Would You Bail Me Out

Of jail if I tazer that jerk in the cajones? I guess the question really is: are you my friend? Cuz friends bail friends out of jail when needed.


If Only the Queen of Shake-Shakelived nearby.........we could wreak havoc on the evil, snooty, ego the size of Asia, coach. Cuz rumor has it that woman is devious! I also know my pals Liv and Margalit and Kate and several more of you could really cause some serious damage on a man who slices children's hearts out without flinching.

BBB is not the first and I know he won't be the last. He will just stop in the middle of something and just stare. I don't like it. If only I had superpowers.................

On the other hand, the move has begun and here I sit in my new office on a blow up mattress writing to ya'll. It's been pouring all day, hard to move our leather furniture and queen size beds. Unless we want the house to smell like Noah's ark. No. Thank you.

Thanks for the hugs and support. It means much to me. I heart all of you.

Help! No Clue What To Do!

My 17yo was cut from the high school baseball team today. COMPLETELY unexpected. He played on the freshman team in 9th grade and on junior varsity last year. He played jv in middle school as one of only two 7th graders on the team. In eighth grade he was middle school varsity. This coach is an asshole. No doubt about it. But he led my child on. No hint he would be cut.

I have a heartbroken son and I'm helpless. I do not know what to do. I know I can't make it better. What can I do? Please, if you've been through this or have an idea, let me know.

Signs You Might Be An Old Fogey

Repost from awhile back! :)

Signs You Might be an OLD Fogey:


1. You get all bent outta shape because a building has gone up in 2 days w/o you noticing until it's done. You drive by, do a classic retake and wonder how the heck you missed that?!!

2. It makes you sad when you realize certain stores have closed down and replaced with another Thai restaurant!

3. You cannot make out any lyrics in a rap song except for the nasty epithets.

4. You miss Johnny Carson. (Even the fact you remember Johnny Carson!)

5. Your teenage children point out how "square" you are all the time.

6. The first TV your family owned was either a black and white version OR you had to get up and physically change the channel.

7. Gas used to .99 a gallon and darn it, you want that price back now!

8. You find yourself muttering ,"Darn teenage drivers!"

9. You mention how great "some celebrity" is looking to your spouse and then ya realize said celebrity is your age or younger! (Botox is a MIRACLE for some folks.)

10. You miss the days when David Letterman was cutting edge humor.

11. The names of new bands make you wonder what kind of nutjobs are in the music biz nowadays.

12. You use phrases like nowadays! Snort.

13. Your MySpace page never gets any inappropriate comments. :(

14. Facebook, MySpace, Friendster, and Xuqa are completely unrecognizable names.

15. You have no clue what a social utility is. (Speaking as a parent of teen boys you might want to check your child's computer for social utilities...)

16. "Roots" was an original and thought-provoking mini-series the first time you watched it.

17. You can recall when Farrah Fawcett looked GOOD and/or you owned one of her famous posters.

18. Charlie's Angels was a TV show and NOT a movie.

19. Your ever-so-kind 16yo hears one of your favorite songs and lets you know he thinks "The remix of said song is way better!" (Took me awhile to comprehend what a "remix" was. I consider a remix a terrible thing that happens to great music!)

20. You are completely unaware that Painkiller Jane was a TV show on Sci Fi. Worse, you never knew there was a Sci Fi channel!

21. Your kids cannot believe you used to live without a home computer, a cell phone, an answering machine and you never felt deprived.

22. You owned a Walkman cassette player and thought you were so Sylin'!

23. You still own any cassette tapes or vinyl albums or an 8 track player!

24. Walking everywhere when you were 13 was not a hardship.

25. The first computer you owned was a clunky Apple that did not have a color screen.

26. You walk into the kitchen and immediately forget why you went in there.

27. Algebra makes no sense, has never made any sense and will never make any sense!

28. You say, "Huh?" trying to comprehend what your teen just said to insult you.

29. Bouffant hairdos are in, again. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!

Bad Wife

Repost from last summer. Enjoy.



Let me tell you about Bad Wife. Since my loss of Brennan and my mom and my battles with depression, I became a Bad Wife. I freely admit it. I can't seem to make a dinner everyone likes so I don't make dinner. I do try and have something on hand that they can throw together (quesadillas, sandwiches, hot dogs, raw veggies, fruit) when they are hungry. But a full dinner, so not worth the time and effort.

