As The Summer Turns

Got my second math test back. Dayam. Dude took points off for everything. I got a 65%. I cannot believe it. I know I did quite well on the test we just did. After getting this grade I had a teeny pity party on the way home. So what? 15 minutes of pity party.

It went something like this. Maybe I can take my dying friend's place. Her family loves her. (Add your own emphasis-wink) My family wouldn't notice. Except BBB. He'd be pissed and would say, "Thanks Mom for ruining MY senior year!" Yeah, had to giggle at that one myself.

Then I came home and took a 3 hour nap. My nutrition class was cancelled. Shucks.

BBB got his cast off. We asked for a CD of all his x-rays. BBB couldn't see the fracture but wonder medigeek Mommy could. (It's called zoom son.) It was a small fracture but the x-rays show how well it has healed. I love looking at x-rays and seeing the bones I studied my ass off to learn.

Thank for your book suggestions. Kate the author was Billie Letts and I read it. Before I went back to school I used to read several books a week so don't feel bad if I say I read it. I'm a bookgeek as well. Keep the suggestions coming. I will celebrate the end of summer school by a pricey trip to B&N!!

Thoughts and empathy to several friends who aren't feeling well or are having a difficult time. Never That Easy who has Fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome and maybe 6 other things or maybe not as medicine has not caught up to her immune disease and the whys, hows and wherefores. Soft gentle hugs my sweetie. I love you and wish I could help. A Life Of Triggers, Eileen has teens with mental illnesses and a thousand other issues she has been dealing with. HUGE HUGS babe. Thinking of you often.

Stacey at My Little Drummer Boys needs hugs and hope. Yvonne at Joy Unexpected has been going through hard times in so many ways.

Please go give some lurve to these wonderful women from different places in the country (or world) who need support and encouragement and maybe a joke or two. Blogger Sisterhood forever!!!

Holy mo. I'm quite the revolutionary, aren't I? Snicker. If you only knew. If you only knew the realms of my brain...

I hope all of you are doing well, feeling well and coping well. HUGGLES for all!!!

HUGGLES HUGGLES HUGGLES HUGGLES HUGGLES HUGGLES

Teens Suck

glitter-graphics.com

It rained today! Hooyah! I love it. No one else does, but I do. Our lawns were all dormant and now they will be green again. It's coolish and breezy and I just love hearing the rain hit the deck and the wind through our trees. :)

My 17yo, on the other hand, is apparently in a snit. I said something,(nothing really), he ran upstairs, then refused to come down for salmon and shrimp kabobs. Damn, kid missed an awesome dinner. For what? Aren't ya glad you'll never be 17 again. I am.

Did ya'll know buying healthy food is way more expensive than buying unhealthy food? My grocery bill today was $273.00. The kabobs were a bargain. Much less than if I bought each ingredient myself. Spouse grilled them in the rain. With much complaining I might add. It's just water, jeesh.

Summer school ends August 14, 2008. It is eight weeks total.

I need some good fiction suggestions. I like medical thrillers, a really good story, something that keeps me intrigued. I dislike happily ever after cuz I know that life doesn't work that way. Not complaining, jus sayin.

The Week Wanders On

I did quite well on part 1 of math test, part 2 in a few hours. We've only gotten one math test back out of three. It takes him forever to grade them. I have no idea what my grade is and I probably won't until I get my final grades a week after class is over. Same thing with Nutrition. We've taken 5 quizzes, have 2 grades back. She does however get our assignments back quickly.

I downloaded my books onto my MDA phone. I've been having fun reading the medical dictionary and the Journals and the book on diseases. Yeah, I know, GEEK.

It's a lovely cool day. Prin come on by. You'd love it! I wouldn't mind another female to talk to in this bastion to testosterone.

I've been feeling pretty darn good lately. Fewer headaches. Less stressed. It might be a coincidence I've been eating better... Speaking of eating, someone will need to go grocery shopping as we have nothing here. Darn spouse. He didn't work all yesterday. How hard would it have been? Why am I asking? I know the answer.

Time to get my rear going. Have a terrific Tuesday!! I <3 U!

What Life?

glitter-graphics.com

I have a math test tomorrow and an assignment due tomorrow in nutrition. Spent my weekend enjoying the cooler weather. It was so nice to have weather in the 60's at night and low seventies dueing the days. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, big deep breath.

