gone. Education cuts are insane. Class sizes will increase hugely, teacher salaries are frozen, public healthcare workers will have less pay, and on forever. All this is a result of a certain referendum writer who's caused so much pain with his proposed and voted upon "tax cuts". His backers spend billions of dollars on election ads and the voters buy their crap. Now the poor, the young, the disabled, and the homeless will suffer and more will die. My financial situation looks great in comparison. My compassion for the disenfranchised causes my tears for them.
3) I was reading the Fort Benning web site about a 22 year old soldier who receives the Medal of Honor this week posthumously. He was a Ranger medic who selflessly saved others in Afghanistan this past June. He leaves behind a 22 year old bride. He leaves behind a mother my age. He died saving others. This is what my child wants to do. I am so blessed my son will be at home in 4 days. So very blessed.
Monday, December 13, 2010
Swimming Diagonally
In the Pacific Ocean there are swirling, sucking, and dangerous riptides. I believe these also occur in the Atlantic Ocean but are called the undertow or as John Irving in The World According to Garp called it, "The Undertoad".
Riptides aka rip currents cause beaches to fly a black ball flag. This flag means: Stay the heck out of the water because your chances of drowning have increased a gazillion times.
Riptides pull swimmers underneath and way out into the deep water without them even being cognizant of what is happening. Here in the Northwest we lose many swimmers to drowning in a riptide every year.
Ocean lifeguards are taught to swim diagonally through the riptide to avoid getting sucked under and out.
I know enough at this point of my life to swim diagonally through the riptides of life. It's a proactive versus a reactive choice.
Even though I whine unceasingly, I swim diagonally pretty well.
I choose to survive and even thrive.
McHub is choosing to get sucked under.
Example: McHub leaves 90 minutes after I do to get to his job. He gets home at least two hours before I do.
Yet nothing is getting done.
The dog is not getting walked. The dishes pile up. He can't be bothered to find the one bulb on the Christmas tree that needs replacing. He's not doing any of the Christmas shopping. He doesn't even read McArmy's letters, let alone write to the boy. He's doing the passive/aggressive thing.
The p/a thing means he thinks if he ignores the basic family and home tasks Janice will do it.
The man has become a slug, in every sense of the word slug.
He's self-medicating with food and mindless zoning in front of the television.
Once again, I'm being forced into being the stronger spouse. The adult. The responsible one. The person who makes all the decisions small and large.
If my marriage was a teeter-totter, he'd be the mean kid who jumps off letting the other kid slam down rapidly to the ground. Not fun for the child with the very sore and jarred ass.
I have no idea how to approach this issue. How to shine the light on his behavior without threatening his ego and pride. No, he won't seek help from a professional because in his mind he's not doing anything wrong.
Nope. I don't have a clue what to do. (Hey, I'm a poet and didn't even know it! Silly smirk.)
Anyone?
Riptides aka rip currents cause beaches to fly a black ball flag. This flag means: Stay the heck out of the water because your chances of drowning have increased a gazillion times.
Riptides pull swimmers underneath and way out into the deep water without them even being cognizant of what is happening. Here in the Northwest we lose many swimmers to drowning in a riptide every year.
Ocean lifeguards are taught to swim diagonally through the riptide to avoid getting sucked under and out.
I know enough at this point of my life to swim diagonally through the riptides of life. It's a proactive versus a reactive choice.
Even though I whine unceasingly, I swim diagonally pretty well.
I choose to survive and even thrive.
McHub is choosing to get sucked under.
Example: McHub leaves 90 minutes after I do to get to his job. He gets home at least two hours before I do.
Yet nothing is getting done.
The dog is not getting walked. The dishes pile up. He can't be bothered to find the one bulb on the Christmas tree that needs replacing. He's not doing any of the Christmas shopping. He doesn't even read McArmy's letters, let alone write to the boy. He's doing the passive/aggressive thing.
The p/a thing means he thinks if he ignores the basic family and home tasks Janice will do it.
The man has become a slug, in every sense of the word slug.
He's self-medicating with food and mindless zoning in front of the television.
Once again, I'm being forced into being the stronger spouse. The adult. The responsible one. The person who makes all the decisions small and large.
If my marriage was a teeter-totter, he'd be the mean kid who jumps off letting the other kid slam down rapidly to the ground. Not fun for the child with the very sore and jarred ass.
I have no idea how to approach this issue. How to shine the light on his behavior without threatening his ego and pride. No, he won't seek help from a professional because in his mind he's not doing anything wrong.
Nope. I don't have a clue what to do. (Hey, I'm a poet and didn't even know it! Silly smirk.)
Anyone?
Moanday
Not really.
When this publishes I'll hopefully be sleeping and waking up before 5:30 a.m.. YAWN.
As tired as I feel a the moment, I would like to take a moment for gratitude.
Today I'm grateful for my son. McArmy. He brings me joy a thousand times a day. Thanks son.
Today I'm grateful I'm employed. It helps to keep me dry by providing money for the rent. It helps me pay the heating bill. I'm gaining experience even though I may not like the manner in which I'm gaining experience.
Today I'm grateful to be American. Being a female in America is a great thing. No one will stone me to death. I'm allowed an equal voice in elections. I can worship in whatever religion I choose. Land of the free and home of the brave.
Enjoy your Moanday!!!!
When this publishes I'll hopefully be sleeping and waking up before 5:30 a.m.. YAWN.
As tired as I feel a the moment, I would like to take a moment for gratitude.
Today I'm grateful for my son. McArmy. He brings me joy a thousand times a day. Thanks son.
Today I'm grateful I'm employed. It helps to keep me dry by providing money for the rent. It helps me pay the heating bill. I'm gaining experience even though I may not like the manner in which I'm gaining experience.
Today I'm grateful to be American. Being a female in America is a great thing. No one will stone me to death. I'm allowed an equal voice in elections. I can worship in whatever religion I choose. Land of the free and home of the brave.
Enjoy your Moanday!!!!
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Too Little Time
My spouse left me a message scribbled on a paper towel. It said, "You need to clean up your stuff off the kitchen counter and the bathroom counter."
It was quite fortunate he wasn't home when I found the note.
Today, 3 days after the note, he asked why I hadn't jumped to do as he commanded. Gee, maybe because I was shopping with my best friend from nursing school who I hadn't seen in 6 months all day Friday. Or perhaps because I was sick yesterday and slept until 3 p.m.. Last night I volunteered at my church's Candlelight Christmas dinner. Or I'm spending my time writing our son letters to keep his morale up. This morning I attended church. Oh wait I forgot, I spent Friday night decorating our home for Christmas, well I began to achieve that task. I still have 3 boxes and a tree to decorate.
If I were a mean woman I'd tell the creep to go fug himself. I am not a mean woman.
Some days I truly wish I was mean.
I spent over an hour this afternoon cleaning up those areas. Did I do it joyfully? Nope. I did it wishing I'd never married him.
The conundrum with that is if I has not married him I wouldn't have McArmy.
Spouse is really pushing it. Lucky for him my ax is buried somewhere in the garage.
I will redouble my prayers on his behalf because the only being who can show him the error of his ways is God. Only God can change him.
If you pray please pray for my self-restraint. Pray that I forgo bitterness and lets the idiocy roll right off my back.
Thanks, I appreciate it.
It was quite fortunate he wasn't home when I found the note.
Today, 3 days after the note, he asked why I hadn't jumped to do as he commanded. Gee, maybe because I was shopping with my best friend from nursing school who I hadn't seen in 6 months all day Friday. Or perhaps because I was sick yesterday and slept until 3 p.m.. Last night I volunteered at my church's Candlelight Christmas dinner. Or I'm spending my time writing our son letters to keep his morale up. This morning I attended church. Oh wait I forgot, I spent Friday night decorating our home for Christmas, well I began to achieve that task. I still have 3 boxes and a tree to decorate.
If I were a mean woman I'd tell the creep to go fug himself. I am not a mean woman.
Some days I truly wish I was mean.
I spent over an hour this afternoon cleaning up those areas. Did I do it joyfully? Nope. I did it wishing I'd never married him.
The conundrum with that is if I has not married him I wouldn't have McArmy.
Spouse is really pushing it. Lucky for him my ax is buried somewhere in the garage.
I will redouble my prayers on his behalf because the only being who can show him the error of his ways is God. Only God can change him.
If you pray please pray for my self-restraint. Pray that I forgo bitterness and lets the idiocy roll right off my back.
Thanks, I appreciate it.
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Stuff
Worked four days straight. Three 12's and 6 hours Thursday. My spouse is wondering why my hips hurt......duh for him.
At work I'm on my feet, I run up and down stairs 70 times day, if I do get to sit- I'm leaping up seconds later. Not to mention the job gets emotionally draining. Oh yeah, it's a we bit stressful here and there.
I'm 48 years old. I have NO idea why I'm sore.
The other nurse who works the days I don't has macular degeneration.....that's why I worked Wednesday and Thursday instead of my usual M, T, and Friday.
Because of her impaired eyesight, I'm also covering various tasks we usually share. I have to make sure all the bingo cards are in order with no repeats. I'm searching for expired bingo cards. I'm double checking any dc'ed meds are out of circulation. Otherwise med errors happen.
Hmmmmm, and she thinks she's my supervisor.
Spouse has the ball in his court. So far no counseling has happened.
He's tweaking me for buying airline tickets to go see McArmy graduate in March. He's lecturing me on money management. He's forgetting who makes twice as much money in this relationship.
I get scolded for buying clothes that actually fit me. Ahem. I am not the person who spent over $40 grand on a car that only gets driven on the weekends.
Not to brag but I look GOOD these days. I'm down 5 sizes now. I'm making well over 50% of the household income. I'm intelligent. I work hard. I'm funny, kind, and caring.
So I find the controlling behavior quite irksome.
I'm going to be brutally honest here~I don't need him to support me financially. I don't need him to be happy. I don't need him for companionship(the very idea causes me fit of laughter), I don't need him for emotional support.
My point: he's walking a fine line and he just might find himself all alone.
Some people don't appreciate what and who they have.
He's on notice.
I deserve better.
I continue to pray for a miracle but I'm not waiting around forever.
McArmy comes home in a week!
He's sent me quite a few letters and actually wants to spend time with me when he's home.
My priority~enjoy McArmy while he's home. Give him a wonderful Christmas.
I can see where's God has granted me grace in my life. So much grace.
This may be the last Christmas McArmy spends at home. He might be stationed elsewhere or be at war next year so I'm going all out. I'm not talking presents. I'm talking time and love.
McArmy is the joy in my life at this time. My pride, gratitude, love, and appreciation are plentiful.
Thank you Lord, thank you.
At work I'm on my feet, I run up and down stairs 70 times day, if I do get to sit- I'm leaping up seconds later. Not to mention the job gets emotionally draining. Oh yeah, it's a we bit stressful here and there.
