Easy Street

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I know there are folks out there who appear to live on Easy Street.

You know the type. Always look put together and in control. They seem to have perfect marriages,

perfect children(HA! For reals, no one has perfect children!),

perfect careers after perfect college experiences in Ivy League schools,

perfect, impeccably decorated homes,

perfect lawns,

perfect gardens, no weeds!

I don't have a clue how they pull off the perfect thang because...

I always have several hairs out of place.

No perfect make up here, no make up at all.

My clothes wrinkle. Usually 30 seconds after I put them on.

No Ivy League schools recruited me,

My home is a rental,

My lawn is eco-friendly, no fertilizer, no pesticides, therefore not perfect,

My garden is always full of weeds!

My kids are stubborn, head strong, and think they know more than I.

Their rooms are pig sties.

No matter how I try, I have never had perfect grades.

You will never find me in the magazine Town & Country. NEVER.

It might be how I was raised.

It may be how I think.

Could be simple genetics.

I will never live on Easy Street.

Anyone have any idea where Easy Street is?

Anyone?

Buehler?

You Know...........

You know you are spending too much time with your spouse when........



.....you fantasize about pretty and shiny meat cleavers sticking out of said spouse's scalp.

.....you have dreams about when you were single.

.....you'd rather go take a pharmacology test than stay home with spouse.

.....every breath he takes is like nails on a chalkboard.

.....communicating with your teenager is preferable to speaking with spouse.

.....the word HARI-KARI keeps running through your mind. Hari-kari. HARI-kari. Hari-KARI. Where's my sword?

.....your anoles are more entertaining than your spouse.

.....the work KAMIKAZI, and I don't mean the cocktail, keeps flashing in your head. KamiKAZIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!

.....you wonder how one goes about cutting brake lines.

.....part of you wants to go back in time to those days before the golden chain, oops, I mean ring, was in place.

.....you start paying closed attention to the show Snapped.(the problem with this show is all the women get caught)

.....you begin to wonder what all those weapons in the middle ages were called and how does one craft a medieval weapon anyway?

.....you consider getting a part time job. (I know! Insanity is coming for me now.)

.....Kami...........kazi.

.....joining the Peace Corps begins to sound like fun.

Still Sick

I Detest Being Ill

I have some gastroenteritis. Aka a lower intestinal virus that struck at 4a.m. Monday. Yeehaw, fun. NOT.

I managed to prevent myself from throwing up with cold water and washclothes. My other outlet could not be stooped. As long as I wasn't spewing from both ends at once I was relatively content.

I missed class today. Lucky for my classmates.

I'm supposed to be at clinical for the Eating disorders week presentation tomorrow morning but I'm thinking not the best idea. I don't want to hang out on any school bathroom's floor. NOPE.

Rather be miserable at home. With my ever so happy and helpful spouse(hysterical laughter emitting from my mouth.)

I sincerely hope all of you are feeling healthy or healing like Margalit, who had heart surgery last week. Go over and wish her well as she has more in her future. What was I thinking?.

Go do something to promote health!! You'll thank me later. HUGZ!

Things I Appreciate

Time to look at the brighter side.

1. The roof over my head.

2. The ability to see, hear, feel, taste, smell anything and everything.

3. The ability to critically think.

4. Reading.

5. Writing.

6. The internet.

7. My family even though they can annoy me to insanity.

8. Attending college so I may change myself and my life.

9. A dependable automobile.

10. Pharmaceuticals.

11. My health.

12. God in all His manifestations.

13. A life where I have choices.

14. Friends.

What do YOU appreciate today?

Just Another Day in Paradise

Another week of nursing school is over.

We had a strange test today about pre-op and post-op actions as a nurse. Very oddly worded questions and 4 questions basically about the same thing.

What does the nurse check, first thing, when the patient arrives in the recovery room? A)consciousness level...B) breathing...C)assess patient's pain level...D)do leg exercises to prevent deep vein thromboses.

Well DUH! AIRWAY, AIRWAY, and AIRWAY! AKA letter B.

It was a wonderful and fabulous way to spend 25 minutes of my time.

Ya know February sucks. It's the shortest month that seems to linger on and on and on. Know what I mean?

I have 20/20 on the tv and they are discussing Bernie Madoff, the Wall Street weener king who ripped off BILLIONS of dollars from his clients. What a buffoon as Bugs Bunny would have said. Why is this guy still living in his seven million dollar penthouse?

I have lost my faith in the American Justice system. It's not is it ethical or unethical anymore. It's how much can I get away with? When did we lose any evidence of a moral compass?