I spent time trimming trees that are ridiculously overgown. I chopped a cherry tree that was sending up numerous sprouts from it's roots. Bad, bad tree.

I dragged my spouse to see Sex and the City Friday night. Not bad. I do not see how'd they'd make a sequel.

I will not be going to Santa Barbara. Spouse backed out of hotel deal. Plus his mom is having surgery on Aug. 13 so they're going before I'm out of school. Surprise. NOT! I'm sure I would have never gotten those beach walks either.

I wonder if anyone but me will ever put me first? Rhetorical peeps. Rhetorical.

I also read 2 non medical fiction books this weekend. I escaped into other people's worlds for a few hours.

Need to go do homework. I hope everyone had a faboo weekend. Smoochie, smoochie.

Very Twisted Yet Also Hilarious

glitter-graphics.com

The graphic speaks for itself. I could not help but giggle when I watched it. Hope you get the humor.

I drifted by my advisor's office today to discuss the email. Guess what? She was pretty sure I was behaving myself. I asked several classmates their opinion and they all said I wasn't asking more questions or making more comments than anyone else and much less than one or two folks. My advisor said, and I agreed, it's the Nursing Director's opinion that counts. She's been entrenched in the program for over 40 years. I don't want to shake up the status quo. I did mentioned I had noticed some inaccurate info in the notes but I wasn't mentioning it in class.

My advisor then surprised by saying I'm one of the sharpest people she knows and she is positive I will excel academically in the program. Yeah. Support from someone I see!!!!

I can already tell you who the favorites will be. I'm cool with that as jealousy is not one of my emotions. Not in this case. I just don't want to be the goat. I know I can do this. Just as I know, if I decide to go for my nurse practitioner status in the next 10 years, I will rock at that as well. The intellectual confidence in BACK!!!!

My beloved readers and friends, I adore you for supporting and encouraging me. I cannot tell you how much it brightens my days and lightens my heart to know you are out there believing in me.

I plan on rocking the socks off this program. Girl is brilliant. :P

Four Point Oh

glitter-graphics.com

Hey. How are you? Hope everyone is well.

I have a 4.0, yes that's right, a 100 percent in my nursing 100 aka my nutrition class. Yup. One hundred percent. Who knew? I am so psyched.

And they called it puppy looooooooooooove, just because we're in our teens.......

Sorry, had a flash back to the seventies there. It's quite rare for me to get all 100's, please forgive my giddyness.

See ya'll soon. (big grinz)

Midweek

glitter-graphics.com

Girl did all her homework last night like she was supposed to. Yeehaw.

Lovely cool weather yesterday and today.

I trimmed the bushes on the walkway to the door. Now one can get to our front without get eaten by viburnum or other varieties. I filled up the yard waste bin.

Now I have to figure out what the vine that is taking over my deck. I thought it was a clematis but now think it may be from outer space. I will post a picture later.

Nothing else worth mentioning for the moment.

Tuesday Morning

Yeah. It's much cooler Today and tomorrow and then we'll be warmer(for me). My marine layer is back so the highs are in the very low 70's. I can breathe again. Yes!

All the folks living in the hell that is the Southeast, you have my complete sympathy on your temps in the 90's and 100's with humidity. I sincerely don't know how you all deal with that. I also hear it's the desert rainy season and I hope you don't have any flash floods.

I'm beginning to see who our nursing director has picked as favorites. She likes them young. The girl who sits next to me is 28 but looks 20, she is very sweet and a guy who's about 20. It was pretty obvious last night in class. Patty and I were rolling ours eyes(discreetly). It's gonna be an interesting year.

My spouse wants me to accompany my 17yo and him to drive to Santa Barbara in August. I said hotel. He said no problem. I said beach walks and weekend art fair fair. He said cool. So I'll be going. I need to get dates and make sure there's a hotel room available. I need the AC and the time where we'll be away from them. BBB is supposed to bring his best friend, could be interesting, in a good way. ;)

Spouse's mom is 85, we need to visit while she is still around. Oma is getting her knee replaced and that may change the plans. She had one knee replacement done 3 years ago and this would be her other knee. I hear the rehab is intense. We don't want to interfere with her progress. I hear all this second hand and hub is sparse on details, I have no idea what's involved in the rehab and hub doesn't ask relevent questions to his sister. My SIL deals with my MIL and takes care of her when she needs help.

