In Honor of My Friend Tammy

(My friend Tammy died in December 2008 at the age of 40 from breast cancer.) She found a tumor, or rather her gyn found a tumor during a yearly visit. She had immediate surgery and chemo. After 6 months of very good remission she had a PET that showed the cancer was in her liver and her bones. If you know anything about cancer you know that is pretty much a death knell. That is when I started sending care packages now and again. I still miss her. Her laughter, her silly stories, her fabulous giggle, her remarkable marriage~so I repost this in her memory. I wish with all my heart she was still around.)

Share Your Humor

There are times I share my skewered humor with friends or blog readers or ever strangers if I really think I'm funny.I have a friend, Tammy, who's younger than me, and has metastatic breast cancer. I thought maybe I could help her shore up her sense of humor and her immune system. I sent her several pounds of cherries last month because they are full of anti-oxidents and phytochemicals. The cherries also reminded me of Erma Bombeck's book, If Life Is A Bowl Of Cherries, What Am I doing In The Pits? It was my mom's book yet even as a teenager Erma made me laugh.

GiantMicrobes.com

This little grey guy is a brain neuron. I sent another care package to Tammers and her favorite part was the brain neuron. I sent her an extra neuron because chemo-brain tends to leave one fuzzy and extra neurons are helpful. I told her the best thing to do was put the neuron on her head during chemo and meditate.......snerk. I just did not give her any ideas on what to think about.

I also sent paint brushes, markers, pastels, stickers, paper for her to draw whatever she felt like drawing. I figure when dealing with cancer, a certain amount of freedom is critical.

I sent a koosh gun with two koosh bullets so she could chase her teens and husband around with random koosh hits whenever she felt like it.

I sent play dough. 4 different colors. I truly believe playing with playdough can solve most of the world's problems. It also relaxes the person manipulating the playdough. I love playdough!

Candy was next cuz candy makes everyone feel better. Tam also got two glow in the dark necklaces(like they have at concerts) so she could be the Princess of the night.

Tam's husband Den and he two boys take care of her very well. Let's face it, they're men. I gave Tammy and her family a fun/giggle box to open and enjoy and it helped me to help them.

If you have a friend who needs some caring or love, send something. Just a card or pounds of cherries. :)

I am not so kind. I can't save the whole world but I can make my corner of it a better, more healing and loving place.

I Was Wrong, Very Wrong 25 Years Ago

I took my first general psychology class in high school my senior year. I completely embarrassed the guy I was dating off and on, he was in the same class, by vehemently arguing with the teacher when it came to Freud's theories on women.

In my 18 years of life, I had never, not even once, so again NEVER wanted a penis instead of my female genitalia. Firstly, ewwwwwwwwwwww GROSS! I would be quite uncomfy with some thing hanging down in my pants all the time! They are dang ugly too! C'mon, let's face it, a penis is not really a thing of beauty in and of itself! I pointed this out to the teacher. The entire class sunk down low in their chairs.

Seriously, I just could NOT let that theory go unchallenged.

Especially at eighteen years of age when I knew almost everything.

In college I took a children's lit class. Our main textbook was written by Bruno Bettleheim, a Freud disciple. This author claimed all fairy tales were sexual in nature.

OH PULEAAAAAAAZZZZEEEEEEEEEE!

I argued with my professor vigorously. I had read Little Red Riding Hood hundreds of times. Never once had I thought of the red cape as a metaphor for my period. Nor did I consider the Big Bad Wolf as some male lusting after my virginity. I was outraged at the assumptions made by this doofus. (Bettleheim was later kicked off the Harvard staff for plagiarism and for being a pedophile(I knew I was right about this weirdo)

Now many years later the emphasis in psychology has changed. I still feel Freud's theories on women hold little merit yet I never ever thought I would say this. Freud did not have his head up his rear. He was RIGHT ON when it came to coping mechanisms because I've used most of them since 1996.

Humor-we can all see this.

Denial~it's amazing I did not drown

Displacement~my immediate family

Repression~not so much but more than I realized

Isolation~which I did everytime I began to get depressed.

Classically emotion centered coping.

Symptoms from some of these~headaches, backaches,muscle tension, elevated blood pressure.

