Clarification

Yesterday's post was not about crazy people. I like crazy people, for the most part. People who are silly, off the wall, find humor in day to day life, folks who dance in the street just because they feel like it. It's all good.

People who hate bother me. People who write hateful nasty blogs about others in the blogosphere bother me. It is personal in a way. People who hate just to hate or bring others down to their level or because of someones politics or religion or race bother me. What is the point of hate?

Historically hate and jealousy go back to the beginning of man. That doesn't make it a good thing. It makes it a human thing. I believe humans have choices.

I choose not to hate.

I choose not to judge others because of where they live.

I choose not to judge individuals because some fanatical religious factions tried to blow a plane up on Christmas day. The male from Nigeria who failed miserably to blow up the plane is some one I consider pathetic. He intended on inflicting mass destruction and failed. I just can't hate someone I know nothing about more than he was one huge dumb ass who started a fire in his underwear.

I am a woman who was born in one of the original thirteen colonies. I believe inherently in freedom of speech, religion, to pursue life, liberty and happiness. Yes I'm mixing my preamble and my constitution, sue me.

I am a pacifist. If women ran the world, there would be less violence.(Ohhhhhhhhh I'm gonna get flambeed now)

I do not avoid confrontation. I go about it in a forthright straight forward manner.
No backbiting, no gossip, no underhanded little jabs.

Being raised an an American with Canadian leanings I will never understand hate. The kind of hate between the Jews and the Arabs. Between the Turks and the Kurds. The Japanese and the Chinese. The hate ignorant rascist parents instill in their children simply by contact.

I might not like everyone but honestly, I don't hate anyone.

Wouldn't world peace be a good thing?

Thankful

I've been wandering about the Blogworld reading random blogs. There are some very disturbed people out there. SCARY!

I am thankful I personally have gotten to a point where I'm not compelled to judge others or to give my opinion on issues that really aren't my business.

Now I'm not saying I'm perfect. HA! Far from it. I do try very hard not to judge on first impressions. I'm working on actually listening to what others say without my inner narrator getting in the way.

I am stunned by the hate I see everywhere.

My life is no bowl of cherries. I do not feel the need to drag down others just because certain things suck for me. I have my little pity parties. I work at not being bitter. Projecting at other people my frustrations is just a useless and harmful exercise. I watch the males in my house project or be passive/aggressive and I KNOW I just don't want to respond in kind.

Besides, it's all about ME now, isn't it? Muahahahahahaha.

I am thankful I have grown enough to chose how I behave and think.

Have a terrific Tuesday!.

Monday, Monday

glitter-graphics.com

My interview seemed to go ok.

I did like the person who interviewed me and the DON who was in on part of the interview. They both spoke sarcasm. They were honest. I admitted I had everything to learn and would make mistakes. They nodded wisely.

I also let them know I would rather ask a question before I made a mistake and they seemed to appreciate my sentiments.

It's a scary thing to contemplate being the only nurse with several CNAs. I'm reviewing my basics just in case they decide to hire me. Nights. Yup, I'd be working nights.

I'd be working my ass off like I have never worked my ass off before. The idea kinda excites me, just a little.

My brain needs to be used to accomplish something each day. I miss the intensity of nursing school(Lord, please don't strike me with lightning!)

My brain feels dull. I want to get my intellect and critical thinking back on their toes.

There's always the chance I won't get hired~~~~~

Thanks for all who left comments. I sincerely hope you had good holidays.

All my readers who are nursing students~CHILL! Give your brain a break!

My readers who are nurses I could use advice on shoes and how to prevent or lessen back issues. I don't really have current back issues but I'm almost 48 so they may be lurking around the corner.

I go to bed tonight feeling cautiously optimistic. I have seen more ads recently here and there. Even one or two that say new grad friendly. WAHOO.

I miss you and love you.

Go over to Jeanie in Paradise
and get all mushy at the picture of her newborn daughter. Tell congrats feel the joy and then spread some joy in your world.