Maybe I'll be going to Cali after my finals. That's it in a nutshell. Have a great Tuesday! I have math homework to do as usual. Hugs.

It's Monday!

Please visit me at Mid-Century Modern Moms

Don't Stop Thinking About Tomorrow

I can't stop in my tracks now. Come too far. The journey has been too long and arduous to stop now. Despite the message I have been receiving from my ever loving family I need to keep on going. I need to keep my eye on the prize. See the target through the scope of the gun. Eying the Bull's Eye.

Even though certain people around me are throwing rocks into my broken road, I will stand tall. I will walk through the bruises, the guilt, the unintended(mostly) wounds and cross the finish line.

I, myself, want everyone to succeed. It's my experience that many people do not feel like I do. I am not sure why. Guess I be messing with the status quo. Every one else gets to move forward but I get the feeling I am supposed to stay down here in my hole.

Screw 'em. I refused to live in darkness anymore. I want to see the ground from up above instead of down below. Lord help those who get in my way.

I will carry some guilt with me, as it is the nature of the mother to do so. I am a mother. I am not a bad mother or a great mother but a mother who has tried to do the best I could with tools she was given from a dysfunctional generation, or is it generations? I still refuse to stop.

This resoluteness will waver in the next 13 months. Please remind me when you think I need it. Thank you for your support.(Bartle & James) ;)

Helping A Blogging Mom Out

My new button to the right is all about feeling the love and compassion for one less fortunate that me and you.


Please go over to Margalit's blog What Was I Thinking? and read about the horrible health care situation that a regular mom with kids and cancer is dealing with. If you can help out in anyway I know it would be gracefully appreciated.

Grabbing Duct Tape For My Mouth

I received a lovely e-mail from the person who was my advisor last year, apparently still, titled early quarter alerts. I was like wha da? It was about my progress in nutrition the first half of summer quarter. I'm well above average in competency, test grades, group assignments and homework but I need to be more "careful" in my comments and questions during class. HUH?

The director of the nursing program, who teaches the course, must be rhetorical when she asks questions in class. No I do not try to answer every freakin' question. My spare comments to the person next to me (Patty)must have been observed, who by the way makes her own comments, as a negative feature of mine.

My wonderful spouse has been telling me that he is concerned that I will not finish the program because of my history of not finishing tasks. WTF? He's all in my face about how it took me 3 times to pass algebra and my attitude seemed unenthusiastic and his opinion was I would probably bail long before the year of nursing is over.

Damn. I hate to disappointment all the supportive people in my life by succeeding, ya know?

Thanks my Friends...

I'd like to thank all the folks south of me, which is almost the entire US as we're on the same latitude as Maine...for letting me know all the places I DO NOT want to visit in the summer or perhaps ever based on temperature/humidity levels.

I'll remind you that most folks in Western Wa do not have air conditioning and almost no one has central air. Heat is an issue here when it gets over 80 with no rain especially for the elderly and others more prone to heat issues.

The average high temp for July is 70 degrees. I find as I get older, the less climate fluctuations I like. Say....from 56 degrees one day to 88 degrees the next. My body screams at me, "WTF woman?"

Our upstairs because it's the second floor and the two skylights must be 80 degrees or higher at night. The Y chromosomes sleep with fans and are less bothered than I am. Spouse is getting extremely cranky so maybe he doesn't sleep as well as he thinks. I thought about smacking him tonight when I walked in at 10p.m. from class and he was being a dick. Dude, wanna make snarky remarks? Please don't do it after a 3 hour class and at 10 at night. I can tell Mr. Passive/Aggressive has some issues with me but I'm not getting worked up at bedtime. DUH!

The high temperature in Anchorage today was 62 degrees. I could get down with that. Spouse hates Alaska, says he's been there for business but darn if I remember him ever going up there. I hear a single female in Alaska is a popular female...

I flunked my first math test but I have a 100% in nutrition here in the fourth week of an eight week class. Golly, can ya tell which class interests me?