I apologize Mr. Freud I judged you based on two of your other theories without seeing the plank in my own eye.

Interesting what several decades will do to one's thinking.

The Power Of Water

I love water!

I am a water girl, born and bred.

I am also a Pisces, where the symbol is two fishies.

I was born close to the Atlantic Ocean in New Jersey. We'd go down the shore every summer and spend time at the water. My mom shopped for fish, right off the boat. Before I was 10, my mom had introduced me to flounder, cod, fillet of sole, red snapper, shrimp, scallops, lobster, crabs, clam chowdah. Since we were Catholic we ate no meat of Fridays which I loved cuz the seafood was tasty!!

We belonged to a swim club and by the age of 3 years old I could swim anywhere. I spent many, many days at our swim club entertaining myself in the pool for hours. My older bro and I playing in the creek near our home. We caught baby crabs, frogs, polliwogs, minnows and leeches(my bro sent me into a deep dark pool in the creek and I came out with 5 leeches clinging to my legs!!!)I screamed loud enough for several moms to come running! My bro was snickering the entire time. Jerk.

I discovered lakes, lakes, and more lakes when we moved to Michigan. There was a small lake every time I turned around. They were our skating rinks in the winter and where we fished for sunfish in the summer. We belonged to another swim club and swim club mania became part of my life. I used to be able to swim underwater for 2 entire lengths of the pool. In 10th grade I got my lifesaving card so I could be a lifeguard.

Swimming and social activities went together as I became a social teen. My dates used to be canoeing, swimming to the raft on various lakes, walks around a lake, anything where I could immerse myself in the magical properties of Water. Water-skiing was a great date as well!!

I floated. I can float for hours, seriously. Back, front or survival floating and I can do it for hours. I would float and dream underwater dreams. I was a mermaid, a dolphin, a seal, a shark(this happened before I'd attack one of my little brothers!)I loved to sit on the bottom. I'd time myself and how long I could sit underwater. I dove for money or anything that did not float. I was content because I was in the water. There was so much freedom in the water. I couldn't hear my mom calling if I were underwater.

No wonder I picked a college on the cliffs over the Pacific Ocean.

I swam at LaJolla Shores, Scripps beach, Solana Beach, Del Mar, Cardiff, Encinitis and every other beach I could find in North San Diego County.

I also spent time in the pool during school. I earned my Red Cross Water Safety Instructor which game me the ability to teach swimming(fo' money) and to lifeguard. My WSI class was only one credit but I had a blast and met the entire male water-polo team!!

Three of my summers off university were spent teaching and guarding. I taught three year olds how to swim across the pool. Some folks had real jobs...my job was splashing around with kids in the pool all day. I was pretty tan and blonde!!(Hard to believe) Not to mention swim instructors got pay higher than minimum wage.

I enjoy nothing more than walking on a beach. Preferably an ocean beach but I'm not too picky. My ideal world would having me living near the ocean........the water calms and energizes me, makes me think more creatively. I love water.

I want to cry when I see what has happened to the Gulf. So much destruction. So many futures gone.

I'd gladly take a bus everywhere if it would save any water from more oil spills!

Where's your favorite place to be?

A Blast From The Past

(Drama from 'The Stomach Turns" circa 2008)

There is something to be said about the males of the human species. Because they have a Y chromosome instead of the extra X, they have testosterone. Because of this testosterone males have a event that occurs when an older male has teenage male progeny. It's some ancient malarkey with a dash of BS thrown in.

I watched my father rage his way through this with my brothers. NOT a pretty sight.

I watched McHub play the "my cajones are bigger than yours" game with K a few years back. While this behavior does have a peak, the interaction pattern lasts for several years.

Last night McHub and R had their flash point. On my, there was drama! R has late start this a.m. meaning his classes do not started until 9:30a.m. Because of late start I let R hang with his friend Ke until 9p.m. last night. R comes in and wants something.

McHub and I are sitting there, he watching American Awful and I was attempting to catch up on my lit homework. R asks if he can sleep over at K's house. Dum, Dum, de DUM. I say no. He gets bent. Asks why in his 'oh so I'm pissed at these morons voice'.

He goes out door to tell his pal. Comes back in. "You can call his mom."

Me, "Nope. Doesn't matter. I said no. I detest last minute things..."