Silly is The Only Way

I have another interview tomorrow. For a skilled nursing facility(SNF called sniffs by us in the med business). It's what I've been looking for. Full time, night shifts after training maybe, and I would learn everything the hard way.

Nursing school was the hard way. The 46 years before nursing school were the hard way(except for my pretty darn happy childhood up until 16.). God must know I learn better the hard way because to be honest, I cannot remember learning anything of use the easy way.

The past months have been in the valley and every time I begin to climb, I slide back down. I wallowed off and on since August and have now decided while short term wallows are ok, long term wallow are a dang waste of time. HA!(aren't I one swilly wabbit?)

I've refined my resume to the point where I can adapt it for each job application.

I've learned there is a new theory to residential psychiatric treatment called the Recovery Method(Kate stop puking, k?). There is a new term in social work as well~wrap around coverage. I applied for a job at a perinatal treatment facility that uses wrap around coverage so I had to call my pal with a MSW to make sure I knew what that meant.

It means all outside agencies are coordinated for care of the client. Last year it was called complete discharge referral coverage. :P

Jeesh the social sciences are full of malarkey. No wonder I do so well in them.

I check the job listings on Craigslist every days, several times a day as they are updated constantly.

The interview I have tomorrow happened because I called the facility and asked of they were going to have any openings and lo! and Behold! a night shift nurse was retiring at the end of the year and they had not told anyone yet! Except the receptionist. Mushahaha.

Now there are 5-6 applications out there where I've had no response. Many of the ads are very specific about experience and I do not apply to jobs I know I am not qualified for. Walk ins are the way to go for most SNFs. I have a list to hit if things don't work outby January 1st.

NOTE!! Job hunters all medicaid facilities will be refunded on January 1. Go apply the week after Christmas! Because of the cuts many positions were never filled. I heard on the partyline funding comes anew next month. Good Luck Debby! :o)

I have to go return the clothes I bought for last interview since I never wore them Yeehaw, shopping...............bleh.

Thank you all for your comments, encouragement, opinions, etc. LOVE YA!!!

Interview Update

glitter-graphics.com


They hired someone else. No I did not get a reason why I was rejected.


I'm feeling MIGHTY LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW.

Janice Doesn't Like Not Having Control!!

I freely admit I'm a closet control freak. Hey, I'm a mom~we all are control freaks to some extent.

I called the psych facility. She is in the process of checking references and will 'probably' call me back later today. I'd be pulling out my hair if it wasn't in a pony tail.

It's bad enough my gray hairs are showing. I have no money to get my hair highlighted. My pony tail is 12 inches long!!!!!!!! Cuz I have no money to get it cut. I won't go to cheap hair chains because I don't want to look like a shorn cat! Exxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx-cuse me, I just don't want to look like a major hair mistake. GRRRRR. My one vanity is my hair. God is letting me know I need to get over that. Meanie!

I applied for a different job at a long term care facility where I'd learn soooooooo much. It would be hard exhausting work but worth it in the long run and LTC pays is the highest.

I had to apply online and now I wait for them to call or not to call. I adjusted my resume to fit what skill set they want their LPN candidate.

According to free career advisor, adapting resumes is the new way to go. Cover letters are going the way of typewriters.

No matter how great my resume looks, my lack of on the job experience is glaringly missing. Sigh.

I am going to volunteer if I don't get a job soon. I will volunteer at LTC and assisted living places if they will let me. Anything for experience.

I am a life-long learner. As much as I bitched about nursing school, I adore learning (math not included). Before the internet I read incessantly. I read books written by doctors, nurses, psychology text books but I find psych is exciting and fun and incredibly achieving new breakthroughs every day. The fact the brain (hippocampus) can regenerate is mind blowing.

I need to learn. I feel useless right now. I wish I had the research capabilities I had at college. Alumni aren't allowed to access this. It's thousands of articles of nursing research, medical research, new psych drugs and therapies, all nursing magazines and all medical journals. I want to read them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! For free.

ARGH. I just accidentally published this blog. Not done.

I also want to take care of those in medical need. I want to help them and knowing I helped them helps me feel better and more worthy.