I feel stunned. Like I felt after 9/11. I'm watching the economy circle the drain and can't quite believe how quickly it all has gone under. Did anyone think we'd be this close to a depression like the 1930's?

The USA has borrowed trillions from China! I find that extremely worrisome myself. You????

I know just how Opus feels. Big sigh. I got to spend my "clinical" on campus today(and for the next three weeks Tues-Weds). I made a sign for the eating disorders screening/presentation next Tuesday.

I checked a girl out who had already called 911. She was feeling slow and spacey. She had been hit on her head with a medicine ball yesterday and told me and the firemen she had a concussion. Yeah. People diagnosing themselves. Interesting to say the very least.

I missed some stoned anonymous person who came in with a splinter in his bare feet(It was 49 degrees out). The staff member that runs the college health room and her work study person told me just how high this guy was. Rats, and I missed it.

I also got to help post fliers around campus, in my scrubs. I think I could make some bizarrely funny Saturday Night Live skit from this. Stoner guy could write it! Yes. We could make it into a new tv reality show. "Stange clinical(but not really) experiences with nursing student" Fridays nights @ 8p.m. on the E Entertainment Channel.

If the Kardashian family had a reality show, why can't I?
{wicked evil grin}

100 Things About Me, Redux

Boring am I, so here a repost from 9/2007

100 things about me...

1. I am silly. Very, very silly. It's one of my best qualities.

2. I am blind. See me without my glasses and you can count on the fact I won't see you. Not a chance.

3. I used to be embarrassed by my glasses and when I was in high school I would only wear them in class and when I drove. "Vanity of vanities, thy name is Vanity."
(Ludwig Josef Johann Wittgenstein, April 26, 1889-April 29, 1951)

4. I started reading at age 4.

5. One of my very favorite books as a young child was "Are You My Mother?"

6. I like my men to be dark-haired and clean cut. I believe this is from growing up in the Midwest(I do have a small curiosity about men with beards).

7. I believe my ethics and beliefs were formed in Michigan when I was 10-16.9yo

8. My ethics and beliefs were only strengthened from observing all the "plastics" that inhabit So. Cal.

9. I had my first date at 15.

10. I also had my first kiss at 15 and it stunk. The yahoo I dated tried to date rape me in his car after a concert. His kiss was all slobbery and gross. If I was the woman I am now, I would have kicked the yahoo in the gonads, got out of the car and then I would yell for help. I just fought him off,(no cell phone or anything back then) went home, and screamed at my older brother who knew this guy wanted(to directly quote my brother) "in my panties".

11. My brother was the meanest person I knew when I was in my teens. Verbally speaking.

12. I have three brothers. One is older and two are younger.

13. My brothers and I have absolutely nothing in common.

14. I had a pretty happy childhood.

15. I think my parents did the best they could.

16. My mom died 10(12) years ago when she was only 64 years old.

17. My dad and I did not talk for 9 years after my mom died.(Long boring story)

18. My brothers now live in Santa Rosa, CA, Santa Monica, CA and Pasadena, CA. My dad lives in AZ.

19. My grandparents on my paternal side spoke Hungarian even though they were born in the U.S.

20. My maternal grandfather died when my mom was 17.

21. My maternal grandmother died when I was a pre-teen. I never really knew her.

22. My mom was born in Toronto and remained a Canadian citizen until the day she died.

23. I was born in New Jersey and lived there my first 10 years.

24. I still miss NJ sweet corn.

25. A friend invited me on a trailer camping trip, with her parents, in August 1978 and we visited Niagara Falls, New Hampshire, Maine, New Brunswick, Nova Scotia, Prince Edward Island, Montreal and Ontario. Most beautiful vacation EVER!