Bad Wife detests cleaning, especially when it will just get dirty/messed up all over again. Bad Wife thinks, "Why bother?" Like the ONE bathroom we have in the house. Me and 3 males. If I clean the bathroom it takes less than 12 hours before someone pees on the seat or the floor. Dirty grimy footprints appear in the tub. Some one leaves toothpaste spit(so grody!!) in the sink. Or trash on the floor, cuz white boys can't play trashball( both my boys are pitchers and can throw 80mph fast balls but cannot hit the trashbin). Looking at this logically makes me wonder if 1 hour of cleaning is worth a few short hours of clean? Nope. Not to Bad Wife.

Bad Wife leaves laundry in the dryer. I know, time for the firing squad, doncha think? McHub likes doing laundry so for years he has been doing his and the boys'. He will not touch mine. Whatever. McHub waits for the dryer buzz to fold everything before there is one tiny wrinkle. Heaven forbid we run out of laundry detergent! Bad Wife never even notices if the detergent is low. Bad Bad Blind Wife.

Bad Wife's kitchen floor is gross. Dirty and with my constantly shedding hair all in the corners. May lightening strike me dead. Bad Wife thinks: no kids crawling or eating off floor and I'm not sticking to it, not time to clean yet. Bad Wife hates loading the dishwasher. McHub will wait and see how long it takes to get me to load the dishwasher by leaving dishes piled up for a week. Bad Wife doesn't care. He ends up doing it himself because Bad Wife can wait it out.

Bad Wife takes naps when she is tired. Bad Wife should be cleaning but she doesn't. It is low on Bad Wife's priority list. Bad Wife stays up past midnight and later. Bad Wife(with the exception of this quarter) schedules her classes in the afternoon and evenings. Bad Wife sleeps in. Get out the guillotine!

Bad Wife has learned how to care for her needs, not everyone else's. Bad Wife spent many years cleaning floors and tiles with toothbrushes and bleach, now she knows better. Bad Wife used to clean toddler handprints off the windows daily. No more toddlers. Bad Wife reads books. Bad Wife studies bunches and bunches during the regular school year. Bad Wife goes out to lunch once every few months. Bad Wife will spend money on a pedicure even though Bad Wife had never had a pedicure until last summer. Bad Wife learns fast!

Wandering Through My New World

It's time for Heads or Tails Tuesday. Please go check out Skittles Place ! Let's continue wandering through my new house...............................
Welcome! Just ring the doorbell and we'll welcome you friends!
Here we go into the small foyer.
This is the living room just right of foyer. Yes, those are my bookcases and extra stuff. We're still working on what is going where.
The kitchen sink.
The family room from one view.
And from a more stright on view.
The master bedroom window.
View from office, it has a half wall.
Yes boxes of my books in the office.
The back of the house. BPB's window is the middle one. BBB's on right end and he has another window on the side. I think we'll use the deck often.
The garage and the Nazi car. My Honda will be parking here from Friday on.
Our way cool mailbox(snerk)we're no. 2.

Boring Dull Pictures Of The New Place

This is the front of our new house.

This is one of the crazy new occupants. (shhhhhh, I think she's stoned.)

Oh my gosh! I hit the shutter button!

This is the master bedroom window. Yes, Crazy Lady's room.

This is the front entrance from a left view.

This is Crazy Lady's son, his name is Baseball Boy.

Funny Things About Moving

First thing: We're not telling BBB(who's already boxed himself) the new address. Muahahahaha.

Second thing: We're changing all locks and not giving keys to the teenagers. This way Geo and I can romp anytime we're in the mood. Bwahahaha.

Third thing: We sent the boxes with the boys' stuff in them to Florida.

Fourth thing: I dumped all those old grungy guy clothes of Geo's. Shhhhhhhhhhhh, he knows nothing yet.

Fifth thing: All the kitchen ware is mysteriously going to get lost between here and the 10 blocks south of here where our new place is. "Um, gosh honey, I have no clue what happened to the pots and pans?" quizzical look on my face.

Sixth thing: Because I gave away boxes and boxes of old clothes, I'm hitting up Nordies on Monday to replace them all! Ahahahahaha! This is going to be one well dressed gal who graduates in June. Liz Claiborne anyone?

Seventh thing: I'm not moving 10 blocks away. I, myself, am moving in with Tom Skeritt, a local Seattle guy who has waaaaaaaaaaaaay more money that Geo.

Eighth thing: I'm leaving an Acme Bomb designed by the road runner in our old place. Wile. E. Coyote genius..........

Ninth thing: I'm freeing all 600 spiders and mosquitoes that have been living with us into landlord's office next door. Hehe.

Tenth thing: You have all thought I'm an average stay at home mom/ student. I'm actually CIA and have been putting the Patriot Act into action by spying on all my neighbors.