I'm 48 years old. I have NO idea why I'm sore.
The other nurse who works the days I don't has macular degeneration.....that's why I worked Wednesday and Thursday instead of my usual M, T, and Friday.
Because of her impaired eyesight, I'm also covering various tasks we usually share. I have to make sure all the bingo cards are in order with no repeats. I'm searching for expired bingo cards. I'm double checking any dc'ed meds are out of circulation. Otherwise med errors happen.
Hmmmmm, and she thinks she's my supervisor.
Spouse has the ball in his court. So far no counseling has happened.
He's tweaking me for buying airline tickets to go see McArmy graduate in March. He's lecturing me on money management. He's forgetting who makes twice as much money in this relationship.
I get scolded for buying clothes that actually fit me. Ahem. I am not the person who spent over $40 grand on a car that only gets driven on the weekends.
Not to brag but I look GOOD these days. I'm down 5 sizes now. I'm making well over 50% of the household income. I'm intelligent. I work hard. I'm funny, kind, and caring.
So I find the controlling behavior quite irksome.
I'm going to be brutally honest here~I don't need him to support me financially. I don't need him to be happy. I don't need him for companionship(the very idea causes me fit of laughter), I don't need him for emotional support.
My point: he's walking a fine line and he just might find himself all alone.
Some people don't appreciate what and who they have.
He's on notice.
I deserve better.
I continue to pray for a miracle but I'm not waiting around forever.
McArmy comes home in a week!
He's sent me quite a few letters and actually wants to spend time with me when he's home.
My priority~enjoy McArmy while he's home. Give him a wonderful Christmas.
I can see where's God has granted me grace in my life. So much grace.
This may be the last Christmas McArmy spends at home. He might be stationed elsewhere or be at war next year so I'm going all out. I'm not talking presents. I'm talking time and love.
McArmy is the joy in my life at this time. My pride, gratitude, love, and appreciation are plentiful.
Thank you Lord, thank you.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Hanging In
I'm sitting in Borders during my break from work on my laptop. Kinda rocks.
Letter from McArmy tells of how much he's loving basic and how's he's already been a squadron leader~his squad beat the best time ever on some course! He's already into white level and is thriving. Praise God.
I'm working M, T, and W this week. This time I don't have to work Friday. Yeah. 3 12's is more than enough for me.
One of my residents was sent out yesterday. This resident told me she was pregnant from the monkey who raped her. I was also informed of the man outside the window who was holding the severed monkey's head....
Okaaaaaaaaaaaaay. Why did I ever think I wanted to be a psych nurse?
Things are going more smoothly overall at work. I'm beginning to get the hang of it. I've also got four residents out of facility which makes my days simpler.
We'll be going to computers in January! YES!!! Charting will be so much easier w/o the paper. Some folks are whining because they do not comprehend computers but I'm cheering. About time we left the stone age.
Time to back to the zoo (so to speak). Watch out for those wild and crazy monkeys!!!
Letter from McArmy tells of how much he's loving basic and how's he's already been a squadron leader~his squad beat the best time ever on some course! He's already into white level and is thriving. Praise God.
I'm working M, T, and W this week. This time I don't have to work Friday. Yeah. 3 12's is more than enough for me.
One of my residents was sent out yesterday. This resident told me she was pregnant from the monkey who raped her. I was also informed of the man outside the window who was holding the severed monkey's head....
Okaaaaaaaaaaaaay. Why did I ever think I wanted to be a psych nurse?
Things are going more smoothly overall at work. I'm beginning to get the hang of it. I've also got four residents out of facility which makes my days simpler.
We'll be going to computers in January! YES!!! Charting will be so much easier w/o the paper. Some folks are whining because they do not comprehend computers but I'm cheering. About time we left the stone age.
Time to back to the zoo (so to speak). Watch out for those wild and crazy monkeys!!!
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Still Waiting
I'm still waiting for a phone call from McArmy with his exact travel plans for Sunday, December 19.
I wish his drill instructors would let him have his cell phone back for 15 minutes today.
Sigh.
Yes, I understand he's extremely busy learning to to defend our freedom.
Still, I'm his mom and dang it! I want to know when he'll be home so I can spoil and pamper and enjoy him.
Sigh.
I wish his drill instructors would let him have his cell phone back for 15 minutes today.
Sigh.
Yes, I understand he's extremely busy learning to to defend our freedom.
Still, I'm his mom and dang it! I want to know when he'll be home so I can spoil and pamper and enjoy him.
Sigh.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Things That Make Me Happy
1. Three letters from McArmy. He loves the army. He loves his mom. He rocks my world.
2. I am now in a size 10 pair of jeans. Yeah baby.
3. Tonight there a gorgeous sunset consisting of purple, pink, red, and orange gilded clouds. I used to tell my boys their baby brother in heaven had painted us a picture whenever we saw a lovely sunset. That's how I felt today.
4. No one broke a hip this week! Phew! (Wiping imaginary sweat from my brow.)
2. I am now in a size 10 pair of jeans. Yeah baby.
3. Tonight there a gorgeous sunset consisting of purple, pink, red, and orange gilded clouds. I used to tell my boys their baby brother in heaven had painted us a picture whenever we saw a lovely sunset. That's how I felt today.
4. No one broke a hip this week! Phew! (Wiping imaginary sweat from my brow.)
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Much Harder Than Expected
HUGE HUGS
to all of you who are missing someone close this holiday season!!
I knew this was going to be difficult. I knew I'd miss him.
I had no idea.
Sucking it up and trying to keep active and busy.
Not watching the news. Walking the dog. Sending cards to soldiers all over the world, injured and healthy. It helps a wee bit knowing someone's child is receiving a card from this mother.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Rough Week
Please forgive the language in this video, my iPod version is rated "G"....ack, I had no idea.
I like to walk to this song. It sounds like a very mean song but I find it an anthem for our culture. I also think it's making fun of us all. I give the beat a 94, especially when I want to walk fast. Wink.
Between the long hours at work, my lack of sleep, the stress that occurs in every body's life, I'm having myself a wee pity party today. Just roll with me.
I like to walk to this song. It sounds like a very mean song but I find it an anthem for our culture. I also think it's making fun of us all. I give the beat a 94, especially when I want to walk fast. Wink.
Between the long hours at work, my lack of sleep, the stress that occurs in every body's life, I'm having myself a wee pity party today. Just roll with me.
Monday, November 29, 2010
It's Monday
I just absolutely adore Mondays when the higher ups were absent from Tuesday through today.
Yup.
The staff meetings always rock.
How many ways can I mess up?
Plenty.
The up side?
No one died.
Haha.
I have figured out who, outta my co-workers, are really snakes in the grass. Lesson learned.
We won't mention 15 hour days or the fact I'm still learning.
The paperwork may give me fits.
Aren't we in the digital age?
Someone tell my employers please.
All in all, not a bad day.
After last week, not a bad day at all.
I will continue to figure out the pitfalls and navigate those who are sweet to my face, then stab me in the back.
(For anyone not reading this with as sense of humor and sarcasm....you don't get me.)
Yup.
The staff meetings always rock.
How many ways can I mess up?
Plenty.
The up side?
No one died.
Haha.
I have figured out who, outta my co-workers, are really snakes in the grass. Lesson learned.
We won't mention 15 hour days or the fact I'm still learning.
The paperwork may give me fits.
Aren't we in the digital age?
Someone tell my employers please.
All in all, not a bad day.
After last week, not a bad day at all.
I will continue to figure out the pitfalls and navigate those who are sweet to my face, then stab me in the back.
(For anyone not reading this with as sense of humor and sarcasm....you don't get me.)
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Grey's Anatomy Scrubs
I'm continuing my weight loss.
Running up and the stairs at work 60 hundred times a day helps.
It was impossible to go walking this week so I walked faster while at work.
I parked farther away at the mall and the grocery store.
All my clothes from soup to nuts are much too big.
Darn, had to go shopping.
Yup, picked up several sets of Grey's Anatomy scrubs.
Yes, I love the show but not enough to buy clothes based on it. Except they carry fitted tops and petite bottoms. I have short legs. I also like the partial elastic waist with a tie for future weight loss.
I'll be stylin' this week at work. I'm not as pretty or as young as the actors on the tv show but I look GOODin these scrubs!
I plan on looking better soon.
Now if only I could find a McSteamy to work with.....
Running up and the stairs at work 60 hundred times a day helps.
It was impossible to go walking this week so I walked faster while at work.
I parked farther away at the mall and the grocery store.
All my clothes from soup to nuts are much too big.
Darn, had to go shopping.
Yup, picked up several sets of Grey's Anatomy scrubs.
Yes, I love the show but not enough to buy clothes based on it. Except they carry fitted tops and petite bottoms. I have short legs. I also like the partial elastic waist with a tie for future weight loss.
I'll be stylin' this week at work. I'm not as pretty or as young as the actors on the tv show but I look GOODin these scrubs!
I plan on looking better soon.
Now if only I could find a McSteamy to work with.....
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Not Watching The News
Korea.
Scary.
Knowing my son wants to a Ranger, I've decided I cannot watch certain parts of the news. Right now that includes the rapidly rising tensions between North Korea and the U.S./South Korea.
This is a complete change from Ms. News-Junkie/Communications degree.
When we first moved to NW Washington state from So. Cal, I bleated at my spouse that the 4 page Bellingham Herald would not do it for me! (This was in 1990, long before easy internet access or even good cable access.)
After all, I'd been devouring the LA Times and The Orange County Register before we moved.
I was afraid I'd go into withdrawal from the world and what was happening.
In early 1991 when Desert Storm was just finished raging, I gave birth to a beautiful blue eyed, blond haired baby boy.
I watched CNN as I nursed my newborn with tears in my eyes for the mothers of those soldiers.
Now that baby boy is becoming a soldier.
Wow.
My perspective has been tumbled and turned upside-down.
My prayers for our freedoms fighters and their families are fervent.
So off goes the news.
On goes my blind faith.
Scary.
Knowing my son wants to a Ranger, I've decided I cannot watch certain parts of the news. Right now that includes the rapidly rising tensions between North Korea and the U.S./South Korea.
This is a complete change from Ms. News-Junkie/Communications degree.
When we first moved to NW Washington state from So. Cal, I bleated at my spouse that the 4 page Bellingham Herald would not do it for me! (This was in 1990, long before easy internet access or even good cable access.)
After all, I'd been devouring the LA Times and The Orange County Register before we moved.
I was afraid I'd go into withdrawal from the world and what was happening.
In early 1991 when Desert Storm was just finished raging, I gave birth to a beautiful blue eyed, blond haired baby boy.
I watched CNN as I nursed my newborn with tears in my eyes for the mothers of those soldiers.
Now that baby boy is becoming a soldier.
Wow.
My perspective has been tumbled and turned upside-down.