McHub steps into our conversational jungle which is always rife with teenage drama and danger,
"Why are you eyes looking red?"

R gives a OH NO YOU DIDNT! look and the game is on.(I am so rolling my eyes by now)

"Are you ACCUSING me of something?" screeched young Obi Wan.

"Your eyes look red and asking I was.", claimed Yoda in a passive yet aggressive voice.

Screech, screech~~~PA comments and attitude from Yoda.

Young Obi Wan leaves the ship screaming, "I'm not staying here with HIM. I'm so gone!" Slamming door commences.

Now here where I get screwed by being,


wait for it...................



rational

yeah. Bytes, don't it?

Yoda begins in on me and how we should go and fetch young Obi Wan as one fetches a runaway 5 year old.

I calmly explain that this approach will not work. Kid is 16 and one cannot grab his 72 inch body by the ankles and drag him home.

The attack commences. The second honeymoon is SO over.

"So we're just gonna let him sleep over there!! Huh! Huh? He has no right to feel the force... blahblahblah." Yoda badgers.

So I have pissed off my middle-aged man who's gonna pop a stroke cuz he lives on fat and salt and sugar called fast food. His territory is in danger. Warning, Warning, testosterone is approaching! He's on full "I need to pee on my area" alert!

Young Obi Wan is all super angry at his friend's house. This is not the end of this.

I'm in the middle. Everyone hates me right now. Because the drama commenced at 9p.m. my lit assignment will be late.

I'm irked because they are harshing on my buzz. It really sucks when you crash land face first.

Going along fine. No major conflicts just staying the course.

Anyone have any animal tranqs handy?

I think Yoda needs to be sedated for a day or two.

P.S.~Did I mention my almost migraine? Yeah, sucks to be me today.

Meatloaf And Being A Teen Back In The Day

I was walking this evening(12 blocks!) when the song, "Paradise by the Dashboard Lights" by Meatloaf~1977, "Bat Out Of Hell" Album, played on my iPod.

It reminded me that long long long ago couples used to go parking. Parking, for those of you who forget or are too young to remember, is driving your car and a member of the opposite sex( Come on people! it was 1978, I don't have to be politically correct) to a remote spot and parking the car, turning off the engine but leaving the radio( YES! the radio) on.

Then there's a bit of small talk, playfulness leading to serious "making out". Making out consists of kissing, and kissing and kissing. Lots of kissing. (Lord, how I miss those days of kissing just to kiss!)

The kissing might lead to touching above the waist. Usually if the couple is fairly well-acquainted. This means the couple did not hook up 20 minutes before at a kegger and don't know each other's last names. Usually they've been dating. Yes good old fashioned dating where the question was to kiss or not to kiss on the first date. Oral sex was NEVER mentioned. Never. Anywhere. Not in my little Midwest world in the 70's. Married couples may have been swinging but teenagers dated.

Sex on the first date was for outdated stoned hippies and NOT the children of the late 1970's. Nope. Girls who did that were the ones we talked about behind our hands and giggled at when they walked by. Heck. I never said we were nice. We were cliquish upper middle class high school students. There was strict social structure.

My first love and I adored the song "Paradise by the Dashboard Lights". We turned it up everytime time we heard it. It is a song that brings back sharp clear memories of him and the insides of his car and other things. Snerk.

Now finally, to the point, my first love told me his mother thought the song was about baseball. There's a section of the song where the Yankees' long time announcer does a play by play of what is happening on the field of play~the car. I believed my bf believed his mom thought that. I, however, knew she could not be even close to that stupid. It's very clear by the background sounds what is going on.

Aren't sons funny about their moms??

Old School Crazed Mom

Here's one of my posts from before I suffered--um, I mean persevered through nursing school.

........ Manic Monday that is the one I've been playing. It looks like there is more than one. YEEHAWWWWWWWWWWW! I get to talk about myself some more...(jumping up and down) wheeeeeeeeeeee and away we go!

Being the meme ho that I am, I'm pretty good at taking the prompt and doing it the Janice way. The theme is rank. Some folks may think of the military when they hear or see this word, not me. Some people may consider their Technorati rank, not me. The guy next door may think of his rank in "society"...get real dude, this is Seattle and we keep the secret from anyone who was not born in state, not me. There are so many possible ways to view this theme.