Boxes, Packing, Playing the Game~Updated

Update At Bottom of PageIt's time for me to swing into action. Luckily I really don't have any pressing homework. (yeah, really lucky) I haven't looked at spreadsheet in weeks. I need to pack and clean this huge living room we all use. I have to decide what to trash, to give away, to keep and pack and what I can't move until next Friday which is when the cable, computer and phone will be hooked up.

My friend gave me a cute bear with a backpack way back 3 years ago when I began my academic journey. Last year, she gave me a bear dressed as a nurse. These are keepers.

All my stupid Chicken Soup books are give aways. I have 15, I'm ashamed to say.

The table decoration for the baseball banquet I put together when Riley was 14 comes with us. It's green and gold and his place on the varsity baseball team this year has the same colors.

Pictures are def. moving with us.

The pretty, silly suncatchers in all 3 windows are moving as well. Now I'll have a family room where the sun will shine in forcefully.

My Brennie will move in the car with me. His ashes I mean. They mean much to all 4 of us even though the rotten teens would never admit that.

Gotta get moving, hahaha, I made a pun. Snerk. I hate puns.

Update~who remembers the Cold War? You know, we'd have occasional skirmishes with the Soviet Union and were always worried they'd blow; for the most part I was all smoke and mirrors.

Cold War v.2 is in my living room. McHub is furious with BPB for reasons I will not get into except the kid took off the moment he heard we were packing. BBB is walking around like a bomb, you can hear the tick-tick-tick when he stalks by. He's not helping much either. Geo is like a huge stick of dynamite with a very long fuse that is lit.

What heroic person would like to come and save me? I'm peacefully packing, throwing stuff away and sneezing despite benadryl and Flonase. "Man murders family with a pick axe during move!" You know where to look for me. Buried in the back yard on the shores of Lake Janice....

Math Midterm Update

I finished the test on time. I was not sweating, shaking or nervous. I feel like I might have gotten a B. Now that's no guarantee cuz last time I thougtht I got a C. But I knew how to do almost every problem. There are two problems I'm not sure about. He takes off credit if you get the right answer the wrong way. That's what I think I did.

Thank you everyone who held me close and sent good vibes and prayers. I walked out of that room feeling good. Nice change of pace. :)

LOVE YOU!!!!

Math Midterm #2(HELP ME!!!)

Friday, February 22, 2008 at 1pm Pacific Standard Time I take midterm # 2 in Math 97.
I could use all your high math skills vibes sent this way. Please. I have to pass this class to move onto Math 156 which I need to be all finished with my AA. Prayers are extremely welcome. I think a miracle may be needed. ax^2+bx+c=0 is the quadratic equation. -b+/-the sq. root of (b)^2-4(a)(c)/2(a) is the quadratic formula.
x=-b/2a is the formula to find the vertex of the parabola. Complex numbers need to be in this form a+bi. i is for imaginary number aka complex. Example problem-find the vertex of the parabola y=-5x^2+10x+6. Looks like fun, huh? I can actually do this one. It's the one like this: Construct a quadratic equation that has the solutions 4i and -4i. Write your equation in the form ax^2+bx+c=0.

On the other hand, I am doing very well in my literature class now. Getting A's on assignments and beginning research on the huge research paper in Hamlet and Women in the 16th century. Haven't clicked on a thesis yet. I am so thrilled to have been born in the 20th century. Women have come so very far in the US and Canada! We are blessed.

Happy Friday all! SMOOCHIE SMOOCHIE!

Things I Wouldn't Mind Getting Back

Thirteen Things I Wouldn't Mind Getting Back(now that I am middle aged)

1. My perky breasts

2. My lovely thick hair

3. My stretchmarkless tummy

4. My almost flat tummy

5. My never cracked heels

6. My ability to swim a mile without stopping

7. My cute butt from all that swimming ;)

8. My unfreckled/unmoled skin

9. My killer legs(I also took dance class)

10. My witty ability to flirt shamelessly

11. My thighs which did not touch(until I was preggo with kid #1)

12. The confidence from never making any huge mistakes(pre-college)

13. The outfit I wore on second date with hub. It was a cute cotton crop top and skirt/shorts(very short), pink striped and size 4(34-24-34). Oh yeah. I want to have all my wisdom and experience but with my much younger body.


thursday 13

Has Anyone Seen My Perspective?

Because I am pretty sure I lost it or it ran away screaming into the dark wilds. My darling hubby is sitting here watching this assanine show that tricks people and is supposed to be funny. It's not. Funny, I mean. My hub is laughing along with the canned laughter. In my horror of this lack of true humor, I'm imagining a huge green spotted purple tyrannasaurus rex breaking through the ceiling and eating both my husband and the recliner. Hole in the roof be damned! Just get rid of the infantile humor man quickly, before I do it.