My prayers for our freedoms fighters and their families are fervent.
So off goes the news.
On goes my blind faith.
"You Only Get Three"
That's what the paramedic team told me Friday night.
Yup.
Had to call them three separate times.
First one, a lovely elderly lady who tripped in the hallway outside her room. She may have hit her head~automatic must call.
Second one, an independent man who fell while transferring himself from scooter chair to computer chair and hit the floor with his left hip. Oh yea-ah. Another broken hip to add to my list in the past week and right in the middle of the lunch rush. Poor guy. He who never complains said his pain was 10 out of ten.
Third, a resident who, after being "off" mentally most of the afternoon, did not know my name, the caregiver's name, where she was, or what year it was. Off to the ER, transported by the paramedics who let me know THREE was all I got.
My response?
Okay.
"I'm going home in 30 minutes anyhow." (Followed by hysterical laughter within my head.)
What a week it has been.
What a freakin' week.
Yup.
Had to call them three separate times.
First one, a lovely elderly lady who tripped in the hallway outside her room. She may have hit her head~automatic must call.
Second one, an independent man who fell while transferring himself from scooter chair to computer chair and hit the floor with his left hip. Oh yea-ah. Another broken hip to add to my list in the past week and right in the middle of the lunch rush. Poor guy. He who never complains said his pain was 10 out of ten.
Third, a resident who, after being "off" mentally most of the afternoon, did not know my name, the caregiver's name, where she was, or what year it was. Off to the ER, transported by the paramedics who let me know THREE was all I got.
My response?
Okay.
"I'm going home in 30 minutes anyhow." (Followed by hysterical laughter within my head.)
What a week it has been.
What a freakin' week.
Friday, November 26, 2010
The Quandry
How could I raise one incredible son and one so oblivious to anyone but himself?
Being awoken at 1:30 a.m. when I have to get up at 5:30 a.m. really seriously irks me.
Especially since I have to work.
What the heck??
Being awoken at 1:30 a.m. when I have to get up at 5:30 a.m. really seriously irks me.
Especially since I have to work.
What the heck??
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Praises
Praises and shout outs~
After almost 72 hours at my work facility I got home safely at 21:30 last night. I drove very carefully and slowly with my window partly open to stay awake. I made it!!!! Yeehaw!
My peeps. Love you all!
My home.
My family.
McArmy. I adore that kid. He called today and is doing well. He'll be home 12-19 and I can't wait.
Hot water heaters are one the best inventions EVER!!! The hot bath I had last was one of the best experiences I've had this month.
Sweet Pupples who licked me all over when I got home last night.
My life.
I am grateful for everything today.
After almost 72 hours at my work facility I got home safely at 21:30 last night. I drove very carefully and slowly with my window partly open to stay awake. I made it!!!! Yeehaw!
My peeps. Love you all!
My home.
My family.
McArmy. I adore that kid. He called today and is doing well. He'll be home 12-19 and I can't wait.
Hot water heaters are one the best inventions EVER!!! The hot bath I had last was one of the best experiences I've had this month.
Sweet Pupples who licked me all over when I got home last night.
My life.
I am grateful for everything today.
My new mantra is:
It's ALL good.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Cold and Snow
As I drive 20 some miles to work the possibility of black ice and/or snow does not thrill me.
Great for skiers, bad for commuters.
I plan on bringing an extra set of sweats and another set of scrubs just in case.
I've co-opted McArmy's underarmor sweat shirt and I'll be sporting a jacket on top of that plus gloves. Layering is the key in this state.
I'm hoping for a day less than 15 hours.
I'm hoping for no snow/ice.
I'm praying for guidance and safety for all of us living here.
I wish you all warmer weather than here.
Great for skiers, bad for commuters.
I plan on bringing an extra set of sweats and another set of scrubs just in case.
I've co-opted McArmy's underarmor sweat shirt and I'll be sporting a jacket on top of that plus gloves. Layering is the key in this state.
I'm hoping for a day less than 15 hours.
I'm hoping for no snow/ice.
I'm praying for guidance and safety for all of us living here.
I wish you all warmer weather than here.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Feeling Old
I have a new computer.
A Macbook Pro.
Call me stupid but there are several things I've yet to master.
One~how does one left(whoops I mean right click) click a touch pad?
Two~how does one authorize a computer to their iTunes account?
I cannot find extremely simplified instructions to master these two issues.
I did not grow up with an Apple in every classroom. My technical advisor is in Georgia. He's at basic meaning I can't just call him to troubleshoot my new laptop.
My number 2 technical advisor was out at a party last night and is up in Seattle today.
The Apple express advisors do not work after 6p.m. at night so they were no help at 9p.m. lat night.
In pure frustration I turned the dang thing off and had a glass of white zinfandel.
Anyone know how to help a technically challenged woman?
A Macbook Pro.
Call me stupid but there are several things I've yet to master.
One~how does one left(whoops I mean right click) click a touch pad?
Two~how does one authorize a computer to their iTunes account?
I cannot find extremely simplified instructions to master these two issues.
I did not grow up with an Apple in every classroom. My technical advisor is in Georgia. He's at basic meaning I can't just call him to troubleshoot my new laptop.
My number 2 technical advisor was out at a party last night and is up in Seattle today.
The Apple express advisors do not work after 6p.m. at night so they were no help at 9p.m. lat night.
In pure frustration I turned the dang thing off and had a glass of white zinfandel.
Anyone know how to help a technically challenged woman?
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Let's Hear It For the Boy!
As I was scrambling around to get through my evening/dinner med pass, my cell phone buzzed. Usually I don't even have it out at work, but I had been using it to contact several doctor's offices while multitasking and my cell phone is quite portable.
It was McArmy.
Awesome.
He told me how much he's liking basic training.
He told me his drill sergeants are rocking his world, in the best possible way.
He explained his company (made up of potentials Rangers like himself) is motivated, willing to go the extra mile to complete their tasks, and he likes them.
Some parts of his first week were 'interesting' but he was learning a ton.
His legs are slightly sore from a 6 mile 'hike/run' but overall he was enjoying himself.
I do not know where this kid came from (because I certainly never made his run) but I am so grateful and happy he's liking it all.
He is incredible.
Oh yeah, he told me how much he loved me as well. (almost lost it at that point but I didn't)
HOOAH for McArmy!!!!
Thank you Lord for providing me with such a wonderful boy/man to have as my son!
Only a month until he comes home for Christmas.
Shout out to all our service men and women and for their families!!!
It was McArmy.
Awesome.
He told me how much he's liking basic training.
He told me his drill sergeants are rocking his world, in the best possible way.
He explained his company (made up of potentials Rangers like himself) is motivated, willing to go the extra mile to complete their tasks, and he likes them.
Some parts of his first week were 'interesting' but he was learning a ton.
His legs are slightly sore from a 6 mile 'hike/run' but overall he was enjoying himself.
I do not know where this kid came from (because I certainly never made his run) but I am so grateful and happy he's liking it all.
He is incredible.
Oh yeah, he told me how much he loved me as well. (almost lost it at that point but I didn't)
HOOAH for McArmy!!!!
Thank you Lord for providing me with such a wonderful boy/man to have as my son!
Only a month until he comes home for Christmas.
Shout out to all our service men and women and for their families!!!
HOOAH to you!
Thursday, November 18, 2010
I Was Thinking.............
(scary, I know)
.........that it might seem like I am not grateful for my job.
Overall, I am very grateful to be employed.
I know I am lucky to be working and getting paid for it.
I am grateful I have a roof over my head and warm showers every single day.
I appreciate that my children are healthy.
I have a car that runs, has heat, windshield wipers, is energy efficient, and is reliable.
I try quite hard to be thankful for what I have in the moment.
Good and bad.
Because it sure as heck beats being homeless, alone, starving, wet, cold, thirsty, and ill.
In my brain I know all this every minute of every day.
I don't even mind feedback in general.
I want to improve and learn.
I just don't want to feel like I'm drowning most of the time.
I would like to be able to convey my lack of judgment of others to others without seeming to be elitist, stuck up, or arrogant.
I would like to ask for help and to be perceived as a learning individual. Some one who's just trying to figure it all out.
A seeker, attempting to acquire skills without harming or offending anyone.
Does that even make sense?
I'm so confused, as always.
I wish all my readers a good and enjoyable weekend.
Peace out.
.........that it might seem like I am not grateful for my job.
Overall, I am very grateful to be employed.
I know I am lucky to be working and getting paid for it.
I am grateful I have a roof over my head and warm showers every single day.
I appreciate that my children are healthy.
I have a car that runs, has heat, windshield wipers, is energy efficient, and is reliable.
I try quite hard to be thankful for what I have in the moment.
Good and bad.
Because it sure as heck beats being homeless, alone, starving, wet, cold, thirsty, and ill.
In my brain I know all this every minute of every day.
I don't even mind feedback in general.
I want to improve and learn.
I just don't want to feel like I'm drowning most of the time.
I would like to be able to convey my lack of judgment of others to others without seeming to be elitist, stuck up, or arrogant.
I would like to ask for help and to be perceived as a learning individual. Some one who's just trying to figure it all out.
A seeker, attempting to acquire skills without harming or offending anyone.
Does that even make sense?
I'm so confused, as always.
I wish all my readers a good and enjoyable weekend.
Peace out.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Body Surfing
Back in the days when I lived a block away from the Pacific Ocean, I used to love body surfing.
Jumping up right before the wave hit me and then allowing the wave take me away. Floating on top of yet within the wave. It gave me a fabulous feeling of freedom. A lightness of being.
The warm sunshine, the warm, clear, salty water, the ripple-like sandy bottom of the ocean floor.
Magic and complete joy.
Peace.
At this point in my life, I'm body surfing the tumultuous waves of events in my life.
Yesterday I was slammed into the sand by a harsh wave of the realities of my job.
OUCH.
Wave after wave of "constructive criticism" crushed me, leaving me with a mouth, nose, and a face full of gritty, scratchy, painful sand. Ears clogged by water and gunk.
More waves consisting of flotsam and jetsam crashed over me.
From the north, south, east, and west of me, came the waves.
Unrelenting.
I cannot elaborate.
I will continue to surf.
I have no intentions of drowning or getting feasted upon by predators.
I refuse to sink beneath the surface to join certain factions.
My mouth will remain closed so the water and sand don't choke me.
Body surfing.
Not as much fun but still doable.
Sucking It Up
Janice will be peachy keen.
I am sucking it all up and attempting to be a mature and responsible adult.
Any and all hugs welcome.
Don't hurt yourself on my strong metal big girl panties! LOL.
I am sucking it all up and attempting to be a mature and responsible adult.
Any and all hugs welcome.
Don't hurt yourself on my strong metal big girl panties! LOL.
My day...
From waking up at 4 a.m. and not being able to go back to sleep. It began.