Being the mother of teenagers, I define rank as smelly, nasty ass, evil, disgusting teenage hubris. For example, my 19yo(now 21) wasn't using any sheets on his bed. He makes one comforter a mattress cover and then nests into several other blankets, pillows and comforters. Never ever takes a shower before bed. Never does laundry. Never notices that his room has been declared a toxic waste site! Jeez Louise, this kid's bedding smelled something terrible! Kinda like he smells but with lots o' sweat and grunge mixed in. My washer backed away from me when it smelled K's bed clothes.

Seriously.

Back in the days before K was went through an 'Is this kid mentally ill or is he just a real pain in the arse?' phase, he was one fantastic kid, into leadership, soccer, baseball, every girl in the 9th grade over a number 5 on his scale of 10 and he was in 8th grade. This was the year his select baseball team had, get this, work outs with a trainer twice a week at SIX AM!! I got the pleasure of driving Mr. Snarly 15 miles out into the wilds of SE King County on unlit and very twisty roads every Tuesday and Thursday for six freakin' weeks. Ok I digress, but ya'll know how much I like my sleep! This was the year K played select soccer into February and several weeks that clashed with select baseball. Not to mention kid was in junior high and was just starting to get really squirrely.

K had two pairs of cleats. Soccer cleats and baseball cleats. The soccer cleats smelled like a trash dump on a barge going to North Korea.

They stank.

Totally, obnoxiously reeked.

I could not handle it. He had to keep his cleats in the trunk and was not allowed to bring those cleats near the nice warm inside of my car. I was stunned that the leather did not decomp from his stanky foot sweat. Blargh. It was awful. He also had to change his socks before I would allow him into my car.

Teenage boys really know how to do "rank"!

Have You Ever Wondered.............

HYEW............if you are the only person who's had a bad Monday?

HYEW.........if my spouse is as anal as he seems? He came home today and gave me crud because I ran the dishwasher. He had apparently run it this morning early...........well, as Steve Martin used to say~~Well, EXCUUUUUUUUUUUZE MEEEEEEE!!!!! Listen up bozo spouse! I was trying to keep things clean and all that neatness you like. Next time you can take a flying leap off the freakin' Space Needle, YA HEAR ME?????

HYEW........what if I NEVER find a job? Every single ad requires at least one year of experience. I had two turn down e-mails basically stating my qualifications were not compatible with what they're looking for. Once again I have to answer~~Well, EXCUUUUUUUUUUUZEEE MEEEE!!

Golly, I'm so sorry I choose to raise my own children instead of letting a daycare raise them(not really). If I had known that would be detrimental well then, I would have worked just to pay for daycare and let folks I don't know teach ethics and morals and manners to my kids. America is so screwed up sometimes. I actually decided I was the best person to raise my kids and now that makes me unemployable because my lack of a recent employment history? I took responsibility for my kids. When did that become undesirable? I did not go to work when they began elementary school or junior high. I felt these were critical times for me to be there for them to come home to me. I helped them to understand problem solving, what safety issues are critical to a mother for her children, how to think for themselves, how to question authority respectfully, and I taught to look at a situation and analyze what is really happening.

Was that wrong? I don't think so.

(DISCLAIMER: I am not against working moms in anyway. I am talking about my own choices for my own children. I think everyone has to make their own choices and I will be the last to judge any mother for whatever choices she has made, past, present and future.)

HYEW..........if men are inherently stupid? (Once again I'm talking about the males in my life off the internet) I do not get the allure of guns and weapons. Never ever will. I am convinced that the Y chromosome has some serious flaws going on there.

HYEW.........why stupid door-to-door sales people come to our door when we have a no soliciting sign in plain view? NO I don't need new windows, carpet cleaning, magazine subscriptions, or over priced candy.

I'm not sure if I feel better now but I got some of it out of my system.

Thank you all for reading.

signed,

cranky and discouraged along with a dash of frustration.

Friday Fripperies

I'm sitting here watching Miami Medical, an already canceled show on CBS. They've canceled several of my favorite shows this spring( i.e. Trauma, Friday Night Lights, Law and Order).