26. I have never been out of the U.S. except for Canada and one 4 hour trip to Tijuana. 4 hours was more than enough!

27. I never had a honeymoon.

28. I've been married for 20(22) years.

29. I've given birth to 3 male children.

30. My youngest son died at the age of 10 months old.

31. I am a recessive carrier of the disease he died from.

32. I was blond as a child. And again in college.

33. My teenage sons are 16(18) and 18(20).

34. I think teenagers are the best argument for planned parenthood.

35. I love infants/toddlers!

36. I am the mother of a high school dropout.

37. My favorite year in school was my sophomore year in high school.

38. I have moved 8 times, not including all the moving one does in college.

39. We kept going West. NJ~MI~CA with parents. WA with husband.

40. I have lived in Washington for 17(19) years. That's the longest I've been in one state.

41. I attended the University of California at San Diego.

42. I did not get a degree.

43. I studied communications theory and took history and literature just to have fun.

44. I love psychology.

45. I dislike math intensely.

46. Math dislikes me just as much.

47. Reading is one of my favorite things to do.

48. Talking is another.

49. I wanted to attend the University of Michigan.

50. My parents could not afford UM because we lived in CA by application time.

51. I am a major procrastinator.

52. My birthday is in early March.

53. My eye are green.

54. My hair is whatever color I want it to be.

55. My husband and I met and married in 6 months.

56. We are total opposites in most things.

57. The right to vote is a responsibility and a right. I am passionate about voting.

58. I am proud to be a liberal.

59. I am a Christian.

60. I was raised Catholic but chose to leave the Church when I was 17.

61. I have to know what is going on in the world or I get nutso.

62. I detest the cult of celebrity that is present in the U.S. today.

63. I honestly couldn't care less if Paris goes commando.

64. My guilty pleasure is People magazine.

65. My Newsweek is read thouroughly every week.

66. A Bachelors in Science, Nursing is my goal.

67. I worry my grades in math and science will kill my goal.

68. My IQ has been measured between 140-180 but I'm NO genius.

69. I have had very low self-esteem most of my life.

70. My SE was so low I got involved in a destructive relationship for over 4 years.

71. My SE varies now depending on how I allow myself to think.

72. Wrongly, I have a tendency to believe I am my grades.

73. I get extremely frustrated when I cannot grasp an idea or a concept.

74. I am extremely persistant in trying to grasp an idea. I try to look at it in many different ways.

75. I am strong, much stronger than I ever knew I could be.

76. I don't act it, but I'm pretty self-conscious until I feel comfortable.

77. I am not sophisticated nor polished nor am I a girly girl.

78. I could argue with a tree. I think arguments are fun.(Not the kind you have in a marriage but more like verbal gymnastics.)

79. I have a twisted sense of humor that I love.

80. The very worst time of my life is when my son was sick and dying.

81. I still grieve but not in a knock me to the ground kind of way(though I do get hit badly sometimes).

82. I have struggled with depression since my son died in 2/96 and my mom in 2/97.

83. I was a functional depressive.

84. I roll my eyes every time a Jeopardy contestant misses an easy one.

85. I know several Yiddish expressions that I must have picked up when I lived in NJ.

86. I yell when they miss over and over on Jeopardy.

87. I'm rocking the grades this quarter.

88. Even though I try very hard to be nice to every one sometimes I come off as aloof. Or a know it all. No inbetweens.

89. I don't care if people like me or not most of the time.

90. I have strong opinions.

91. I don't believe in "preaching" my beliefs to anyone. Unlike when I was 20.

92. My favorite television show is House.

93. Most television shows are dreck especially daytime and most reality shows.

94. I used to be self-absorbed to the point of stupidity. I have learned.

95. I enjoy social interaction where it doesn't matter if I don't drink, don't swear, don't gossip and don't dance.(Actually I dance very badly)

96. I am only truly coordinated in the water.

97. I used to be a water safety instructor/lifeguard.

98. Water is my true peace place.

99. I float like a cork.

100. Safety is best thought of before anything bad happens. I am a safety Freak.

MWAH!!!

It's All My Mother's Fault

Or a lesson in transference.

Disclaimer: I am not dissing my mom here. If you can't comprehend my sarcastic methodology I suggest you click away. :P


There once was a man named Freud.

Who invented a way to query the void,

He orders one talks, 'till their subconscious barks,

And people stopped acting like droids.


Yeah, so it sucks. You try to rhyme something with Freud.....

Transference is one of Sigmund's coping mechanisms. I disagree with much of the psychoanalysis school of thought, but coping mechanisms are dead on.

I decided my difficulties in being a "groupthought" gal in nursing school are ALL MY MOTHER'S FAULT!

Yup. She taught me to think for myself. Darn her.

She taught me thinking is essential to one's intelligence and personality. Wench.

She taught me that I can achieve anything I set my mind upon. Heartless witch.

My mother taught me feminism before Ms. magazine was an idea on a drawing board.

Equal pay for equal work was another revolutionary thought placed in my head.

Another rule, never act stupid to please someone else. Can you believe it?

With my mother poisoning my mind and several learning the hard way experiences,

I was destined to think outside the box.

Damn it Mom! How could you do this to me?

Sleeping My Way Through The Weekend

I'm not exactly sure why I am so exhausted, wait. That's a lie. I am exhausted because going to college at the age of almost 47 is tiring. Getting straight A's takes up quite a bit of energy. Trying my best to keep my mouth shut at school drains me almost to the same extent raising small children used to do to me.