My day=TOTAL FAIL:.
'nuff said for now.
I did manage to drive home safely and I consider that a small victory. :o)
My day=TOTAL FAIL:.
'nuff said for now.
I did manage to drive home safely and I consider that a small victory. :o)
Monday, November 15, 2010
What's The Buzz?
Get this, the newest rumor at the facility where I work is....ta-da! I'm pregnant and expecting a baby in April.
Bwahahahahahahahahahah.
I guess I'm one of the gang when residents start inventing juicy rumors about me.
I laughed for 10 minutes straight.
How was your day?
Bwahahahahahahahahahah.
I guess I'm one of the gang when residents start inventing juicy rumors about me.
I laughed for 10 minutes straight.
How was your day?
Sunday, November 14, 2010
It's Illness Time
McArmy has a virus and goes down range (officially starts basic infantry 14 week course) tomorrow. No chicken soup and gatorade from Mom this time. Sigh.
I have a cold. Surprise, surprise, as all of my residents were sick in the past week or two.
I wash my hands and use the hand sanitizer religiously but hey, when folks cough in your face, what can you do? (I want to bleach 'em all, I tell ya!)
It's worse than teaching preschool. Being a nurse, I mean. Germs, germs everywhere!!!
I see many similarities to a preschool. Haha.
Nope, not going into detail.
Let's just say not all folks play fair.
Friday was a crazy day. Had a fall, a hypoglycemic episode, and dementia rearing it's ugly head all at the same time. Now add in paramedics, family members, and administrative staff all gone for day.
I'm really beginning to think on the fly.
I wish every single one of you a fantastic week!
Hugs.
I have a cold. Surprise, surprise, as all of my residents were sick in the past week or two.
I wash my hands and use the hand sanitizer religiously but hey, when folks cough in your face, what can you do? (I want to bleach 'em all, I tell ya!)
It's worse than teaching preschool. Being a nurse, I mean. Germs, germs everywhere!!!
I see many similarities to a preschool. Haha.
Nope, not going into detail.
Let's just say not all folks play fair.
Friday was a crazy day. Had a fall, a hypoglycemic episode, and dementia rearing it's ugly head all at the same time. Now add in paramedics, family members, and administrative staff all gone for day.
I'm really beginning to think on the fly.
I wish every single one of you a fantastic week!
Hugs.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Wolf Spiders
Slammed it into the wall with my Stress Management textbook. Yeah. That was wonderfully stress relieving.
These spiders love to get inside houses in Western Washington. They're looking for mates. FAIL for this spider.
He did however, leave me some extremely disgusting bites.
That was too much spider dude! Makes me GLAD I killed you..
How dare you find your way into my bed while I'm sound asleep and bite the freaking heck out of me?
These are not tiny little read marks. Oh no.
Large oval areas with a nasty center that take weeks to heal. Almost look like a target but ickier.
Sucker got me about 6 separate places over several weeks.
WHAM!
Bye bye spider dude, I hope you rot in hell.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Rememberance Day
Remind yourself that every soldier is somebody's baby!!!!
In honor, gratitude, and memory of all those who have sacrificed their lives so that we may live in freedom from oppression and evil...........
Thank you.
With all my heart~thank you.
In honor and gratitude for those who have served and are serving in the military now and forever~thank you for protecting me and mine.
In honor of McArmy, who begins the realities of basic training tomorrow to prepare himself to become a warrior. and defender of freedom.......
You are always in my heart. I love you and will always love you. Thank you for who you are!! I am proud beyond words.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Time to Give Thanks and Only Thanks
My most excellent blog buddy Suldog has a passion for Thanksgiving. His passion is so great he gets extremely cranky when Christmas decorations are in the stores before Halloween. Can't blame the guy, can ya?
I agree with with Sully. There's an entire blackout, in retail, of Thanksgiving.
Stupid profiteers just want to sell, sell, sell!
Let's face it, Thanksgiving Day is not the best advertisement for buying stuff. Any kind of stuff except maybe food for the actual Thanksgiving meal (besides my specific area where grocery stores may go on strike before Thanksgiving forcing folks to plan ahead!).
All stores except grocery stores and a few convenience stores are closed Thanksgiving Day.
SHOCKING you say?
Not at all, I say.
Take a day off of spending money peeps.
Spend the day appreciating what you already have!!!
I'm not going to get into the argument about the Pilgrims and the Native Americans in Plymouth, Mass.
Nope, not going there. (She says as she side steps any political issues.)
We all need to spend more time being thankful.
On the fourth Thursday in November, the United States decided to invent a holiday so that working folks could spending a day at home being grateful.
Let's honor that concept.
I know several of you LOVE to get all your Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa shopping done by the end of September. You'll that obsessively organized no matter what the retailers show on their shelves. (C'mon being that organized is slightly obsessive.)
Seriously,(have ya'll noticed seriously has replaced 'You gotta be kidding me!' in our culture?),do we really need all the freaking Christmas related items in stores before Thanksgiving day?
I will say loudly: NO WAY JOSE!
Four weeks before Christmas etc. is plenty if time to shop for decorations.
Who needs MORE holiday music?
NO ONE.
This is why I wear my iPod, so I don't have to hear another's selection of music.
Let's revel in the Turkey tradition!!
No red and green until Black Friday.
Boycott retailers who bombard the general public with early winter holiday products!! Do not buy from them, or wait until after Thanksgiving Day is over.
Embrace gratitude and rebuke the profit mongers!!!
Trying to Let It Go
I am cognizant that I have absolutely no control over any person's actions but my own.
The difficult part~completely accepting this and letting go.
I am trying to keep things in focus.
I'm gonna have bad days. At work. At home.
I'm gonna have better days. At work.
I'm making the effort to deal with one issue at a time. Not to worry about all the issues at once because change, in any form, takes time.
Certain things at work are better or I'm learning how to handle them.
Other things I just need to suck it up, keep my nose clean, and get the experience.
Working on getting into An ADN program ASAP. May take a year or so but I've started the process.
McArmy is in the army. That's a fact. It will take time to stop missing him so much. Working on that.
Other folks in the family are who they are. Working on that as well.
I will continue to walk though the rainy, windy, cold weather is making that more difficult. Time to find a gym and/or buy an elliptical. I need exercise. I enjoy exercise. Working on ironing out details.
Still trying to eat at healthily as possible. I did have a Coke Monday. Needed the caffeine and the high fructose corn syrup. Only because I was out of green tea. I have not eaten enough the past 2 days. I did not revert to crap, I just did not eat due to time constraints,exhaustion, lack of easily available food. Trying to pre-plan so I have enough protein shakes and healthy food options at home and to take to work.
All in all, my life is ever evolving and I'm working at everything as practically and calmly as possible.
Hugs.
The difficult part~completely accepting this and letting go.
I am trying to keep things in focus.
I'm gonna have bad days. At work. At home.
I'm gonna have better days. At work.
I'm making the effort to deal with one issue at a time. Not to worry about all the issues at once because change, in any form, takes time.
Certain things at work are better or I'm learning how to handle them.
Other things I just need to suck it up, keep my nose clean, and get the experience.
Working on getting into An ADN program ASAP. May take a year or so but I've started the process.
McArmy is in the army. That's a fact. It will take time to stop missing him so much. Working on that.
Other folks in the family are who they are. Working on that as well.
I will continue to walk though the rainy, windy, cold weather is making that more difficult. Time to find a gym and/or buy an elliptical. I need exercise. I enjoy exercise. Working on ironing out details.
Still trying to eat at healthily as possible. I did have a Coke Monday. Needed the caffeine and the high fructose corn syrup. Only because I was out of green tea. I have not eaten enough the past 2 days. I did not revert to crap, I just did not eat due to time constraints,exhaustion, lack of easily available food. Trying to pre-plan so I have enough protein shakes and healthy food options at home and to take to work.
All in all, my life is ever evolving and I'm working at everything as practically and calmly as possible.
Hugs.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Three in the Morning (again)
Sleep is elusive for various reasons.
I work the next several days.
Between McSelfish and his disregard for all other occupants of this house and McHub and his disrespect for me as a person........I am getting stressed out.
I may need to move out. Just to get enough sleep to be able to function at work.
This is an ongoing process and I reassess things hourly.
Those who pray for me, thank you.
I need divine intervention and grace right now, right here.
Not sure when I'll post again as I'm in survival mode.
Peace be with you all.
I work the next several days.
Between McSelfish and his disregard for all other occupants of this house and McHub and his disrespect for me as a person........I am getting stressed out.
I may need to move out. Just to get enough sleep to be able to function at work.
This is an ongoing process and I reassess things hourly.
Those who pray for me, thank you.
I need divine intervention and grace right now, right here.
Not sure when I'll post again as I'm in survival mode.
Peace be with you all.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Challenges
Here I am with a new attitude, a new acceptance, and the willingness to allow a certain someone a chance.
1). Certain someone sabotaged us and he did not go to counseling appointment. Whoops he says. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.
2). McArmy is in limbo until November 19th when his basic training actually begins. He cannot go to the PX, he cannot exercise, he cannot go anywhere, he has nothing to read, nada to do. Wow great use of our tax dollars.
3). I have to attend a dementia class on my 2 days off this week. Veterans Day has no bearing on this. I do not even know if I am getting paid to attend this class taught by the DNS. Fab-u-lous. Mandatory attendance. Required to have class by state.
I could go on and on but why bother.
It's going to be a very long month.
1). Certain someone sabotaged us and he did not go to counseling appointment. Whoops he says. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.
2). McArmy is in limbo until November 19th when his basic training actually begins. He cannot go to the PX, he cannot exercise, he cannot go anywhere, he has nothing to read, nada to do. Wow great use of our tax dollars.
3). I have to attend a dementia class on my 2 days off this week. Veterans Day has no bearing on this. I do not even know if I am getting paid to attend this class taught by the DNS. Fab-u-lous. Mandatory attendance. Required to have class by state.
I could go on and on but why bother.
It's going to be a very long month.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Perspective
Attitude is everything.
I used to hear that phrase from coaches, religious speakers, at PTA conferences.......I used to think, "Yeah. Sure. WhatEV!"
I begin to see the truth behind the statement.
Because of a conscious choice to change my perspective, I can find peace about my son in Basic Training.
I can accept and revel in my very long day at work yesterday.
I rejoice in new found friends.
I embrace some old friends I reconnected with this week.
Simply stated the world is a brighter place.
I used to hear that phrase from coaches, religious speakers, at PTA conferences.......I used to think, "Yeah. Sure. WhatEV!"
I begin to see the truth behind the statement.
Because of a conscious choice to change my perspective, I can find peace about my son in Basic Training.
I can accept and revel in my very long day at work yesterday.
I rejoice in new found friends.
I embrace some old friends I reconnected with this week.