The magical trauma surgeons on MM can't figure out the diagnosis on a patient they thought had the 'bends' from a diving accident. Nope. I had the DX 5 minutes before the so-called docs.

Tetanus! It's tetany(medical terminology) of the muscles aka 'Lockjaw". I was screaming at the tv,

"She has tetany you imbeciles!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I sat down and laughed at myself.

I'm just as obnoxious when Jeopardy is on. I call out the answer. If no one knows the answer on tv I say it louder and tell my spouse I'm betting all my money on that question. He shakes his head and wonders how he got stuck with silly old me. Spouse lacks the silly gene. He had it when the kids were little but it atrophied in the past 10 years.

I also make fun of the fools on Wheel of Fortune. I detest when they ask for all the freakin' vowels. Jeez, how dumb are the people on that show? The Wheel of Fortune RV is at a casino close by this weekend looking for contestants for next season's shows.

Hellz no! You won't see me there! PULEEEEAZE!!!!

I embarrass myself enough without doing it with 25 million people watching. Jeez Louise. I still remember how horrid I felt when my clinical instructor was helping me with my first sterile urine test in the ER. This lady was out of it. Suspected overdose. We had to struggle to get her pants off, then her panties which had a sock in them???????????? We looked at each other and struggled not to laugh.

While the patient was out of it, she held her legs closed and I screwed up the sterile field twice! I was sweating bullets, my face was all flushed, I was breathing heavily, and my hair was falling out of my pony tail. She finally found the urethra(which apparently moves as a woman ages) and obtained a specimen.

She later told me she thought I wasn't trying my hardest and said she was angry I was making fun. I still am all WTF? I was trying very hard and yes I sucked but it was my first time. Did I need to cry to let her know how bad I felt for screwing up, twice?

Right after this incident it was dinner time. I was still all red faced and sweaty and my hair was a mess. My fellow group members asked if I was ok. Um, no not really I replied in my head.

Oh those golden memories. Snort.

My spouse got a job! It should pay the same as unemployment, which runs out in a month. Yea spouse!

The bad news is Pupples and I will be home alone all day tomorrow. The kids are both working and spouse is doing his first full day.

Pupples loves routine. He and spouse have this whole planned daily thing going. Oh, is he gonna be forlorn tomorrow. While he loves me, I have not been the alpha dog, spouse has been. I will have to suffer through Pupples whining because he misses spouse, next he'll whine because R won't be home all day. Lastly, he'll miss his "owner" and I use that word ever so loosely, and will start getting even more pathetic. He whines worse than a toddler.

Pupples must weigh over 70 pounds now and I cannot pick him up or restrain him physically.(I swear, that dog is cross bred with a horse because he's getting HUGE! and he has 6 more months of growing!)

Please send good vibes my way because it will be one long Saturday!!!

Repost From When I Still Had A Sense O'Humor

Have I Told You How Cool I Am......?(New 2010 comments in italics)

.....I am cool because yes that IS me in the picture with the cast of House and yes Hugh and I have a "thing" going on. (I also have a "thing" going with Foreman but shhhhhhhhh don't tell Hugh!)

.....I took the Nelson Denny reading test for my LPN school application and I got the highest score they have ever seen at that testing center. (Shhhhhhhhhhhhh, let me keep the "in the top 1% buzz" for a few days)(I'm still proud and happy abut this...)

.....I mailed my application in today and have great faith they will choose me to be one of their 40 students for the class of 2009. (It's a lottery so my stellar intelligence don't really count as helping me getting accepted.)(Yeah, as you know I got in. Too freakin' funny because I had no clue what a trying year that was gonna be!)

.....My 16yo is annoying the crap out of me and yet, I still haven't smacked him upside the head.
(He's sworn into the Army today. He scored very high on the ASFAB and could join special forces if he wanted to. I figure the Army will succeed where I failed to teach him to be neat, polite at all times and how to clean a latrine)

.....I still order special and new lingerie to keep the homefires burning.
(Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, what a joke!)

.....I have green eyes. (Mwahahahaha, only several of you will get that.)

.....I read textbooks like Microbiology: Principles and Explorations and An Introduction to Brain and Behavior just because I love learning. (I'm such a geek, seriously)

.....My unique and quirky sense of humor. (Haha that's one of the things that made my nursing director dislike me intensely)

.....I care about others, not just my friends and family but for our "brothers" as Jesus directed us to care.