Spouse and BBB will be driving to Santa Barbara sometimes in early August. It will be nice to get away from spouse. Last year he took this trip and came home and was an ass. Then we had the lovely incident in November. Kinda wonder what might happen this year. No I won't go into the deets for those not in the know. Let's say spouse has used his one major gimme and no more crap will be tolerated.

I have math homework to do. Joy. At least I understand it. :) That's progress.

Another Day in the Eighties

I used to love the weather here. But the past two-three weeks have worn me down. It's 79 degrees and it's 8p.m. WTF? It should be down to 65 at least. It was 84 degrees today despite the forecast of 72. My math classroom was 79.8 degrees. I paid almost $400 for that class, I should not have to sweat my way through it.

I haven't seen rain in weeks. I haven't been truly comfortable since early June. PLEH! I don't sleep well when it's hot, ac or not. I def. have no inclination to clean. I don't want to expend the energy to breath but my brain stem keeps over-riding my breath holding, darn it.

Getting into a hot car after a hot class sucks. Ya hear me? Major suckage. Is it the end of the world? Don't be silly. The apocalyse isn't scheduled until next year. Snerk. Or maybe the year after that. I can't remember cuz I'm old, tired and over-heated but not in a good way. It's waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to hot to think about sweatin' up the sheets. I won't go upstairs anyhow, too freaking hot on the second floor.

Have you picked up on the fact I am very unhappy about hot weather yet? If you haven't, hit yourself upside the head for me, will ya?

Worn Out

Long day. Long hot day. Long freaking 10 degrees hotter than they predicted, sweating through my math test in a room where the temperature was 79 degrees, dang I only slept 5 hours, taking my kid to get his second $600 fiberglass cast cuz he got the original one wet at camp, long Monday. I think that pretty much covers it. If I write anything it'll be boring or bitchy and you all don't deserve that.

See ya tomorrow with a fresh perspective.

Huggles(imaginary cuz it's too damn hot for real ones)

Not Laughing Tonight

Beginning to remember why I wanted to a nun, at 12. To find out where the laughter ended.......check me out at Mid-Century Modern Moms Monday, July 14th, 2008. Enjoy. I'll be taking a math test, a nutrition test or my kid to get his cast put back on.......grrrrrr.

Reasons To Giggle At My Life

(this is a repost from November with some updates)

Reasons to giggle at my life.............

.....That sweet boy in the picture is coming home today. I give it 12 hours before I am hated again. Hey, he's 17. It's his job. He's like his mother and he does his job very, very well.

.....my mother cursed me when I was 17. "I hope you have a child who acts just like you do!" Dang, if her curse isn't alive and well and coming homr today. ;)

.....my other son thinks I can diagnose all muscle injuries and all nerve/tendon/ligament problems he has, has had, will be had. Snerk. Did I get a Ph.D in physical therapy when I was sleeping? (raised brow)

.....all the respect I'm given by my teenagers. Byahahaha. They kneel at my feet daily and they listen to my words as if I were in MTV daily.(Oh brother. OK bad analogy. I didn't sleep very well, cut me a little slack, huh?) :D

.....my fancy, super clean house. HA! With my robotic cleaning appliances. Giggle. And my French maid~male, mais oui! And my cooked~The Naked Chef.

.....my joy at memorizing muscles and all parts of the brain for A&P! I know how to have a PAR-TAY!!!!!! (cerebrum, cerebellum, trapezius, biceps, basal ganglia...)and currently learning all the cool phytochemicals, neutraceuticals, the chemical composition of fats in the body, menu planning, BMI(I detest this chart! Guess why?)and all the fun, minute details of nutrition for nursing! Dayam! I should be arrested for having this much fun, it can't be legal, can it?

.....all my pals on the internet are invisible but so supportive and caring! :)I giggle at all your funny posts and empathathize when you need it and it makes me happy when you leave me comments and I know I am not alone.

.....my twisted sense of humor lives on even through all the drama in my world. :P

.....I have my own cabana boys living in my head. Rowr.(And they are super HAWT!!!)

.....it's better to laugh at myself than to get annoyed or sad. Hahahahohoohoooha.

.....my face is extremely funny looking!! My family is pretty funny looking too! Oh and by the way, YOU are funny looking.