Does this make any sense?

Chilly Yet Cool

It's in the twenties here. BRRRRRRRRRRRRR! We are so not used to this. I'm used to rain and temps around 45. It's been brilliantly yet deceivingly sunny. Mean ol' weather.

I think my interview went ok. For a gal who hasn't interviewed for years...

I revamped my resume based on suggestions of my college's career specialist. I sound like I know stuff! It's pretty cool after the agony. It's not perfect and is always a work in progress. I turned all my student clinicals into clinical experience. I'm sure I forgot much but half the page is about clinical learning.

Funny but I did not wear anything I bought shopping. I see a return in my future. I scrounged in boxes and found stuff I had to wear. Looking nice but not too dressy. They are very casual at the place I interviewed. I also found black birkenstock clogs that almost brand new to wear!! they are suede and look very good under slacks. My regular birks(Yes I wear them with socks, duh, this IS Seattle)are a blue clog. My nursing shoes are an ugly white which was required in school. They are comfy but white...........bleh.

I want to clear something up. While my spouse is not sensitive or my ideal soulmate, he is not a bad guy. He is projecting much of his feelings about himself onto me. I'm a great target. He was raised by a father who would have been a perfect Nazi and let's not forget, he was born on Europe in the early '50's. (Let's all nod and say ohhhhhOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHoooooH knowingly). LOL.

Our marriage has hit every major life stressor except divorce. Lost a son, my mom, his dad, he's been unemployed 5 times in 23 years. Never fired just companies going out of business or moving or sold to another owner until latest job when construction tanked. We've fairly well off to downright poverty(like now).

He has trouble with accepting change in my opinion. I believe this is why he cannot see me for ME now. He underestimated my strength and perseverance. His loss.

Thanks for all your supportive and caring comments. Love ya folks! Even you Mr. Suldog. Yes, you. Haha.

Note to Self

That little ghoul up there has his mouth shown shut.

Tips for myself at my interview:

1. Answer questions only. Do NOT ramble.

2. Stay on topic.

3. Confidence.

4. No visible jitters.

5. Deep breaths before.

6. Remember why I love nursing and psych in particular.

Oh jeez, I hate this stuff.

I Just Adore Shopping

NOT!!!!!!!!!!!

Shopping is fun for folks with money/cute sizes/look good in clothes/younger. I am none or have none of these qualities.

I need an outfit for my interview. Casual yet not my usual jeans and oversized t-shirts.

I have been a stay at home mom/student for over 20 years now. The dress code was whatever I felt like wearing.

Starting at the age of 40(give or take a year)my body sort of self-destructed. I gained weight. Things started dropping and flopping and sagging. My spouse(who's gained weight over the past 5-6 years) had a time telling me I disgust him. Gee thanks. Sure. I want to spend the next 30 years with you..........

This is also the person who told me I would never finish college. I was too heavy/clumsy to be a nurse and I was sure to fail. He said this because he was worried about me. Can we all say BULL?

Now I have achieved what I set out to do, he spends time giving me advice on finding a job............this from a guy laid off 5 times in our marriage. Call we say HYPOCRITE? I can.

I want a job to get me outta this damn house of tension, unsaid frustrations, uncommunicated feelings, underlying tension and anger.

I want a job because I will be a good nurse. I still have many things to learn but I adore learning. I know new grads have a steep learning curve. I know it won't be easy. I look forward to the challenge.

Think positive employment thoughts and I will bite my tongue in interviews. Things work better that way.

May the Lord be by my side.

Friday Night's All Right With Me

I called the psych facility.

They have not even looked at the apps. let alone set up any interviews.

ARGH.

I will go visit on Monday just to keep myself very visible, very hard to ignore yet not irritating.

I will also revamp my resume this weekend. Oh joy and happiness is mine.

Note to self: Need to dial back my sarcastic meter for interview.

Let's talk about cabana boys...

There are many people out there on the net who are well aware of my obsession with cabana boy fantasies.