.....I care deeply about my country and how much work it will take to fix all the problems we having going on. (I'm giving my kid to Army, how patriotic is that!!)

.....I volunteer. (I do, just not in healthcare where it might help me)

.....I have come to the other side of my baby's illness and death and I will live better and more happily because of it. (Only took me 12 years...) (Silly me forgot about my road being broken, so while this was my biggest challenge, I'm now facing others.)

.....I am me, all the time. (Hahahahahaha, except in interviews where I need to staple my mouth shut)

.....I have some of the kindest and most supportive friends online!

.....I have decided to fully support my 19 year old in his decision to be an Army Ranger!

.....I remember each and every Bugs Bunny cartoon, what a maroon, and can quote from it extensively.

.....Even though things look dark now deep down in my heart I still have faith things will work out before I'm forced to live out of my Honda Civic. (Shhh don't tell anyone, My public image is morose.)

Invisibility

In my part of the country poverty is almost invisible.

Many bad aspects of our American society are invisible because people just do not want to see them.

Here in the Northwest everything is hidden by trees. Mobile home parks are behinds fences or walls with trees all around. It took me weeks to realize the neighborhood across the main road was a trailer park! I usually am quite attentive to details.

Unless one is in Seattle, the homeless are only seen by freeway entrances, very rarely hanging out with a sign at a major intersection, or walking/riding a bike by themselves. If you want to see the homeless you have to go looking for them. Trust me, they are here, there, and everywhere.

A month or two ago the annual count the homeless event was held. This is done to assess the needs of the homeless and to try and get accurate numbers and see if the population is growing or shrinking. Just for the town near my home over 200 folks without home were counted.

Poverty hides behind tress and bushes, blackberry vines(run rampant in the summer and are not native to WA so they are an evil weed taking over land without prejudice. Or in the middle of a subdivision. Walking around my neighborhood one finds lovely newer home that have well groomed lawns and trimmed trees.

A street or two over and one can find a rusting car or two parked in the street in front of a place that needs painting and gardening. This 'neighborhood' defies any classification because of disparate incomes, rental housing(which is not necessarily a bad thing), homes that range from 30 years old to five years old. You don't see any laundry hanging in the front yards or rednecks drinking beers in lawn chairs with their shirts off but if you could see some of the backyards, I can promise you they exist nearby.

A house behind us boasts loud music and drunken revelry most weekends in the summer. Up here, that is not the normal. Not the excess loud rock and rock nor the drunken yelling, "Yeehaw!".

People hide 9 months of the year because of the weather. They don't like to be conspicuous the other 3 months unless it is their lovely gardens or washing their cars.

Poverty hides. We have a 10% unemployment rate officially. If you count those who are unemployed but have gotten discourages or don't get unemployment compensation the number goes to 16%.

How does this compare to your areas? Can you see the folks who may need work or food?

This Week

This week younger son will be sworn in. After he goes through physical, testing, other malarky the bureaucracy creates.

I'm still struggling with the fact my blue eyed blond haired ever smiling baby is enlisting in the army. He's willingly going to West Georgia for 18 weeks of basic/airborne training. You couldn't pay me to hang in West Georgia! On the Alabama border. Bleah.

His father and I will go to his swearing and support his choice. Even if we do not understand.

Okey dokey. My older son just brought some girl in whom I've never met, seen, or heard of. The Pupples was trying to lick her under her dress(Bwahahahahahaha). I have to admit there are many days lately when I question why we had children.........and where did my raising them-ethics, manners, values, common sense etc.-go. I never see these qualities in the oldest. Not for the past seven years.

I did not expect my kids to grow up and be like me or want to live here forever, seriously. Yet who knew how 'off' they might turn out. So the 50 parenting books I read between 1988-2006 can go screw themselves because whatever I learned from them was obviously written to placate moms and make some dough. (In case ya didn't notice there is a thread of sarcasm here)

My mother's revenge. Wish she was around to laugh at me.

Nothing career wise set up but ya never know what might appear on Craigslist and/or job sites during the week.

I wish every one of you a great week and am keeping you in my thoughts. Peace.(Snark. Get it?)