.....there are 45 pizza boxes in my kitchen because we cannot recycle them unless they are cut up into little pieces of cardboard. We'd rather look at them, seriously, than cut them up! Snort.

Have a superb weekend! HUGS for all!!

Literacy and Reading Great Books

I found this at My Little Drummer Boys which is one of my favorite blogs even though Stacey has gotten so popular I don't have her visiting me as much as before she was a Hawt Blawger. LOL. Sorry Stace, but I could not help but tease you....

I counted 48, but I'm notoriously terrible at math so it could 1 more or one less....




Apparently, the Big Read (a program of the National Endowment for the Arts) guesses that the average adult has only read six of the top 100 books on this list. I went on the Web site and tried to find this list (and the NEA's thing about the average adult only having read six), but I couldn't find it. Nonetheless, it's a fun list!

1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicize those you intend to read. (I'm including any books I've started but haven't finished. Has anyone I know ever finished Ulysses? Please speak up so I can bow at your feet ...)
3) Underline (or mark in a different color) the books you LOVE.
4) Reprint this list in your blog so we can try and track down these people who've read 6 and force books upon them ;-)"

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare, I've read all the major plays and sonnets though
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma- Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez ~could not get past the first chapter in this book, it was WIERD!
44 A Prayer for Owen Meany - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility- Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas (en francais)
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones's Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce (YAWN)
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte's Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery (en francais)
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare (just past winter quarter)
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

Words on Wednesday

This is how "mountaineer" as BBB used to call it or Mount Rainier as it is more commonly known, looked today in the clear view I had from school. Ah, I wish I lived on one of those glaciers. It was freakin A hot today. Cooled down earlier than yesterday but still quite warm, 70 degrees at 9:30p.m.

Scored 100% on my first nutrition quiz. Keeping up well, though quiz 2 was trickier. There was zucrose which was supposed be sucrose. And a few other typos. So maybe not 100% cuz of a funky question or two. Typed up my phytochemical veggie and fruit salads with the most possible phytochemicals which are anti-oxidents, anti-inflammatory, protects us from cancer promoting bad cells and many other good things.
They are part of the new neutraceuticals. Look it up. No. Okay. Food as medicine, especially preventive medicine.

Pretty sure I screwed the math test major. Another test next Monday. This I get. Now he has us doing algebra and I am not happy with stupid charts and methods created 300 years ago to figure out voting apportionment. Like who cares? NOT me!

Not much else going on except I'm tired. Could be from heat, my extra-active allergies, mental tiredness, anemia, some killer disease where I'm killed off before fall quarter. Nawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. I'm gonna live to be 100 and whining the entire time. LOL.

HUGS for ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Way Summer Used To Be

This picture is BPB at just over 2.5 years old and me at 29. We were on the beach in Santa Barbara. My in laws lived there and we were visiting with cutie BPB and funny looking BBB who was 3 months old.

My summers used to free and easy. I would give BPB the hose on a trickle and he'd pay in the water for hours. Our deck had inside/outside grass laid down on the floor and wiring over the railing openings so busy little 2 year olds did not fall down and go crunch.

I had 3 flower boxes on the deck railing in front planted with inpatients, alyssum, petunias, various other annuals. Because I watered and fertilized often my flowered thrived even in full sun. My impatiens cascaded over the edge becoming almost vine like. I did not know impatiens were a shade flower until someone told me. Who knew? (shrugging my shoulders)

BPB still took naps so we all took naps. BBB was busy learning to turn over both ways and lived to watch his big brother through the screen while he was playing on the deck.

We would go to the baby pools they had at several parks in Bellingham. And we'd take walks on the waterfront, BBB in the snuggli and BPB throwing rocks in the water.

Many days the house was a mess, but it did not matter to me. Taking care of the boys was a delightful job 90% of the time and summers were delightful.

No Rhyme, No Reason

I found out today a young friend, I'm not sure she's 40 yet, who had a bout of breast cancer, went through the surgery of taking off both breasts, went through chemo, radiation, a very painful reconstruction all the whole continuing to work in the school district, raise her young teen boys ,be a wife, and a terrific person. The cancer was in remission. Things looked hopeful. Until today. The cancer has metastasized into her liver and maybe else where.