I'm not procrastinating. I have very little work to do this 3 day weekend. I could be doing laundry but truly I'm not in the mood.

My sinuses are over producing mucus as the tree pollens party hearty inside my nose.

I'm still in shock and so sad my friend Tammy died at the age of 40. I want to kick breast cancer's ass but it's very hard to find. The world is unfair. I know this. I have known this for decades. Why do I still hurt each time I learn the lesson anew?

It's raining. Rain is perfect weather for sleeping!

Escape, sleep offers a short period of escape.

It's February~doesn't that explain it all? ;)

Yesterday is Gone

Here's one of my favorite songs. Perfect for a Thursday! HUGZ!

Janice's House of Plague?

50% of my family is sick. Headaches, fevers, chills, snorty sinuses(geo), a son who's fevers have spiked to 105 before(last winter).

I have some allergy symptoms but am fearful the plague will spread. My friend Patty missed a clinical today because she was coughing germs everywhere.

If I start seeing black buboes under any one's arms I am outta here faster than the road runner blows off the coyote!!!!

I had the experience of following a nurse around this a.m. as she made her rounds, assessments, gave meds and made sure everyone was taken care of. Giving meds to 6 patients can take a long time. She's very organized and was extremely diplomatic with a more demanding patient. I really learn so many little tricks and hints while watching nurses do their jobs. These folks work HARD! The CNAs' also work very hard.

I try to say hi and smile at every worker in the hospital from management to cafeteria to housekeeping(I think these folks are extremely important!) As a student I recognize how hard each and every employee works.

I like to catch a CNA's back if they need it just to be nice. It can also pay back later when I'm confused and forget where supplies are. LOL. 5 different places we have worked on this quarter and every one is organized in different ways.

This goes back to basic Christianity: treat others the way you would like to be treated. Or basic kindness. It's a fairly harsh world these days so making the effort to be kind or nice is important to me.

Tomorrow is last day shift at hospital until April. I'm ambivalent about that but very happy I won't have to awaken at 5a.m. for many weeks. :P

Happy Wednesday my friends. Only 2 tests, one pharm case study, and one journal article review to go. Easy peasy week.(Gotta love psychotropic meds muhahahaha)

The Road Goes On

It's been an interesting week or so. I aced my pharm test and did well on an electrolyte/fluids test(93%) but because half the class flunked the fluids test we all HAVE to take it over again. The two grades will be averaged together. So tell me my friends, why in the hell do I, who got a 93%, have to take it again? On the director understands her own logic. Cuz I shore don't.

Not happy about having to restudy for a test I already got an A on. Whatever(yes, I am also rolling my eyes).

Pharm test #2 on Thursday. Woo hoo. On diuretics, antibiotics part I, and, get this, fluids and electrolytes. Um yeah. So funny, huh?

Last clinicals at hospital this week. The the other 6 folks in my groups get to work at schools in the area. Me. Me? I get to be on campus 2 days a week, faking some kind of clinical duty. Yeah. So not funny. 8 days under the director's nose. The two students from this quarter have been taking blood pressures for 8 days. CRIMINY. I may chop my finger off just to give myself something to do.

Psych case study due tomorrow. My case has panic attacks with agoraphobia. I had to base my entire care plan on no medications. Realistically, it would take well over a year to deal with this type of anxiety cognitively. I'd given him xanax and Zoloft but nurses cannot prescribe. WHATEVAH!

Better news. It may snow tonight. Can we tell it's February yet?

Today is my younger son's 18th birthday. He found out they are totalling his car and he had a major fit after school today. Incredible how much they grow up from say 2 years old to 18 years old....NOT!

Off to wing my psych case study diagnosis. I'm praying ya'll are having much better times than I am!! Best wishes my friends.

When The Going Gets Tough...

The tough keep on fighting.

I am determined to finish this nursing program. I can do this.

I met with my advisor today. It was so great to be reassured that I'm not an evil anti-nurse who screws everything up. Phew.

My wonderful advisor listened, reassured me and then we planned.

The goal: Finish LPN program.

The changes: I keep my mouth closed the vast majority of the time. I will answer questions when directly asked in class. I will keep answers short, sweet and very impersonal.

I will listen to my nurses in clinical situations. I do not get friendly. I stay neutral. I listen very carefully to my patients and use therapeutic communication techniques which keeps the patient as the center of the conversation.

I will learn what I need to learn to get through the next 6 months. I will succeed.

My advisor has my back with my concern about student complaints. I was assured that she will assess any student complaints and will check with the guy who's in charge of all student conduct. No minor immature crap, in other words.

I hold my career in my mouth. If I can keep that shut I will succeed.