Join My Crowd

Margalit is a long time blogger who has always told it like it is and has suffered greatly from trolls and nasty harassment. I think her response to my post The Unsaid in Our Society is worth reading for all my readers.

You know that I speak up loudly and clearly about our financial situation (worse than yours, if that's possible) and how scary it is to be disabled, old, poor and almost homeless (3 weeks to go) in one of the most expensive parts of the country in which to live.

I also know the expenses of moving to another part of the country, never mind to another neighborhood where you currently reside. Moving is not the answer. The answer is more complicated, and if you're following California politics at all, you'll note that there is an outright war going on against the poor, blaming us for all the problems in the country and those running for office (Meg Whitman) talking about how much MORE they can cut for us welfare cheaters. It is UNREAL that the poor are blamed when social benefits are already cut to the bone.

What we need is a movement, just like the civil rights movement. We need to rise up as the lower class citizens who are stuck in a cycle of poverty, not from a lack of education or desire to work, but through circumstances like chronic unemployment, ageism, and disability.

We need to rise up and face the nation and let them know the truth about poverty in America.

I will keep posting interesting and well written responses by my readers as long as they don't mind. We need a village to bring back a middle class into our society.

I Knew It Wasn't Just Me

I thought this response was well written and expressed my thoughts better than I did. I decided to post it here and I dearly hope the author will not mind.




Dear Crazed Mom,

You are dead on with this. I too find it odd that so many of us sit in silence while the middle class is inexorably squeezed out of existence.

During the health care debates, I was furious at times over comments from people who have health care coverage--and think those who don't, could easily have health coverage if they really wanted it. I still have coverage, but it ate 20% of our 2009 income. Only the spectre of a catastrophic illness wiping us out for good makes me keep paying for the bill. Far too many Americans are so wealthy they have never heard the experience of the poor or homeless; unfortunately, those are the kinds of people we routinely elect to make our laws. So naturally they make lousy decisions about the poor (like sell the car,) thinking everyone CAN support themselves financially IF they really want to, which leads us to another whole rant. People whose minds are bound by those limitations have NO IDEA what it's like or how bad it can get for the poor. They don't get how a responsible person could end up broke.

Those of us who know from experience tend to keep quiet. Who wants to admit they're chronically broke? I have learned to say without chagrin we simply don't have the money for (name a good or service.) We have become creative in saving money by bartering, cooking at home, or going without. Miss Merry Sunshine, I'm not, rather often.

And we're not even unemployed. Although we own a business, there isn't enough volume (just another little gift of the present economy) so we continue to deteriorate. Like every refresher nurse I've met in the past year, I went back in order to survive financially. This week I finally got the license, but it took so long (11 months)that it would have been futile to try if I had been desperate for work. Not to mention it wasn't cheap.

I know a few things now. First, we who know need to stand up straight and speak truth to people who run companies or make laws that destabilize our economy. We also need to insist the voices of the poor, homeless, & those who live at the margins of society are heard and respected. Those would be a start, and if we don't do them, we'll be in this stupid, painful position a long time.

Husband & I wanted to DO something about this. When we could no longer give financial support, we volunteered time at a homeless shelter, which has been an education all by itself. That's where I learned that many of us with homes are just one financial misstep away from the homeless shelter... Even without misstep it is entirely possible to scrimp and wait in hope, and end up not being able to recover financially.

I am glad we moved out of my hometown in the Rust Belt when we did. Their unemployment is at 12% and you can't sell your house because nobody's buying because people can't get work... I see job listings here for LPN's and I'm surprised you can't land work in an ECF. What holds you there, where unemployment is high? Thank God for online want ads! Can't you find work in another region where you could stay with relatives or friends short-term? I'm pulling for you, Crazed!

Thank you very much dear responder! I've applied at ECFs and been turned down. I know that many nurses who had moved on to other careers came back into nursing because of the economy. In the state of Washington for one to keep one's nursing license current all one has to do is pay the fee every year. Yup. No extra education to keep current is required.

Our economy here in the North West went down last and I'm certain will come up last. The newest job reports(for all of the US) say 441,000 jobs were filled last month. Around 420,000 were temporary census jobs. Need I say more?