She's 40(pretty sure she was 40 this year). Her boys are 14 and 16 and 20. She has a fabulous marriage with her husband. She is a kind and humorus and truly special person.

She's the one of the ladies I met the year after Brennan died on AOL Parenting bulletin boards. I became the host. These woman helped me to the nth degree with my grieving, my coping, my continual parenting to my surviving boys. These ladies who are in Maryland, New York, Florida, California, Alabama, Utah, Oregon and me. We had a few come and go but the core group always stayed. We come from different economic backgrounds, different politics, different religions but we were all stay at home moms and we all loved staying home.

I don't know if I could have survived 1996-2002without these women. On the anniversary of Brennan's death they bought a star for him. My angel has his own star in the sky. I was stunned by their kindness.

The best thing about these women was their sense of humors. We would have chats in AOL private rooms and laugh so hard our husbands got very suspicious. Sometimes I laughed so hard I could breath. T became a community leader with me at AOL and we'd run into each other online quite often the first few months.

I feel as if my floor vanished beneath me. I don't know what to think. Why do these things happen to the best of people? T is one of the most incredible women I know and she has so much to give the world. Another woman from the group's daughter got ovarian cancer at 22. She's still hanging in there.

When T got breast cancer one woman knitted a prayer shawl and we all sent charms or trinkets to be added to the edges and sent it to her.

Why does a 22 get a cancer common in 60 year old women?

Why does a cancer spread in a woman whom I'm proud to know and be friends with.

Why did my innocent baby die in a not very pleasant way?

I still don't know what to think. I'm so sad. My world is rocking on it's axis once again. I'm not that nice. I can't equal any of these women's generosity and graciousness, why doesn't God take someone like me instead and leave the people who could change the world to a better place? I don't mean this selfishly, none of these people deserve to suffer.

Not-A-Mom Camp

Please go over to Mid-Century Modern Moms Where I'll be blogging Monday July 7, 2008.

Rut Roh! I think I Blew It...........

I volunteered to watch babies at Vacation Bible School. When I did this, it was under the misunderstanding that my math class began at 12:50p.m. It starts at 12:20p.m. VBS ends at 12p.m. for the kids not the teachers. CRUD!

I have yet to hand in my paper work either. I am a bad bad Christian volunteer.

I'm surprised a firework did not strike me dead, yet.

I have a math test Monday. I cannot be late. I need 2 extra days in my weekend.

I have math homework to practice.

I have a chapter to read in Nutrition. Plus I have 2 assignments die in Nutrition due Monday.

It's summer school things move at a faster pace.

ACK! I'm not quite sure what to do?

I'm getting a preview into how life will be this fall. I think I'm screwed. =:-0


When did everything get so complicated?

I Am A Patriot

I was born in New Jersey, one of the original 13 colonies. Every I stepped until I was 10 years old had historical Revolutionary War significance. I knew that and even as a young child revered that.

When I lived in Michigan I knew the history of Chief Pontiac and the battles and treaties between the Native Americans and the we want the land Americans. I knew that Michigan is an Indian word. I found arrowheads in my backyards in both cities. I loved growing up on these important to our US history.

In California I learned about the Missions, Father Juan Serra. The gold rush of 1949. The important part California played in WW II watching the coast.

I have always been proud to be American~except 4th of July. Here in the moronic county of King, the county Seattle resides in along with my family allows personal fireworks. We have several Native American reservations that sell very illegal fireworks that dumb men buy and bring home to our neighborhoods.

I suffer from anxiety and that has been under control recently. Until the guy behind us set off an M80 and shook my house 2 inches to the left and the noise of explosives assaulted my ears.

I live in a very diverse hood and the people setting off the most fireworks are new Americans or illegal Americans who don't know the laws which are printed only in English at the legal fireworks stands. There are plenty of dumb rednecks trying to burn all the neighborhoods down as well.

I feel as if I'm in the middle of the Iraq war and it scares the bejesus out of me. It makes me jump every time a loud one goes off. It's been going on since yesterday even though the laws limits are 9a.m. July 4 until 10p.m. July 4. It's 10:37p.m. and I feel like I'm living in a rice paddy in Vietnam.

Now I am a very peaceful citizen but my PTSD from today wants me to buy an RPG on the black market so I can take these people out in a jiffy and stop freaking out.