My 17yo is off all week for Presidents week. What great things did our presidents do to warrant a week off school? Sleep with movie stars? Pretend they did not know about Auschwitz so they could let Russia grab Poland? Send Native Americans on the Trail of Tears? Let's get real. One day honoring our slave owning President Washington and our emancipation proclamation Lincoln is more than enough.

17yo has new girlfriend. His mission is to spend all his time with her. I may be unreasonable but I feel he needs to spend an hour or two packing up his stuff. Silly Janice, she forgot BBB gets all he wants cuz he plays the Dad like a violin. Am I wrong to get aggravated by this overt favortism?

19yo's job is laying people off. He is "looking" for another job. I walked into some really inane fight between BPB and hub. They were arguing over what way is better to stabilize BPB's back license plate? Did I miss the memo where this is a world changing event and must be done the correct way? Sue. Me. I walked right on by.

I went shopping yesterday after I got my hair cut(very cute, a bit shorter than norm) and highlighted. I thought if I went home I'd kill my buzz bigtime. I stopped by Lane Bryant who happens to have a huge sale going on. I picked up 6 new tops and one very cute hoodie in turquoise(kinda like the surfer hoodies they used to wear in the 80's but lighter). I rarely go shopping and I got-a-nice-now-I-can-wear-something-new feeling. I did not even mention it to hub until this afternoon. I only spent $110.00. Told ya it was a good sale! All very bright colors, comfy and cute.

I'm still running on cranky. I'm keeping my mouth shut but looking for that T-Rex............and if you find my perspective or my sense of humor please send them home to me!

HOT Tuesday

It's time for Heads or Tails Tuesday. Don't forget to check out Skittlesblog for more HOT posts and links!!

Topic is the letter P

P is for poetry which is fun to read but sucks to analyze!

P is for pity for which I just indulged in self Pity.

P is for Pluto, that dog belonging to Mickey Mouse.

P is for Pacific, of which ocean I miss daily.

P is for pagan which I am not.

P is for palatial which my new house is far from.

P is for paper, pen, pencil and print.

P is for patella which is the bone in your knee.

P is for paradoxical which is my mood lately.

P is for parasite which all teens can be.

P is for parent which I happen to be.

P is for pastime which my BBB will start playing in 2 weeks.

P is for peace which we all would like to see.

P is for pringles which I like to eat.

P is for procrastination which should be my middle name.

P is for persistent which is a quality I try to keep.

P is for perspective which I will make the leap.(of faith)

P is for phobia, heights are it for me.

P is for pimple, I still get them for free.

P is for perplexed, my 17yo just complimented my new hair.

P is for pool where kid wants to play there.

P is for pollen which causes me to itch and sneeze.

P is for pretzel which sounds tasty right now.

P is for pricelessness that is YOU!!!!

Memememememememe

Melisa From Suburban Scrawl tagged me and I haven't done one so I thought I'd do this one. I am cheating however. My literature book is closest but on page 123 they're discussing proper MLA citing (YAWN) so I randomly flipped it open.

Here are the rules which most of you know I refuse to follow to the letter.

1. Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages).

2. Open the book to page 123.

3. Find the fifth sentence.

4. Post the next three sentences.

5. Tag five people & post a comment here once you post it to your blog, so I can come see.


page 701 from Literature: Reading, Reacting, and Writing Published by Thomson Wadsworth Boston, MA 2007

This poem is by Langston Hughes, written in 1926, lines in italics are the fifth and the three following.

I am Negro:
Black as the night is black,
Black like the depths of Africa.
I've been a slave:
Caesar told me to keep his door-steps clean,
I brushed the boots of Washington.
I've been a worker:
Under my hand the pyramids arose.
I made mortar for the Woolworth Building.
I've been a singer:
All the way from Africa to Georgia
I carried my sorrow songs.
I made ragtime.
I've been a victim:
The Belgians cut off my hands in the Congo.
They lynch me still im Mississippi.
I am a Negro:
Black as the night is black,
Black like the sepths of my Africa.

I am not sure who hasn't done this meme so I'll leave it as an open Tag.

Packing Plus Some Angst(pity party warning)

I packed over 30 small boxes with my books today. Yup, thirty boxes. I will give away the ones I plan on never reading again. Mostly trash plus an entire box of old National Geographics. I love NG but I never look at them more than twice and yes I do read every article. I don't subscribe just to see naked tribe members, I have more class that that. Jeesh.

My shelves are empty for now. I starting thinking on a metaphysical plane. I sat there and wondered who's lives would change if I were to go poof? The sad answer was one person, my husband. My oldest cares about nothing but himself. My 17yo thinks I get in his way with silly things like curfews and wanting to know where he is and if a parent is present.