My license as a LPN is only good in the state of Washington. It takes quite a bit of wrangling bureaucracies to have it changed to another state. Each state has different scopes of practice for LPNs. RNs can go anywhere in the country, so I hope to be able to get my RN some day.

I don't have anyone I could really 'stay with' so that option is not an option for me. Until recently California could have been an option but my MIL's house was just sold as she's living with my SIL. No extra room at the inn any more. Thanks so much for your support!!

Any one else have thoughts on the topic of Unsaid Issues in our society?

The Unsaid In Our Society

My mother used to tell me stories about growing up in the Great Depression. She was born in 1932 and that economic trench affected her family greatly. She was the 6th of seven children. She remembered, vividly, that her mother went out to clean other people's houses.

Instead of seeing this as heroic, my mother saw it as shameful. I have no idea what my grandfather was doing during this time period. Strangely Mom never said much about him.

I was told of 10 cent double feature movies with 5 cent popcorn. These Saturdays were huge events in the dreariness of her weeks. I heard about Veronica Lake(mainly because my hair was always covering one of my eyes), Joan Crawford, Tyrone Powers and the whole gang of actors in the 1930's. I wasn't very impressed being a spoiled middle class of the 60's and 70's.

Now I see what she was talking about.

No one talks about the terrifying aspects of our current economic situation. My spouse has been unemployed for over 15 months. I have not been able to get a job as a new grad nurse. I know of many new grads that cannot get jobs, but I am ashamed of my lack of employment.

Going grocery shopping is simple these days. The cheapest foods such as macaroni and cheese, peanut butter sandwiches, scrambled eggs, top ramen, and very little fresh produce simply because it is too expensive.

We have been financially challenged before but this, THIS is bad.

Our internet connection and phone are with one of the cheapest companies, screw Comcast. We don't have $75.00 a month for them. This cheap company actually is just as fast which surprises me.

My oldest hates having his cell phone not working(we are all on same plan but he uses internet), so he "lent" us money to get it turned back on. I never use my cell phone but take it in case I need help. (I need help in so many ways but my cell phone doesn't cover those areas).

I realize many people are in the same boat.

Yet almost no one talks about it.

Much of our country's middle class is now working poor or, like us, poverty level.

Folks think it's easy to get food stamps or emergency funds. Nope. It's not. It's almost impossible if one owns their car because Washington thinks one should sell their car to eat. Dang Washington! I might need that car to live in soon.

Pawn shops are flourishing. I did not comprehend what pawn shops were until my thirties. Yes I was sheltered. Now I know what they are for but silly me, I have nothing to pawn. My jewelry is relatively worthless. I know because I actually set foot in a pawn shop a few weeks back.

Do you think I'll be telling my grandchildren about all this some day?

I might not post this. Folks will think I'm asking for hand outs(I'm not). I just feel our secretive society needs to open up. The poor are not lazy worthless individuals. Just people caught in the whirlpool a destroyed economy creates.

Can't Find The Words

My baby boy should be enlisted in the army by Friday.

He's quite excited. All Gung Ho.

I never planned for this. I've worried about many things but one of my boys enlisting? NEVER.

How did this sneak up on me? Kid can be stealthy when he tries. Unlike his mother, kid CAN keep his mouth closed.

Just last fall I was still problem solving for him. Where did he get the idea to make decision without any input from his parents?

The drama king in basic training is impossible for me to imagine.

Don't get me wrong. I'm glad he's taken over his own life.

Enlisting when there is a an war on is INSANE!!

(I don't want anyone to spew Republican bullshit at me about this war. I've read all the propaganda thank you. If you disagree with me, keep it to yourself, K?)

I am enough of a history student to know no one has ever won over the Afghans. Through all of history, no one has conquered in this part of the world. They may win for small periods of time but eventually it goes back to tribes and opium.

War is not a video game. I fear the kid doesn't have the capabilities to comprehend what he is getting into. How would he feel if he lost his legs? Lost his sight, or worse his hearing. No more chillin' to the iPod. How will he cope with combat stress? Killing real live bleeding screaming humans?

I freely admit I do not get it. I also know it's a guys and weapons thing when it comes down to it. I'll never get it and I'm thankful for that.

I am not ready for this. I will never be ready for this.