My latest grades: 98% in Fundamentals and 97% in pharmacology.

Thank you all for your support. I could not survive without it. Seriously.

Love and good weekend to all! <3

So NOT Fair

I just found out a very good friend of mine died 12/15/08. She was 40.

Tammy was a victim of breast cancer.

She left behind a bereaved husband whom she loved without question, 3 sons who she adored with every part of her heart.

We met online. Back when AOL was king. On a stay at home mom message board. Over 10 of us bonded quite quickly and became true friends on the internet.

That was just over 12 years ago. Tammy's two younger boys were a constant source of amusement and aggravation as they tipped over grocery carts, drank Dimetapp cuz it's tasted "GUD" Mommy, climbed shelves, and caused chaos wherever they traveled.

There we were from all parts of the country sharing exploits of our children and laughing together to keep our slim hold on sanity.

The world lost a great and loving woman, mother, wife, friend on 12/15/08. I hope she's in heaven cuddling a baby. She adored babies. ;)

WTF?

This is for Speedcat Hollydale's Wordless Chicken Tuesday. Go visit, he is truly amusing!!!!!!





Somehow I find myself in hot water. I got a huge disciplinary lecture from the director today. Actually we "talked" in Friday but I guess I did more wrong things she did not know about until this weekend. I had to sign a letter acknowledging that if one more complaint comes in I'm gone.

Short but sweet. Keep your mouth shut at all times or be thrown out of the program!

Some nurse from the hospital called to complain about me. Someone I worked with last week. I talked too much or not appropriately. I'm not exactly sure who this was(don't care) so I cannot be perfectly clear on what I did wrong.

I was told I am not a teacher's asst and shall not share any of my knowledge about anything in the classroom. I made the mistake of asking folks to be quiet when we were taking the infamous computer test last Friday. Seems like someone thought I was screaming. Hmmmmmm. Anyhoo, all my lovely supporters have been writing complaining emails and going to the director about me.

I am not totally innocent of these charges. I can see where some of the points made in the letter about me were valid. As for the junior high backbiting, the less said the better.

The director threatened me if I tried to find out what nurse complained about me. OK why would I want to know? Do I look like a complete and total imbecile?

Will I trust anyone with anything in this group again? HELLS NO!

This so called know it all is not supposed to even say hello to anyone.

Is it me or is this confusing? I cannot answer any questions posed by instructors. I cannot speak unless spoken to at clinical. I apparently cannot look anyone in the eyes.

This is exactly what my spouse feared would happen when he told me he didn't think I'd make it through the program. So I cannot talk to him about this. I am not in the mood for I told you so.

If you've been reading my blog since last year you know this kind of thing was a concern for me. I had been making huge efforts to fit into the mold.

I must have been too secure last week. I was told everybody is pretty much sick of me so I had better be silent. Is this the way people get disciplined as an adult?

I did not need that comment. Now I will walk into class 5 days a week knowing most everyone dislikes or even despises me. Fab. Just what I needed.

There are folks in class that irritate me but try very hard to let that go. I don't tattle. I feel like I'm back in third grade where my teacher hated me no matter how hard I tried to please her.

I do realize several valid points or suggestions where I have much room to improve or rather just tape my mouth closed and get a few shots of electro-convulsive therapy. Why don't they do lobotomies any more? I could sure use one.

I feel betrayed. I feel suitable but harshly chastened. I feel as if there is no possible way to succeed even if I sewed my lips shut with barbed wire. I feel very humiliated and stricken to the core.

I'm sorry to dump this on you but who else can I talk to? I'm so pathetic.

Maybe prayers will help. I can't think of anything that would right now.

Hey There, Hi There, Ho There

Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to school I go.

Yep. I have been insanely busy. Two days of 8 hour clinicals, 3 tests, one presentation, one case study, decachapters of reading, blah, blah, blah.

It was exhausting. Mentally and physically. I slept Friday afternoon.

I slept in Saturday. Then took a very long nap. Went to bed earlier than normal.

Took two naps today. I have one of those evil headaches today. Makes it hard to be motivated about anything.

I did finish a case study I should have handed in on Friday. My professor is very compassionate and kind if some of us need a teeny bit of extra time.

We have to retake our pharmacy test Thursday because it was easy to cheat on the computers. The test was set up improperly. Works for me. I kinda tanked as it was.

I'll be on med/surg and geropsych this week Tuesday and Wednesday. Psych paper and careplan for our case study due Wednesday.

Sorry I haven't been a faithful blogger but it's not my hughest priority and it's not as easy to update as Facebook is. ;)

Love yas! Have a lovely week.