Simply stated the world is a brighter place.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Blog Blast For Peace November 2010
Life has changed.
I still believe in world peace(to quote Gracie Hart in Miss Congeniality ).
Now I have a son who has committed four years of his life to protect our freedom here in America and peace for others all across the world.
My son has honor.
He has devotion to a free world.
He will die, if needed, for our freedom.
While I fervently want world peace, I now understand that peace and freedom come with costs.
Costs that must be paid.
While I agree with Mother Theresa, Ghandi, Martin Luther King, and other freedom and peace idealists, my son is now my PEACEKEEPER.
I am somewhat conflicted about the United States' role in world peace.
I am completely clear about my support for the United States military men, women, and families.
Let's keep the peace to the best of our abilities.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Test Results
Despite my low fat, no trans fat, no saturated fat, no red meat diet I still have high cholesterol.
Despite my walking every single day I still have high LDLs.
However, my trigylceride levels are most excellent.
My HDLs are good.
My genetics are apparently screwing me over with cholesterol. Darn them.
Back on a statin.
That's cool. The main goal to get healthy and remain healthy.
If that means taking 10 milligrams of simvastatin every evening I can handle it.
I will continue to exercise.
I will continue to eat my no high fructose corn syrup, low fat, low salt, tons of veggies, whole grains. and fruit diet.
I don't even miss the Coca-cola, the butter, white bread, or red meat.
I don't miss the fast food.
It's all good. That's my motto for today. It's all good.
Despite my walking every single day I still have high LDLs.
However, my trigylceride levels are most excellent.
My HDLs are good.
My genetics are apparently screwing me over with cholesterol. Darn them.
Back on a statin.
That's cool. The main goal to get healthy and remain healthy.
If that means taking 10 milligrams of simvastatin every evening I can handle it.
I will continue to exercise.
I will continue to eat my no high fructose corn syrup, low fat, low salt, tons of veggies, whole grains. and fruit diet.
I don't even miss the Coca-cola, the butter, white bread, or red meat.
I don't miss the fast food.
It's all good. That's my motto for today. It's all good.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
The Launch
He's done. All sworn in.
THRILLED he got the Option 40 aka Ranger School.
First 16 weeks of basic.
Graduation in March.
Airborne training. Jumping out of planes and helicopters.
RASP after that. It's a 10 week Ranger selection process. Snake eating, survival training, all that macho soldier stuff.
If he makes it through RASP he's off to Ranger school. That's to the best of my knowledge.
SOAR!
I wore his Go Army. Com shirt........................
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Not Safe Anywhere
An 18 year boy, class of 2010, from the same high school my kids attended, was shot to death last night. Around 2 a.m. Less than a mile from here. He turned to flee, outside of a supervised, no alcohol, no drugs
party, and was shot from behind.
He died there.
A good kid. An athlete, a scholar, a nice boy.
Shot to death after a verbal altercation that lasted only a few moments.
While I am mourning my son's growing up, someone else's son was killed much too close to home. For no reason.
My son may end up in war but he'll be trained to the nth degree. He'll have his brothers-in-arms surrounding him. If he dies, he'll be dying for a reason, a purpose. He'll have died to keep us free, to keep others from dying, honoring his country and all who live in America.
The boy who died less than 12 hours ago has a mother who must be in complete shock and denial right NOW! Oh my heavenly Father, hold that mother in your arms, rock her and comfort her in the coming minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and years to come.
My heart, which is oddly shaped because it's been mended many times over, bleeds for her. It bleeds for her son, his friends, our community.
Rest in Peace D, Rest in Peace.
May I repeat myself~~Soar McArmy, Soar!!!
party, and was shot from behind.
He died there.
A good kid. An athlete, a scholar, a nice boy.
Shot to death after a verbal altercation that lasted only a few moments.
While I am mourning my son's growing up, someone else's son was killed much too close to home. For no reason.
My son may end up in war but he'll be trained to the nth degree. He'll have his brothers-in-arms surrounding him. If he dies, he'll be dying for a reason, a purpose. He'll have died to keep us free, to keep others from dying, honoring his country and all who live in America.
The boy who died less than 12 hours ago has a mother who must be in complete shock and denial right NOW! Oh my heavenly Father, hold that mother in your arms, rock her and comfort her in the coming minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and years to come.
My heart, which is oddly shaped because it's been mended many times over, bleeds for her. It bleeds for her son, his friends, our community.
Rest in Peace D, Rest in Peace.
May I repeat myself~~Soar McArmy, Soar!!!
Sleepless
So many thoughts in my head.
I made the mistake of watching the documentary Brothers At War.
One brother tries to understand what two of his brothers are going though. Isaac graduated West Point and is a Ranger Captain. Joseph enlisted at 18 and is now a Ranger who's just made Sergeant.
Jacob aka Hollywood is the camera man.
It's a good movie.
It's also a wee bit close to home. I've been doing pretty well about not freaking out about McArmy. This movie pushed my freak out button.
Being a soldier is hard.
Another reason I'm having trouble shutting my brain off is while McHub and I communicated, I still foresee a very long road ahead. In his thinking, his actions were justified by the way I dealt with Brennan's death. It's a cop out. It's a refusal to take responsibility for his actions.
I could be wrong, but I feel he blames his actions on me. It's called projection. Ask Freud.
I'm conflicted. I have not been the perfect wife but I refuse to take the blame for his decisions, his betrayals, his dishonesty.
He isn't the enemy but neither is he the friend.
I don't know what to think. How much hope to have. How long do I keep trying?
I feel pretty darn alone right now.
I made the mistake of watching the documentary Brothers At War.
One brother tries to understand what two of his brothers are going though. Isaac graduated West Point and is a Ranger Captain. Joseph enlisted at 18 and is now a Ranger who's just made Sergeant.
Jacob aka Hollywood is the camera man.
It's a good movie.
It's also a wee bit close to home. I've been doing pretty well about not freaking out about McArmy. This movie pushed my freak out button.
Being a soldier is hard.
Another reason I'm having trouble shutting my brain off is while McHub and I communicated, I still foresee a very long road ahead. In his thinking, his actions were justified by the way I dealt with Brennan's death. It's a cop out. It's a refusal to take responsibility for his actions.
I could be wrong, but I feel he blames his actions on me. It's called projection. Ask Freud.
I'm conflicted. I have not been the perfect wife but I refuse to take the blame for his decisions, his betrayals, his dishonesty.
He isn't the enemy but neither is he the friend.
I don't know what to think. How much hope to have. How long do I keep trying?
I feel pretty darn alone right now.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
The Ripple Effect
That guy in the shadows is McHub.
Something amazing happened the other night.
We communicated, face-to-face, calmly and completely honestly.
Wow.
It's a start. A good start.
Our issues go back many years. I can pinpoint the beginning of us both shutting down: When Brennan died. The ramifications of that loss on both of us almost destroyed us. On every level.
But not back in 1996. Nope.
It's called the ripple effect.
Losing a child impacts everyone within that family and their circle of friends.
It's kind of funny, just when you think you've dealt with all there is to deal with, up pops more ripples you never saw coming.
Losing a child damages you.
Losing a child changes you forever. It turns your beliefs about yourself, your faith, your future completely upside down.
I know my boys were affected by the overwhelming grief that threatened to swamp me. The resulting depression.
McHub was affected by my withdrawal from, well, from most everything.
I'm not saying I'm to blame for every issue we have.
I'm saying there are no enemies here.
Just human beings attempting to cope.
I still believe in hope.
I still believe in change.
I still believe in trying to "fix" the issues and moving forward.
This is my epistle for today.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
To Be Perfectly Clear...
I have always been proud of this boy.
I will always be proud of him.
He had a good heart, a smart brain, a value system that's amazing.
McArmy is good looking.
He has honor and a true love of his country.
So while I cannot comprehend his desire to enlist, I can be awed by his commitment.
This man is a team player.
He respects others.
He drives too fast. OK he's not perfect.
He will be an incredible soldier.
Yes, I'm worried. Yes, I know he'll come home a changed, grown up man.
He holds my heart in his hands forever.
(I write man but think boy. He'll always and forever be my little boy.)
McArmy
Just like every one of you. We all have stuff.
The biggest issue right now is my baby boy, nineteen years old, who's leaving Monday night for the hotel, swears into the U.S. Army Tuesday, goes back to hotel, flies commercial to Georgia Wednesday morning.
Yes I know kids grow up.
I know he's a fabulous kid.
I know he's going to shine through at basic.
He's thrilled one of the big wigs may get him option 40, Ranger school.
I have no doubt he'll excel wherever he's placed.
I'm going to miss him something awful. I keep bursting into tears at the oddest moments.
Stoopid. Yet, I'm his mommy so this all scares and worries me.
I'm a weenie, this I'm sure of.
He'll be back for a week at Christmas.
Then I don't think he'll ever come home to here again.
He'll have left the nest.
Soar McArmy boy, SOAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Let's Talk
Being humiliated in front of twenty patients is NOT the best way to learn. Nor is it professional of the DNS to yell across the hallway and say something is totally inappropriate.
How difficult is it to take me aside and let me know?
I am doing things the way I was taught. So imagine my annoyance and the humiliation I felt as I was scolded in front of many patients from across a hallway. It took all my self-control not to get up, grab my keys, and drive my car home.
Even more wonderful was the new policy(A-hem) of practicing HIPPA by closing the med room doors when a patients was receiving any type of treatment. Why wasn't this the original policy? Got me. I'm all for privacy. I do not appreciate having to be the one to explain to each and every patient why I need to close the door. They were not happy at all.
That was the low light of my 3 days at work.
The high light? Helping a lovely 88 year old female to bed. Taking the time to make sure she was safe and comfortable. Taking the time to receive the hug she gave me. Almost worth the hell that was Monday.
How difficult is it to take me aside and let me know?
I am doing things the way I was taught. So imagine my annoyance and the humiliation I felt as I was scolded in front of many patients from across a hallway. It took all my self-control not to get up, grab my keys, and drive my car home.
Even more wonderful was the new policy(A-hem) of practicing HIPPA by closing the med room doors when a patients was receiving any type of treatment. Why wasn't this the original policy? Got me. I'm all for privacy. I do not appreciate having to be the one to explain to each and every patient why I need to close the door. They were not happy at all.
That was the low light of my 3 days at work.
The high light? Helping a lovely 88 year old female to bed. Taking the time to make sure she was safe and comfortable. Taking the time to receive the hug she gave me. Almost worth the hell that was Monday.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Drenched
The last three days have bee,n oh how can I put this............CWAZZZEEEEEEE!
Librarian. Sounds like a nice, stress free career.
There has been exhaustion, humiliation(public no less), tiny flickers of humor, a genuinely sweet experience with a wonderfully kind resident, 3 miles walks in pouring rain, pill seekers, psychotic somatform disorderlies, verbal abuse(directed at me), and all the usual debris that comes with LTC.
