Discouraged.
That is the word that describes me best.
It's been over 10 weeks since McArmy told me to get out of his life.
I have absolutely no idea how his deployment is going.
I was told I was the person who caused him problems in his life and he did not need me.
It felt like having a heart attack at the time.
As far as I know he's whole and relatively safe.
My job has completely changed in the past month. I went from resident care coordinator for the whole facility to the memory care coordinator. I don't mind memory care about 24 hours a week, the other 16 hours are rough and emotionally draining.
The DNS who hired me has given notice and will be gone after Tuesday. I haven't seen her in over a week as she's only coming in part time in the evenings.
The soon to be new DNS came by Wednesday evening and has already discussed implementing many changes.
When I was moved to memory care the entire nursing schedule changed resulting in 2 nurses quitting w/o notice and the other one giving 2 weeks.
It left us with huge holes to fill in the schedule. Which meant some overtime along with exhaustion.
I feel as if I trudge to work everyday with my lovely commute and spend the day counting time until it's time to leave.
Once home I have no drive or energy.
I literally sleep my first day of my weekend all day long.
I do laundry the second day.
While I can enjoy the beauty of spring in the Northwest, I can't seem to find much enthusiasm for much.
I hope this is temporary due to recent changes at work, the McArmy situation, the horrible awful news that appears to get worse daily.
The good news: I get to wear my scrubs at work because I am management and don't have to wear the extremely ugly cheap red polo shirt and khaki pants every day.
I know things could be worse.
I have a job. My spouse has a job. We're not living under a bridge with the dog…………
Sorry to be Debbie Downer. I just needed to let some of this stuff out of my head.