Maybe a few flash grenades would make them scatter like cockroaches. If I had use of a fire hose these folks would all be dripping, blasted into the storm drains and the fireworks would be wet and useless.

Maybe then I could stop shaking and get some sleep.

Is that too much to ask in suburban America? Is it?

Brain Drain

I'm in trouble. My neurons are leaking from my ears while I sleep. In math class we all had to do a problems on the board. There are 4 main methods we need to know. I went completely blank and had to be talked though it. Not one thing I had learned in last 2 weeks was in my recallable memory. Doesn't bode well for test Monday.

I keep forgetting things. Like phone calls. Playing a bill or two. Filling out paperwork. It's like that alebra final I got a 100% in took all my IQ pts with it. YIKES.

Dumb girl, dumb girl, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when they test to you?

We have been having midwest weather. FREAKEEEEEEY! Thunderstorms in the middle of the night. Hail. Lightening strikes. Flooding. THUNDER. The days have been quite humid which, believe it or not, we're not usually above 50% humidity in the summer unless it's raining. Some guy got a picture of a small tornado near Tacoma. Wierd, berry berry wierd.

I'm off to bed praying my brain stops leaking soon. Really soon.

Taking A Short Break

I'm in the tech center wasting some time because I did not want to go home to snarly teenage and teenage son who should be at work. Spouse is most likely home by now and he'll likely have a 4 day weekend.

SHOOT me now with animal tranqs, puleaaaaaaaaaaaze!

17 yo leaves at 6:30A.M. for Young Life camp! He'll be gone SEVEN whole days. Yeeeeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Maybe I can go a week without someone hating my guts. I know, he won't hate me forever, small comfort at this point.

I will have a very serious discussion with spouse about undermining my authority with 17yo. I have to plan this out so mr. passive/agreesive doesn't get defensive or go on the attack or shut down. It's like defusing a bomb, a very delicate touch is needed.

I need to remind you, my friends, my spouse is a good guy overall. He is rarely if ever mean(I'm much more cutting in my remarks), but I am not sure if he feels guilty with 17yo, if he is trying to be the opposite of his dad or if he truly has no clue.

Last night 17yo was warned the disrespect would have to stop. He made more comments in front of gf and her friend and his allowance for this week went POOF! I did tell spouse NO ALLOWANCE for any reason this week.

Things are busy and I was feeling overwhelmed yesterday but have an illusion of control today. Snerk.

It remains in the 80's which displease this rotal duchess. I asked God to turn down the thermostat but I guess that is pretty low on his list. The older I get the more heat bothers me. Yeah I know I'm whining :P.

Folks tagged me for meme's but I can't remeber who, when or what meme's. If you still want me to meme myself to death please resend or repeat to me what meme's I have flaked out on. Thanks. Or email at MamaKRB@aol.com.

Gotta go attempt to find some useful to acheive. SMOOCHIE, SMOOCHIE!!!!!

Running With My Hair On Fire

Things to do:

Get some sleep.

Take shower in a.m.

Remember to wear bra and other clothes, preferably clean.

Brush hair

eat

Go to pharmacy and pick up script

Go to grocery store and list every type of flour they carry from rice to whole wheat to gluten free to bleached to corn etc....

Go to campus and do math home work before math class

Attend math class

Spend 2p.m.-6:30-p.m. to finish menu planning assignment. Read chapter two in nutrition book.

Eat something, drink non caffeine pop and/or Evian

Have my new housekeeper do: My laundry, clean my floors, clean kitchen, go grocery shopping, put away groceries and make dinner for the guys, she can unpack boxes if she needs extra work. Oh change sheets, vacuum upstairs, clean boys' bathroom (pay her extra), clean our bathroom, clean downstairs bathroom, dust family room thoroughly, pay my bills, organize my closet and reorder my new rewired brain............

In next weeks need:

vaccines, titer to prove I've had all vaccines except hep B, need typhoid, get skin test for tb, general health check up by gyn, check all nursing paperwork to make sure I'm not missing anything. Check litman stethoscopes online and compare prices.

At some time by this weekend read my friend's blogs and comment. Sorry guys it's too much right now.

LOVE, PEACE and SERENITY to you.