I survived. Thrived, here and there.
Librarian. Sounds like a nice, stress free career.
There has been exhaustion, humiliation(public no less), tiny flickers of humor, a genuinely sweet experience with a wonderfully kind resident, 3 miles walks in pouring rain, pill seekers, psychotic somatform disorderlies, verbal abuse(directed at me), and all the usual debris that comes with LTC.
I survived. Thrived, here and there.
All I can really say: Thank you Lord that I have two entire days off!!!!
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Grey Areas
When I was younger life was black and white. I had a set of morals and ethics and they were pretty much set in stone.
I'm decades older now. I still have a fairly strict code of ethics and morals. People in my family have much looser interpretations. As I've stated before I am Christian. I stick to a code of behavior that was set down by Jesus. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
I'm not perfect. I'm not the best wife, mother, or even the best example.
However, certain things are sacred to me.
Fidelity, my concept of it, is sacred.
This has been breached.
I've talked to my spiritual adviser. I've set up some parameters. The parameters Paul set forth in Galatians chapter 5. Paul and other writers of the New Testament have set many guidelines for marriage. I believe these guidelines are the way marriage should work.
I have no idea what will happen in this relationship of over twenty four years.
I do know I will be fine. No matter what, I will be fine.
I'm picking up an extra work day tomorrow so I'll likely not be around until Tuesday night or later.
Thanks for all the prayers and support.
God WILL see me through.
I'm decades older now. I still have a fairly strict code of ethics and morals. People in my family have much looser interpretations. As I've stated before I am Christian. I stick to a code of behavior that was set down by Jesus. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
I'm not perfect. I'm not the best wife, mother, or even the best example.
However, certain things are sacred to me.
Fidelity, my concept of it, is sacred.
This has been breached.
I've talked to my spiritual adviser. I've set up some parameters. The parameters Paul set forth in Galatians chapter 5. Paul and other writers of the New Testament have set many guidelines for marriage. I believe these guidelines are the way marriage should work.
I have no idea what will happen in this relationship of over twenty four years.
I do know I will be fine. No matter what, I will be fine.
I'm picking up an extra work day tomorrow so I'll likely not be around until Tuesday night or later.
Thanks for all the prayers and support.
God WILL see me through.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Alrighty
Peeved is such a nice word for what I feel right now.
I have A LOT going on at the moment.
My 19 year old is leaving for basic in 12 days. 'Family support agency' emailed me all about C. Ok~~ 'Family support agency'~ my son's name IS NOT C. It's R. Get it right please. I'm not thrilled to have a son going into the military during war but I support and love my child. If anything happens to him, I sure hope you know his name.
I am trying to pay off all debt. Yes it's slow. Yes it's a little at a time. A collection agency just called and threatened me. WTF? I made a payment of $$ 2 weeks ago. I was told that amount would keep me out of collections. I really dislike being lied to. Seriously.
I have other issues going on here at home.
I need to say this: GET OFF MY BACK YOU BASTARDS!!!!
Negative critical comments will not be published any longer. I don't need it or you. Fake concern cloaked in criticism is really unkind. Go be mean to some one else.
I love my readers. I do not mind comments or questions that provoke discussion.
If you want to flame me~write it on your own blog.
I'm going for a very long walk now.
I sincerely pray all the mean people on earth find elsewhere to hang out.
I have A LOT going on at the moment.
My 19 year old is leaving for basic in 12 days. 'Family support agency' emailed me all about C. Ok~~ 'Family support agency'~ my son's name IS NOT C. It's R. Get it right please. I'm not thrilled to have a son going into the military during war but I support and love my child. If anything happens to him, I sure hope you know his name.
I am trying to pay off all debt. Yes it's slow. Yes it's a little at a time. A collection agency just called and threatened me. WTF? I made a payment of $$ 2 weeks ago. I was told that amount would keep me out of collections. I really dislike being lied to. Seriously.
I have other issues going on here at home.
I need to say this: GET OFF MY BACK YOU BASTARDS!!!!
Negative critical comments will not be published any longer. I don't need it or you. Fake concern cloaked in criticism is really unkind. Go be mean to some one else.
I love my readers. I do not mind comments or questions that provoke discussion.
If you want to flame me~write it on your own blog.
I'm going for a very long walk now.
I sincerely pray all the mean people on earth find elsewhere to hang out.
Taking Charge
Enough is frankly, enough.
I'm taking over. I've made several phone calls regarding past due bills setting up payment arrangements. The person who was supposed to be on top this is not. Fine. I'm doing it now. I'm making more money and I'm tired of calls from bill collectors.
I will get us as far out of the hole as possible MY way.
I am not relying on anyone else to sweat the details.
I'm tired of being let down. Tired of things left undone. Tired of watching a certain someone hide his head in the sand.
I have decided to be the adult.
That's how I roll these days.
Empowerment.
It's the only way to go.
I can only trust myself and God.
This isn't a whine or complaining. I'm just stating the plain hard cold facts.
Janice is now in charge.
I'm taking over. I've made several phone calls regarding past due bills setting up payment arrangements. The person who was supposed to be on top this is not. Fine. I'm doing it now. I'm making more money and I'm tired of calls from bill collectors.
I will get us as far out of the hole as possible MY way.
I am not relying on anyone else to sweat the details.
I'm tired of being let down. Tired of things left undone. Tired of watching a certain someone hide his head in the sand.
I have decided to be the adult.
That's how I roll these days.
Empowerment.
It's the only way to go.
I can only trust myself and God.
This isn't a whine or complaining. I'm just stating the plain hard cold facts.
Janice is now in charge.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
I Be Rockin' the Walking
I have walked 3 miles every day since last Thursday.
BOOYAH!
Even my new jeans are getting loose.
I begin to understand the allure of exercise like running marathons. Well that's a lie, but I have an inkling.
Physically I am feeling good.
Yesterday I had tasks to complete so I spent one hour of my two hour break finishing paperwork etc. I only had time to walk 3 times around the lake instead of four. I was disappointed.
Yeah, me of all people.
It's been wonderful October weather. Cool and crisp in the mornings and warm in the afternoons. Sunshine galore. Awesome. Reminds me of October weather in Michigan. I'm delighted hot muggy season is over!!!!!!!
I cannot believe how many years I sat on my ass.
Never again.
BOOYAH!
Even my new jeans are getting loose.
I begin to understand the allure of exercise like running marathons. Well that's a lie, but I have an inkling.
Physically I am feeling good.
Yesterday I had tasks to complete so I spent one hour of my two hour break finishing paperwork etc. I only had time to walk 3 times around the lake instead of four. I was disappointed.
Yeah, me of all people.
It's been wonderful October weather. Cool and crisp in the mornings and warm in the afternoons. Sunshine galore. Awesome. Reminds me of October weather in Michigan. I'm delighted hot muggy season is over!!!!!!!
I cannot believe how many years I sat on my ass.
Never again.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Vengeance
"Vengeance is mine!" sayeth the Lord.
That sucks. Cuz I'd love me some vengeance right now. Some unwise yet satisfying payback.
I can always fantasize.
To act out in anger and pain is never a good idea.
Yet, it's quite fun to think about.
I will bide my time and be sensible.
One should always remember that every action has an equal reaction. Or immoral actions have nasty consequences.
Payback's a bitch.
That sucks. Cuz I'd love me some vengeance right now. Some unwise yet satisfying payback.
I can always fantasize.
To act out in anger and pain is never a good idea.
Yet, it's quite fun to think about.
I will bide my time and be sensible.
One should always remember that every action has an equal reaction. Or immoral actions have nasty consequences.
Payback's a bitch.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Question for My Readers
Have any of you ever thought of joining the Peace Corps?
I'm considering it.
What are your thoughts?
I'm considering it.
What are your thoughts?
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Friday, October 15, 2010
Another Day.......Another Dollar
One of my soul sucking resident-patients told the RN, who works the days I'm off, that I said:
"I'm only here for the money."
About an hour later, after my fits of laughter abated, I began to get annoyed. The RN actually believed I had said such a stupid thing.
That's the kind of manipulative, junior high behavior I get to deal with.
Happy Friday All!!!
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Complete Frustration
Half my life.
I have spent half of my life married to the same man.
Twenty four of my 48 years.
Right now he's driving me more crazy than usual.
He freaking e-mailed me about an issue.
The usual issue. The money issue.
I make twice as much as he does.
I'm working my ass off. In a job I'm not particularly having fun doing.
That's cool.
I went to school to become a nurse and I have a job.
He worked while I raised kids for most of our marriage plus the college years(mine).
I have never nagged him when he's spent 5 periods of time unemployed. I supported him emotionally to the fullest extent I could. I did not walk out. I did not push him. I did not fling recriminations around like I wanted to do several hundred times.
To send me an e-mail about my spending is too freakin' much.
It's not as if I'm flinging money all over the place.
I'm buying fruit and vegetables.
I'm buying health shakes for my breakfast at $2.99 a meal.
I had to buy a pair of jeans because I have shrunk out of every single pair of pants I own.
I spent money on ibuprofen, naprosyn, diphenhydramine, shampoo, toilet paper, and I bought the dog some food.
I am NOT buying books. I am NOT buying anything for enjoyment.
I am making an effort to pay off debt.
I have paid stupid things like the power bill.
I do not spend $8 a day at 7-11 for crap lunches.
I am exercising for free. I walk up and down hills on my 2 hour break every day I work. I walk the dog on days I don't work. I use my light weights to make my arms/pecs/back stronger. I stretch on the family room floor.
I am wearing scrubs that I've had for two years except for the two scrub tops I spent $50 whole dollars on when I received my first paycheck. My scrub bottoms are falling off because they are now too large. I don't whine about it. I just wear them.
To sum up my feelings: DUDE! You can just bite me!!!
I have spent half of my life married to the same man.
Twenty four of my 48 years.
Right now he's driving me more crazy than usual.
He freaking e-mailed me about an issue.
The usual issue. The money issue.
I make twice as much as he does.
I'm working my ass off. In a job I'm not particularly having fun doing.
That's cool.
I went to school to become a nurse and I have a job.
He worked while I raised kids for most of our marriage plus the college years(mine).
I have never nagged him when he's spent 5 periods of time unemployed. I supported him emotionally to the fullest extent I could. I did not walk out. I did not push him. I did not fling recriminations around like I wanted to do several hundred times.
To send me an e-mail about my spending is too freakin' much.
It's not as if I'm flinging money all over the place.
I'm buying fruit and vegetables.
I'm buying health shakes for my breakfast at $2.99 a meal.
I had to buy a pair of jeans because I have shrunk out of every single pair of pants I own.
I spent money on ibuprofen, naprosyn, diphenhydramine, shampoo, toilet paper, and I bought the dog some food.
I am NOT buying books. I am NOT buying anything for enjoyment.