Even my used-to-be best girlfriend is so busy with her fiance, her disabled son, her job of managing all the NICU nurses at a large Seattle hospital. I don't fit into her life anymore. She's pretty happy and I'm glad she's not lonely.

Do any of you ever wonder what your funeral would be like? (Give me a break I'm immersed in Hamlet!) I will not be having a funeral so it would be a memorial service. What's the point if only 3 people show up? My brothers live their own lives and my dad is pretty much all bout my dad these past 10 years.

I have online pals but me being gone wouldn't put a crimp in anyone's style. The college might wonder why I flunked my classes--missed the finals cuz dead people do not take finals.

Is my purpose in life over? The kids are pretty well raised. I think McHub might be relieved to be rid of the mood swings and my introspection(guy would not know intospection if it hit him on the head~how peaceful my mind would be w/o existential introspection).

All I can see right this minute is all the things I never finished, like UCSD or something as simple as decorating my house to make it a home. I've never written a book or a magazine article or anything that could help others. I haven't discovered a cure for chronic pain. I finished high school, I got married, I raised my boys......what else is there to say?

Janice~a mediocre life

Living The Good Life in The 21st Century

After reasearching life in the 16th century, I've decided life in the 21st century is much more fun. Completely and totally more flexible. I'd be dead if this were 1500 A.D. or to be politically correct 1500 C.E.(common era). Many women never made it to the age of 30, let alone 45. Women died from minor cuts, falls, pregnancy, childbirth, after childbirth from puerperal fever, getting beaten legally by any male, I'm convinced more than one woman jumped in a river to get away from a terribly oppressive life.

If women offered an opinion different from their father and/or husband they were looking for serious trouble. Women were not allowed to have thoughts let alone opinions. Dang, I would have been dead by age 10. Or perhaps married off to the town drunk. Which would be worse? Death or living with and obeying the town drunk?

This 20th century born female would have never survived earlier eras. Who could live without a microwave? Indoor plumbing? Cotton sheets? Think of the bugs without the invention of screens! YUCK!

Things I am grateful for in the present era:

electricty

heat

women's rights(especially voting)

refrigerators

tupperware

tampons

supermarkets!

the law

police

court systems and justice

The Declaration of Independence

The Constitution

telephones

soap

hot water heaters

M&M's almond

clean water

the ability to read

cheap affordable books for all

education for all

music/radios/cds

cars

milk I don't have to milk a cow to get

women's liberation

medicine and all the breakthroughs in the past 100 years

my right to say no

ice cream

dinners to go

vacuums

cameras

vaccinations

mostly healthy infants/children

no small pox

NO black death

email

computers

movies

pencils

ball point pens

paper

washers and driers

DISHWASHERS

shampoo

and on and on.

What do you appreciate that we have now??

One Million Dollars For The Cure To Allergies

Why I'll pay 1 million buckeroos for a cure for my allergies:

a)drippy nose

b)itchy nose, throat, ears, eyes

c)stuffy nose that causes mouth breathing at night

d)red, red eyes

e)congested nose

f)random itchy places on my body

g)red nose~just like Rudolph!

h)post nasal drip

i)clogged feeling ears

j)squinty untra sensitive to light eyes

k)runny nose whenever I move anything with dust on it

l)swollen tonsils~don't let anyone tell you swollen tonsils are only for viruses or infection! Allergies can cause swollen tonsils as well, I'm living proof.

m)sinus infections

n)runny nose

o)runny nose

p)runny nose

I will pay one million smackers for a cure! Not benadryl or some other med now. I'm talking cured for life without needing shots 3 times a week. Who wants some money?? Go find me a cure. Now. Please.

Hamlet: Not A Love Story

I cannot figure out what kind of story Hamlet is, except the trite tragedy moniker. I don't see a point to the story Shakespeare is revered for. Nope. Found it pretty dumb. I also thought Romeo and Juliet was stupid as well. Dying for "love" at 13 is stupid to me.

I know I'm missing all kinds of nuances. I caught the nuance of incest, lack of loyalty, all women are perfidious and they are all at fault for any wrongdoing committed by every and any male. Uh. huh. Maybe in 1500. This might have played well back then. Doesn't play at all for me.

Could be a zombie pic for all the meaning this story has in realtionship to me, except as a required step on the road to graduation. In fact, it might be more amusing as a zombie flick. Night of The Living Dead was scary yet amusing. I was cheering for the evil human eating zombies myself. I'm perverse that way.