Back when I was a chat host for good ol' AOL I would discuss(rant) about my desires to be on a warm beach with handsome, silent, servile cabana boys(men. no one under 28need apply).

Wowee. I just got a phone call. Interview Tuesday at 1:30 p.m. PST. (prayers puleazzze)

Back to warm water, warm sand, cold alcoholic drinks with colorful umbrellas, and hot men.

When there were lulls in the chat room conversations I would bring up my cabana boy dreams and described them.

This would do one of two things: Drive everyone off OR get a rockin' convo flying.

My other conversation starter would be ramblings that the silent chatters were the FBI sent to catch me for my criminal endeavors. Crimes such as ripping off jewels thieves and sucking mobsters of their hard earned pay.

A'yup. I do have a creative imagination. Need one when one grows up with three brothers. Take that any way you want to. (raised eyebrow)

Have a good weekend folks.

Twenty~Twenty~Twenty~Twenty- Four Hours A Day...

I WANNA BE SEDATED!
(name the band and the year it was a hit!)

I am irked.

21 years old does not mean grown up.

I am trapped within this rental prison with 4 males~one 7 month old pitbull puppy who's still working on manners, one been~unemployed~almost~a~year 50-something spouse, one 21yo working full-time and wants a life where Pupples only exists when convenient, and an 18yo going to college in January but just hanging wasting time until then.

(silent scream)

I am tired of being the mom, the wife, the responsible bill paying on time, conscientious studying every night student, dog trainer/babysitter/nap mat, looking for a job new grad LPN and not getting interviews, knowing I'm gonna be an awesome nurse and why can't THEY know that, only female in this space!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm not giving up. I just needed to vent. I need a 4 week vacation with some good friends in a warm clime with very built good looking cabana boys to serve us on the beach...................................

Well Dang!

What do you know?

The place I did my psych clinical at is hiring an on-call person.

Guess where I just happened to stop by this afternoon?

I think I can score an interview at least.

YEEHAW! I can see a teensy bit of light through the tiny crack in my tunnel.(Better watch out~if my tunnel is like that one built in the Big Dig in Boston,I may get a slab on concrete in my head unexpectedly.)

The lady from career advising at my school gave me some great tips for my resume. It was a very helpful hour. I used to be fairly smart because some of what was pointed out was so darn obvious. DOI!

My friends please pray I find the job where God feels I belong. Let's all sincerely wish that is not 90 miles form where I live. God can have a very tweaked sense of humor.

Over and out. Smile, it helps keep the frown lines away.

All I Want

...is a place to wear my scrubs.

The job search goes on. One would think I was applying for a CEO position considering how difficult it is to be employed when one has no On The Job experience.

The quandary: won't hire w/o experience. Can't get experience w/o employment.

Several of my fellow new grads cannot find work either! One has his CNA and plenty of practical experience and he's not having any luck. ARGH.

I've also noticed many nursing/rehabilitation homes have nurses in street clothes...............WTF? I want to wear scrubs!! One of the perks of being a nurse is wearing scrubs. I know they are going for 'homelike' environments but jeesh! Come on. Scrubs are easy and wash out well and are COMFY. I think they look more professional as well.

Last year at this time I was sweating finals for the first qrt of the nursing program. I kinda miss it. At least my brain was occupied. I did not spend 24/7 in the same house with Grumpy either. 3 months of spending time with Grumpy is turning me into crazy psychotic one(in my own head).

Let's just say I'm screaming like a maniac to get OUT of here for 8 hours a day if not more!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today I'm going back to school. I will spend time at the Career Center choosing a different goal...


NAW! I'm going to work on my resume. I need a grabber. You know, like a glittery area of words to grab Director of Nurses' attention. Glittery is metaphorical here. No glitter glue on my PROFESSIONAL resume.

Hmmmm maybe I should glitter the dog, just for something fun to do. Pupples would look wonderful in a glittery blue doncha think? Cuz pitbulls just LURVE when you mess with 'em.

I'll be back. Soon. Stay safe and keep the faith!!(ohhhhhhh, I'm a poet!!)