I am making an effort to pay off debt.
I have paid stupid things like the power bill.
I do not spend $8 a day at 7-11 for crap lunches.
I am exercising for free. I walk up and down hills on my 2 hour break every day I work. I walk the dog on days I don't work. I use my light weights to make my arms/pecs/back stronger. I stretch on the family room floor.
I am wearing scrubs that I've had for two years except for the two scrub tops I spent $50 whole dollars on when I received my first paycheck. My scrub bottoms are falling off because they are now too large. I don't whine about it. I just wear them.
To sum up my feelings: DUDE! You can just bite me!!!
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
My Son Sent This
My sweet little boy, the one who leaves for basic in 3 weeks, sent me this song.
Listen closely to the lyrics.......
Yeah, he thinks he's funny.
Listen closely to the lyrics.......
Yeah, he thinks he's funny.
Does This Diagnosis Exist?
I was wondering if the dx of psychotic hypochondrosis exists?
Anyone?
Beuller?
Because I believe it needs to be added to the DSM immediately.
'Nuff Said.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
One day down~One to go
On my way to day 2 in my work week!! YAWN! Five a.m. comes much too quickly!!!
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Back To Work
Mondays always come around too fast.
It's a day to wake up at 5 a.m..
It's a day to slog through
Sigh.
ETC is hard.
I imagine most nursing jobs are hard.
Time to suck it up~~~hear that slurping sound?
That's me sucking it up.
Have a good Monday!
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Maybe I'm Selfish...
I just turned down extra work.
I know~why?
It's Thursday and it was from 7 a.m.-5 p.m. and 20 stinking trafficky freeway miles from here. 21 bucks an hour just did not seem worth the exhaustion or the traffic when I have to be at my regular job at 6:30 a.m. Friday.
I'm also doing a bible study Thursday mornings.
The week after next I just found I'm attending a dementia class at my job, unpaid. Yeah. Both my days off~Wednesday and Thursday, and I have to go all the freaking 23 miles back and forth for a class about a subject I think I have handled. Plus NO pay. ARGH.
I spend my days off decompressing. Getting my brain back. Being centered emotionally.
I enjoy my time off and I use that time to deal with the things my spouse is NOT dealing with.
Do I resent an unwanted intrusion on my very small time off?
Hell yes!
I know~why?
It's Thursday and it was from 7 a.m.-5 p.m. and 20 stinking trafficky freeway miles from here. 21 bucks an hour just did not seem worth the exhaustion or the traffic when I have to be at my regular job at 6:30 a.m. Friday.
I'm also doing a bible study Thursday mornings.
The week after next I just found I'm attending a dementia class at my job, unpaid. Yeah. Both my days off~Wednesday and Thursday, and I have to go all the freaking 23 miles back and forth for a class about a subject I think I have handled. Plus NO pay. ARGH.
I spend my days off decompressing. Getting my brain back. Being centered emotionally.
I enjoy my time off and I use that time to deal with the things my spouse is NOT dealing with.
Do I resent an unwanted intrusion on my very small time off?
Hell yes!
Friday, October 8, 2010
Paramedics
I have the wonderful privilege of calling 911 twice today.
I work at an ALF and we have no tools to quantify certain situations.
A gentleman was c/o of severe chest pains this morning. He was diaphoretic (sweaty as all get out) and I don't know exactly why but my spidey sense began tingling. I called 911. The paramedics were actually nice to me. They did a quick EKG on him, looked concerned, and took him to local ER. This was at 9:00 a.m. He had not come back by the time I left at 8:00 p.m.. Good call new neurotic nurse!
Second call to 911. I had a 61 year old female who was cold and clammy. I could not find a B/P reading. I tried our two different machines. I tried manual. All this time she was diaphoretic and cold. The paramedics came in and looked at me like I was a pest. Screw 'em. My spidey senses were tingling again. Guess what? The paramedics could NOT get a palpable B/P either. So it was not just my inexperience. They took her to the local ER. One guy took me aside and said, "Good call. You made the right decision." Yeah, maybe I do have some nurse instincts.
Both of the folks are at high risk for possible MIs and/or strokes. Neither were diabetics. So a BSG check did not occur to me. Eh, I wish it would have. Just to show the know-it-all paramedics I'm not a total moron.
I have no way to run EKG's or test for cardiac enzymes. Protocol is to call 911.
I'm glad I did. I'd hate to not call and then have a resident code.
That was my day in paradise.
I may have what it takes. Just maybe.
I work at an ALF and we have no tools to quantify certain situations.
A gentleman was c/o of severe chest pains this morning. He was diaphoretic (sweaty as all get out) and I don't know exactly why but my spidey sense began tingling. I called 911. The paramedics were actually nice to me. They did a quick EKG on him, looked concerned, and took him to local ER. This was at 9:00 a.m. He had not come back by the time I left at 8:00 p.m.. Good call new neurotic nurse!
Second call to 911. I had a 61 year old female who was cold and clammy. I could not find a B/P reading. I tried our two different machines. I tried manual. All this time she was diaphoretic and cold. The paramedics came in and looked at me like I was a pest. Screw 'em. My spidey senses were tingling again. Guess what? The paramedics could NOT get a palpable B/P either. So it was not just my inexperience. They took her to the local ER. One guy took me aside and said, "Good call. You made the right decision." Yeah, maybe I do have some nurse instincts.
Both of the folks are at high risk for possible MIs and/or strokes. Neither were diabetics. So a BSG check did not occur to me. Eh, I wish it would have. Just to show the know-it-all paramedics I'm not a total moron.
I have no way to run EKG's or test for cardiac enzymes. Protocol is to call 911.
I'm glad I did. I'd hate to not call and then have a resident code.
That was my day in paradise.
I may have what it takes. Just maybe.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Neurotic Nurse Statements
I think most nurses must feel the way I do at some point.
I feel as if this job could suck out my very soul if I let it.
I don't plan on letting that happen.
Drug seeking patients should be quarantined. Yup, I'm becoming that cynical.
Doctors will prescribe most anything to shut certain patients up.
Pharmaceutical companies should be forced to use their products on a daily basis. Insulin pens? A pain in the arse I tell ya.
Maybe the inventors should change needles 3-4 times a day on forty different pens. Let them fumble with the packaging and the leftover debris.
Messes with my attempt to be organized working space.
Patients with anxiety disorders, psychiatric conditions, and other psychoses.
I want to be compassionate but I do not want to get sucked down that black hole.............
Any suggestions?
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Still Mulling...
I'm still mulling this new job over in my head.
I'm getting better. Faster. More familiar.
I began laughing out loud (musta looked like a loon) in the middle of the day yesterday. Why was I laughing? Because I was told I wouldn't need my psych training at this job.......bwahahahaha! I need MORE psych training. Much much more.
I begin to see the allure of working in a hospital. One only has patients for several days as opposed to several years. That's looking more and more appealing.
I must go onto RN training. An epiphany. NOT. I just realized that I must go onto RN soon. Very soon.
The job pays well and I do have employment. It's all good now. I need the experience.
I am adapting. Slowly but surely.
I now walk hills during my 2 hour break each day I work. The job is too far from home to go hang out those two hours so I walk and walk hard to de-stress.
All for now. Go forth and enjoy your day!!!
I'm getting better. Faster. More familiar.
I began laughing out loud (musta looked like a loon) in the middle of the day yesterday. Why was I laughing? Because I was told I wouldn't need my psych training at this job.......bwahahahaha! I need MORE psych training. Much much more.
I begin to see the allure of working in a hospital. One only has patients for several days as opposed to several years. That's looking more and more appealing.
I must go onto RN training. An epiphany. NOT. I just realized that I must go onto RN soon. Very soon.
The job pays well and I do have employment. It's all good now. I need the experience.
I am adapting. Slowly but surely.
I now walk hills during my 2 hour break each day I work. The job is too far from home to go hang out those two hours so I walk and walk hard to de-stress.
All for now. Go forth and enjoy your day!!!
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Silly Sunday Observations
Just when I get used to peeing whenever I feel the urge, I have to go back to work.
As my muscle aches fade and I truly relax, it's time to go back to work.
I adapt to people who don't think the world is all about them and do not think every twinge is a need for opiates, it's time to go back to work.
As my dreams stop being all about insulin, BSGs, my initials in every tiny square, it's time to go back to work.
I enjoy the freedom of my non-hoarders house, it's time to go back to work.
I find myself not avoiding certain people, it's time to go back to work.
Not driving the freeway 23 mies each day allows a wonderful certainty of ease, it's time to go back to work.
In other words, two days off is not as long as it appears in the rear view mirror.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
I Can't Win For Losing
Communication.
It's a skill sorely lacking in all of us in this family.
I come home from a 14 hour day and any comment I make will tick someone off. Usually my spouse. Or OH MY GOODNESS that I should try and speak during one of his tv shows. WTF? What's up with that? Freaking TV is more important than his wife.
Dork is so good at denial and escape, he's barely managing the day to day things. So he zones into the TV. Thanks there Spanky! I love dealing with tons of crap all alone and without a net.
I'm not including work in this rant. This is all about home.
This is about my spouse aka the STUFFER. All emotions, problems, issues get stuffed down.
This is about my oldest son who spends all the money he makes and some he doesn't. Good thing he has no credit cards. This is about the son who'd rather drink than tell us he's screwed up or perhaps her doesn't realize what a mess he's in. Hard to tell.
I fear he's bipolar as I feared when he was 17. Prayers appreciated on this subject.
This is about the sweet loving dog who doesn't get walked. Procrastination and lack of motivation rules the males in this house. I can't walk the dog because he's too strong and I don't need another tweaked nerve.
This is about younger son who's leaving in 4 weeks exactly. I, seriously this time, cannot wait to see how he feels about basic when he comes home for Christmas...heehee with unholy glee in my laugh. Welcome to the real world son!
Talk about dysfunctional. That's my little conundrum this week.
Thanks for reading.
It's a skill sorely lacking in all of us in this family.
I come home from a 14 hour day and any comment I make will tick someone off. Usually my spouse. Or OH MY GOODNESS that I should try and speak during one of his tv shows. WTF? What's up with that? Freaking TV is more important than his wife.
Dork is so good at denial and escape, he's barely managing the day to day things. So he zones into the TV. Thanks there Spanky! I love dealing with tons of crap all alone and without a net.
I'm not including work in this rant. This is all about home.
This is about my spouse aka the STUFFER. All emotions, problems, issues get stuffed down.
This is about my oldest son who spends all the money he makes and some he doesn't. Good thing he has no credit cards. This is about the son who'd rather drink than tell us he's screwed up or perhaps her doesn't realize what a mess he's in. Hard to tell.
I fear he's bipolar as I feared when he was 17. Prayers appreciated on this subject.