All my pals with English degrees and Masters and Ph.D's~please explain to my WHY Shakespeare is still relevant today and what am I missing in Hamlet!! Please. Educate me. Enlighten me. Envelope me with your love for Shakespeare!

Welcome to Wednesday

"Mom!Mom!", I heard in my ear searly this morning. Mr. 19yo stayed home again and was informing me of his plans. You'd think my closed eyes and slight snoring would have clued him him...? I went back to sleep because I could.

"Mom, can I take the Mercedes?" a voice wafts through my dreams again. My brains slowlty reconizes that question does not compute. I sit up half-way, "Whaaaaat?

"K's truck won't turn over and I need to go get him, go to school and bring him back to his house." Speaking quickly.

"Kid, no way. You don't have a license and I can promise you your dad would get angry. I'll drive you to school." swearing under my breath as I yank my brush through my greying hair.

"Moooooom! Dad won't be mad." yeah, right. Who would get all the flack? ME!

"I'll drive you."

He mumbles as he phones his friend. I stick my tongue out behind his back.

I was told at 5a.m. I needed to go the bank today. I went to the bank and I bought boxes and a tape gun to begin the packing. I also grabbed a Coke/no ice from McD's. Next up I'm going to do handstands while revising my poetry paper which received the grade of D. I get a week to rewrite. In the middle of Hamlet. I need to summarize acts 3-5 by midnight. Huge seminar question on Hamlet due Friday by midnight. No Problem. After all, I have nothing to do.

Remember I was liking and understanding algebra last week? Not this week.

I got antibioitcs from my doctor yesterday. She's says I'm most likely suffering from the Honeymoon disease. Too much sex. I knew I'd be paying for that somehow. (wry smile)

Today is my baby brother's birthday. He's 39. He's also getting married on August 16, 2008. He has invited us. To Palm Springs in August. ahem. I'd rather be in San Fran in July.

Let's Talk About LOVE

This meme was invented and is facilitated by Skittles. Want to Join? Go to Skittles Place and check it out.

LOVE is.......

Love is..........laughter even through tears.

Love is..........perserverence.

Love is..........up and down but always present.

Love is..........giving birth.

Love is..........cheesecake when needed.

Love is..........compromise.

Love is..........staying married through birth, death, rich, poor, healthy, less healthy, employed, unemployed, teenagers and more!!!

Love is..........allowing one's spouse to be themself.

Love is..........watching your husband hold his son after he died and feeling his pain as sharply as my own.

Love is..........moving over and over with a man who drives me insane.

Love is..........romping around when the teens leave the house for an evening.

Love is..........forgiveness without rancor.

Love is..........flexible.

Love is..........silly.

Love is..........watching old Bugs Bunny toon DVDs.

Love is..........tickle fights.

Love is..........Worth fighting for.

Grinding my Teeth

I was just informed I'm too emotional. F**K. Where the hell have you been Mc Man? Did I not tell you of the female issues? Did I not tell you how crappy I felt physically and out of control mentally? Do you sleep every time I open my mouth?

I have an appointment at the female part doctor tomorrow. Joy. Nothing like being reamed. Yeah. I know. Graphic. But I am feeling reamed right now in several different manners.

I detest moving with this person I chose to spend my life with...did I know I was going to feel so hostile before we moved 5 times, 3 times with young children and way too high expectations of this SAHM to have all the time in the world to pack and clean? Between toddlers and nursing once time and Little League and PTA and grief issues and hearding my 9yo & 11yo children daily. No, I know now though. I thought knowing would help me cope. Now when I'm going through hormonal hell and algebra and Hamlet and 2 teenagers.

BREATHE.......................

PS~17yo just called and he and his father are going all the way to Panda Express to get me food. I hate when HE cuts my anger in half. (Floating away on a slow boat to China...)

Meandering Monday

Oh Bill the Cat, I miss your daily eloquence. Only those folks who have read Bloom County in the 80's will understand that comment.

Moving news: my diligent hubby has sent me three, yes like 1-2-3, excel sheets with checklists on the systematic packing, cleaning and various other directions for every room in house. No, I couldn't make this stuff up. I am a go-with-the-flow girl. If, say when I'm cleaning, I get distracted and move to another area w/o finishing the first, I don't consider this a problem as all areas eventually get done. None of that, according to Mr. I-Should-Have-Married-A-Stepford-Wife.

Let's get real~spread sheets on cleaning? Lawdie, it's a good thing my tomahawk is missing. Yeah. It's gonna be like that. Can ya'll hear the nails on the chalkboard sound or is it just me?

I admit I'm not sytematic nor am I inclined to structured organization. Sorreeeeeeey. I have no Nazi tendencies! Overstated? You bet! Who can I tell all this to but you, my blog saviors?

McAnal and I have been discussing more than before but he spent his entire day on all planning. DUDE! It's Sunday. C-h-i-L-L. I can actually see the spirit of his father overtaking all the qualities I fell in love with and turning into (his dad) an overbearing dictator type. If I wanted Victor Chavez, I would have married Victor Chavez.

I never just said that, K?

Warning: the following paragraph is called sarcasm. Remember that most sarcasm has a bit of truth in it...(evil grin).

School: Hamlet. What a delightful portrayal of a dysfuctional family! Holy moly frijoles! Let's slaughter everyone at the end. Kinda like Saw II but much longer.
Can't wait to watch a movie version. Who doesn't like the protagonist to be a misogynist who's also a crazy/nut/whackjob who obsesses over death and corpses and his mother sex life??? It's just another Brady Bunch....if you're on meth and hallucinating badly.

I think algebra will be terrific break from the drama of Hamlet and my moving. Who knew I would find math to be a calming influence? Kate! Does this mean I need to be institutionalized?

Whine Fest Saturday

I have no idea what's going on with me. I feel weepy/antsy/irritable/ jaw clenched. I don't feel very nice or very well right now and I can't figure it out.

I did not make it to the caucus and Obama won by a landslide. woo. hoo. The man has totally ignored all female democrats from the age of 30-on. That antagonizes me. Call me sensitive but my generation of women are the ones who vote the most! Don't ignore us oh friend of Oprah.

We had a comedy(actually an aggravedy) of errors and I ended up alone at the chick flick 27 Dresses and now Geo and BBB are at the movies. Don't ask.

We are moving. We have rented a lovely cookie cutter house in a safe, normal, BBB knows 58 kids there, neighborhood. Kinda like all the 'hoods I have grown up in. 4 bedroom, 2.5 bathroom, 2 car garage with opener, no asshole landlord, no Lake Janice, no black mold. There is light coming in the windows, 2 stories, a family room, eating nook, formal(kinda small it seemed to me but what do I know?) dr/lr. I am excited about having a garage, more than one bathroom, a kitchen with appliances from this decade, a woodburning fireplace that works with no rodents in residence.

I am a little hesitent because it's about 4 doors down from a family we know through baseball and church and the husband(who's a dick to be blunt) has told me to my face (at church no less)that he dislikes me and doesn't want me anyhwere near his wife. Yeah. Deal with that. I almost want to paint a big picture of a face with tongue sticking out in the side of the house that points towards his house. His wife is one of the sweetest people on earth and has no idea he has said anything to me. AWKWARD. The hub and I plan on walking away from that direction when the weather gets better and we go walking every night.

We will be renting from a guy we know from church and several families in this neighborhood go to the same church. We haven't been in awhile but I'd like to start going again. I think this house fell into my lap because it is a part of God's plan. It happened exactly at the right time(the day after our idjit landlord told Geo if we did not like it here (long story) we were welcome to move). W/in 36 hours after that edict we gave notice. SPIKE! IN his face. Told ya I'm feeling bitchy.

I've been having tons of lower back pain and spotting and cramps. I do believe it's my fibroid causing issues and maybe a cervical polyps or two. What this means is that I need to hit the damn gyn. 4 months before my annual. Damnit. I have no time for any of this. I have algebra, Hamlet, BBB, McHub, packing, (Geo and I have not been civil during a move since we moved in together in 8/86),cleaning, blahblahblah. Someone tell me. When do I get less stress? At death? Oh and I'm waiting to hear from nursing program in next 2-3 weeks.

Let's see, anything else. Oh yeah. My youngest living child turned 17 today and he has the week after next off school for President's Week. I feel old. And sad cuz Bren would be 12 turning 13 next month and I feel like he's my youngest.

Addendum to teen friend drama: A girl or two are involved. That is why K was acting so weird. My son was up last night talking to a girl past 2 a.m.. I kept telling him to be quiet, I'd drift off and then I'd hear his very deep voice and awake I was again.

It's my life and I can cty/whine/angst if I want to. :P

Friendship From A Teen Boy's Mom's POV

The other day we visited the grocery store with our 16(until tomorrow!)yo son. Our teen was in a very good mood. We glanced at one another wondering why our son would be in a good mood. Usually he is sullen, grunty and eyes us like we are smelly fish.
Seriously, weren't you ever 16? I used to give my mom the fish eye everytime she asked me to clean my room, she used to ask me about 567 times a day. Lots of fish eyes!

16 yo is prancing along the aisles. That is not as effeminate as it sounded. He's ALL boy, trust me. He's making fun of me~which he does when he's in a good mood. Why? Because he thinks he's darn funny! I have no clue where he got that idea. Certainly not from me.