This is about the sweet loving dog who doesn't get walked. Procrastination and lack of motivation rules the males in this house. I can't walk the dog because he's too strong and I don't need another tweaked nerve.
This is about younger son who's leaving in 4 weeks exactly. I, seriously this time, cannot wait to see how he feels about basic when he comes home for Christmas...heehee with unholy glee in my laugh. Welcome to the real world son!
Talk about dysfunctional. That's my little conundrum this week.
Thanks for reading.
Friday, October 1, 2010
Dear So and So
Dear Moron,
Please do not creep up my ass while driving home. It's been one long freaking day and if you rear end me I'll TAKE YOU DOWN! Got it?
Love,
The woman in the silver civic
Dear 'Oh-I'm-really-concerned-and-sweet' lady,
Give me a break. You are a meddling manipulative witch. Get a life and stop harassing others!
Signed Anonymous
Dear I-really-need-a-life,
Don't try and con me out of extra pain meds. Ain't gonna happen! I know you just want attention and have nothing better to do. But seriously, find some interests outside your teeny tiny little world.
Signed,
A Nurse
Dear Adult Child,
Dude~I don't know what's up with you but I'm concerned about the lack of energy, the irritable outbursts, and the serious drinking. Ask for help.
Signed,
Your loving Mother.
That's all folks.
Please do not creep up my ass while driving home. It's been one long freaking day and if you rear end me I'll TAKE YOU DOWN! Got it?
Love,
The woman in the silver civic
Dear 'Oh-I'm-really-concerned-and-sweet' lady,
Give me a break. You are a meddling manipulative witch. Get a life and stop harassing others!
Signed Anonymous
Dear I-really-need-a-life,
Don't try and con me out of extra pain meds. Ain't gonna happen! I know you just want attention and have nothing better to do. But seriously, find some interests outside your teeny tiny little world.
Signed,
A Nurse
Dear Adult Child,
Dude~I don't know what's up with you but I'm concerned about the lack of energy, the irritable outbursts, and the serious drinking. Ask for help.
Signed,
Your loving Mother.
That's all folks.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Extra Gig
I picked up an extra rent-a-nurse gig on Saturday. Extra moolah is a good thing.
Back to the Jungle tomorrow armed with my new NSAIDs and flexeril if I get so completely stressed as I did Monday and Tuesday. (it doesn't make me sleepy. it just helps with shoulders/neck tension issues.)
Then the extra gig Saturday at 6 freaking am but hey it's pretty easy money. No whine zone here.
Have a fab Friday all. See ya in a few days.
Back to the Jungle tomorrow armed with my new NSAIDs and flexeril if I get so completely stressed as I did Monday and Tuesday. (it doesn't make me sleepy. it just helps with shoulders/neck tension issues.)
Then the extra gig Saturday at 6 freaking am but hey it's pretty easy money. No whine zone here.
Have a fab Friday all. See ya in a few days.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
One Hundred Percent Better
Monday and Tuesday were grueling days. Extra hours to get my tasks finished combined with the stress from the mess that is my job had me hurting.
My lower back and shoulders/neck were TIGHT. Painfully tight.
Slept maybe 5 hours last night with naprosyn and ibuprofen on board.
Still could not get comfortable. Not acute, just enough pain so that I was unable to sleep.
Went to Urgent Care where my PCP had been located until she moved to Arizona last December. (How DARE she?? Snerk.)
Saw a PA and got me some mild muscle relaxers and a prescription anti-inflammatory.
Imagine my surprise when I saw what the dx was joint related.
Like osteoarthritis.
That's an OLD FOLKS disease!!!
What have I done by my years of inactivity, not paying attention to my weight, and my not so great diet?
ACK! I've gotten
After a brisk barely-broke-a-sweat 2 mile walk with my spouse and Pupples plus the meds I feel 100% better.
(Except for my denial bubble getting burst again. Smirk.)
SHOCKING NEWS:
Exercise does make you feel better.
Medication Errors
Recently, a nurse at Seattle Childrens Medical Center a nurse gave an infant 10 times the prescribed dosage of calcium chloride. That baby died.
OK. NURSES WORST NIGHTMARE.
They're investigating and I don't know all deets but man, I know I'd never forgive myself for that one.
I cannot tell how many times in the past two days how close I've come to messing up with meds but caught myself in time.
Working in a med treatment room, dealing with diabetics, some dementia residents, a gazillion bingo cards, if one is in a hurray it would so easy to mess up. Thank You Lord, I caught myself in time.
My heart goes out to the family.
OK. NURSES WORST NIGHTMARE.
They're investigating and I don't know all deets but man, I know I'd never forgive myself for that one.
I cannot tell how many times in the past two days how close I've come to messing up with meds but caught myself in time.
Working in a med treatment room, dealing with diabetics, some dementia residents, a gazillion bingo cards, if one is in a hurray it would so easy to mess up. Thank You Lord, I caught myself in time.
My heart goes out to the family.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Monday, September 27, 2010
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Working on Me
I have learned I am responsible for and can control my own behavior. As much as I'd like to control some other folks' behavior, it is beyond my powers.
I am working on myself.
I would like to discover who I am.
I know who I'm not.
I'm not the girl I was at 16. Wish I was because I had such a bright possibility of a life in front of me.
I am not the person I was at 22. Thank you Lord. I broke away from the abusive tyrant at 24. The mind games and anger bubbling below the surface but not allowed to ever show is something I never want to live through again. But I did live through it.
I have lived through everything.
Now I've decided to take charge of myself~body, mind, and soul.
I'm exercising. It's not an Ironman triathlon but we all must begin somewhere. Today was 3 miles of trail with hills that I walked with my 19yo and the dog. With my iPod blasting Robert Palmer and Foreigner, I rocked my way into a lovely sweaty glowing healthier me. My knees hurt less, I wasn't so out of breath it hurt, and my lower back stopped hurting for the day!!!
I'm eating more vegetables, more fiber, less salt, less fat, no red meat, less cholesterol, no processed foods, and I'm feeling more energy. My 16 ounces of coca-cola a day is gone. It's been replaced by one cup of green tea and tons of water. My dependence on medications is over, except the over the counter kind PRN.
I've gone back to church. I felt the need to go back. It's not the church we slid away from several years ago. It's the same building with a new edgier and more honest approach. I'm liking it quite a bit. I'll be starting a bible study on Thursday mornings this week. The fellowship with other women is a balm to my spirit.
I have many things in my life I'd like to change but I will change the basics of me first.
About time I stopped wallowing and begin to get a grasp on reality.
I am working on myself.
I would like to discover who I am.
I know who I'm not.
I'm not the girl I was at 16. Wish I was because I had such a bright possibility of a life in front of me.
I am not the person I was at 22. Thank you Lord. I broke away from the abusive tyrant at 24. The mind games and anger bubbling below the surface but not allowed to ever show is something I never want to live through again. But I did live through it.
I have lived through everything.
Now I've decided to take charge of myself~body, mind, and soul.
I'm exercising. It's not an Ironman triathlon but we all must begin somewhere. Today was 3 miles of trail with hills that I walked with my 19yo and the dog. With my iPod blasting Robert Palmer and Foreigner, I rocked my way into a lovely sweaty glowing healthier me. My knees hurt less, I wasn't so out of breath it hurt, and my lower back stopped hurting for the day!!!
I'm eating more vegetables, more fiber, less salt, less fat, no red meat, less cholesterol, no processed foods, and I'm feeling more energy. My 16 ounces of coca-cola a day is gone. It's been replaced by one cup of green tea and tons of water. My dependence on medications is over, except the over the counter kind PRN.
I've gone back to church. I felt the need to go back. It's not the church we slid away from several years ago. It's the same building with a new edgier and more honest approach. I'm liking it quite a bit. I'll be starting a bible study on Thursday mornings this week. The fellowship with other women is a balm to my spirit.
I have many things in my life I'd like to change but I will change the basics of me first.
About time I stopped wallowing and begin to get a grasp on reality.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
The Joy of Words
I had forgotten how much I adore words.
The English language.
The Oxford English Dictionary that was always out in the home I grew up in.
I choose a book out of my thousands to read this morning. An old favorite. The Third Deadly Sin written by Lawrence Sanders circa 1980.
I rediscovered hundreds of words and phrases no one uses any more. In the first half of the first chapter.
Words folks under 35 have most likely never seen.
We used to communicate with words before cell phones, personal computers, Facebook, voice mail, the internets.
Beautiful well crafted sentences.
Here's a quick list of words/phrases I noticed and wallowed delightfully like a pig in slop.
auguries
plump organs (referring to internal organs)
electric percolator
chesterfield (describing a coat)
The Hotel Granger, a coffin on end
morality clause (for hotel guests!)
japanned tray
She sat primly Is anyone prim any more?
dowdy
a bony crown rising from a horseshoe of hair Can't you just picture this instantly?
his ears resembled slices of dropping veal They don't cook it that way anymore if anyone still eats veal.
stenographer's chair
You can type it up. Copies to the desk, the front office, and bookkeeping. I can 'see' this woman typing with carbon copy paper in between pages on an IBM Selectric.
"Listen, the only reason we're at university is to snare a husband. All a woman needs to know to be a success is how to moan in bed." Bwahahahahahahahaha. We've come a long way Baby!!
a jangling, outgoing, capricious woman
I know~ enough. Wordsmiths. People used to be wordsmiths.
Time to go find a large hard bound dictionary to dive into headfirst! Because I've lost the glory of words in my daily life and in my writing. Technology is a wondrous thing, it would be devastating if the world loses the variety that is the English language.
Friday, September 24, 2010
ACK! Then Numb
Most of my 15 hour day (ten on the clock) I felt like Bill the Cat. Ack, ack and more ACK!!!!!!
From about 6 p.m. on I began to feel numb.
I drove into the garage and closed the door with the car still running. SCARY!
Now I don't feel anything. Kinda like Opus.
That is all.
It's Four O'Clock in the Morning
(Sorry about the photo quality. It's another picture that did not survive the Great Laptop Crash of '10)
Twenty two years ago my life changed dramatically.
I became a full-fledged mother after 18 hours of back labor, three hours of pushing, 16 hours of hurling, and with a full blown spinal headache. I should have taken a clue from that event and known to expect the unexpected.
Labor was the start of a life long journey.
For the first time I loved someone I'd die for in a heart beat.
I loved with a complete and all consuming intensity. I still love him, and I will always love him but things have altered.
My first baby, the one who initiated me into motherhood, turns 22 at 6:18p.m. Pacific Daylight Time.
Being the person he is, he stumbled in about 2:30a.m. waking his dog who then woke the household.
I have to be up at 5 a.m. so of course I cannot get back to sleep.
Some things never change no matter the age of the child. LOL.
As you may gather I'm slightly ambivalent about parenting my 'adult' child.
Happy Birthday K! Now move out!
(laughing but serious)
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