He begins to tell us his plans for the weekend as he will be able to attend R rated movies legally as of 2-9-08. He LOVES telling me that. Puleazzzzzzze, kid's been watching r-rated movies ever since I allowed him to have friends with parents I did not do background checks on.

He mentioned a very pricey Chinese resatuarant all the way into downtowm Seattle for Friday night. Obviously, he forgot how ancient his parents are. We don't like to go into the city in a Friday night, besides McHub is usually snoring by 8p.m..

Next he mentions a dance at the ever wonderful high school, which is full of snobby rich kids, many kids who were born in other countries and the kids who ditch school after 1st period.

Joy, I thought.

I asked, "Tolo?" (Tolo is a traditional Local hs dance where the girls ask the guys and the couples dress alike. We called this Sadie Hawkins back in the Stone Age.)

He snorts at me. "Tolo's in December. Ch'uhhhhhhh." Eye rolling commences. From both of us.

I looked at him lovingly.(snort) "Silly me. OLOT?" (Which is Tolo spelled backwards. This is a dance where kids go in groups dressed alike with *fun* names like "Rock With Our C***s Out.")

"Hmmmmmmmmmm yeah Olat."

"You going with girls?"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. The Gang." He looks at me as if I had just sprouted grapefruit from my nose.

I glance at McHub. He's looking at the ceiling pretending he doesn't know us. Again.

"Ahem. The Gang? Who's the Gang? K? $? %%?"

"MooOOOOOoom! You know, the gang! Fred, Barney, Goofus, Beetle Bailey, Opus and K."

"Oh yeah, them. How could I forget?" These are various and random boys teen has known since preschool. Let's see........that's 14 years ago. Of course I remember each and every kid he's ever been in school with.

End of convo.

Yesterday he comes in from school when I was in the bathroom so I did not hear him. All of a sudeen I hear---"MOM!"

I jumped 4 feet. Nothing like a good scare to get your heart revved. I highly recommend it over exercise. ;)

" Didn't buy my dance ticket. The gang kicked out me, Fred and Opus at lunch. I tried to ask why but they just told me to F off." Kid is peeved. Don't blame him.

"K? too?"

"Yes, he's such an ass! I didn't get a ride home with him. He is a (*&%^%^*!"

"Sorry Buddy. That really sucks. What's his prob?"

Kid already immersed in comp game so no answer. McHub gets home 30 minutes later and I fill him in. He was upset, this is the second time K has done this lately. They have known each other for 12 years but have been really close since 7-8th grades. Except for 6 months last year.

2 hours Later~~~~~~

"Hey Mom, is it ok if I go hang with K?"

I look at him with wide eyes. "Really? Um, I suppose." Hmmm, I didn't notice when the earth flipped on it's axis. Dang! You think I would have felt that!

Tiff over. I have no idea how or if it was resolved. Kid left.

I am so delighted I will never have to attend high school ever again.

Thursday 13: Why I Am Beginning to Like Algebra

I am as surprised at the rest of ya'll. Me? Like the dreaded evil dark power algebra? 13 Reasons why I am going toward the Dark Side.......(math being dark/eng.,ss being the light)

1. You can use alebra to figure out things you need to know like what the real interest is on your credit card debt! It's very cool. I can also explain why those "No payments for 3 years" are cons and why you should never ever do them!

2. I can now calculate out how fast two airplanes, one going south, one going west,and with the distance as a constant(plain ol' number) and the fact one plane is X faster than the other, I can find the mph each plane is going with the Pythagorean Theorem and the quadratic formula. Not that I care about the speed of said airplane but hey, ya never know when that info may come in handy.

3. I can factor linear equations and quadratic equations. It just sounds smart, KWIM?

4. I'm not ripping my hair out at the roots in frustration this week.

5. I can also graph parabolas, lines, assymtopes and other really groovy shapes. My vocabulary has grown too.

6. I can assess profit margin and what you should price your product at and how much profit is possible. Dayam! My Mama would be so proud.(wiping away single tear on cheek)

7. I operate my graphing calculator with more ease and don't feel like a moron when I need to use it. Good benefit.

8. The scary girl who sits next to me in class has the most intrigueing life any 18yo anywhere, anyhow! Plus she's scary smart and helpful too! :)

9. I don't mind being the oldest person in class because I am actually paying attention to the teacher. Yeah, for reals.

10. My teacher teaches us everything as real life applications and dumbs it down to my level.

11. I now know I will use algebra in my future life and not just for my next math class!!

12. My teacher is really awesome and very nice and very forgiving. Gotta love the guy even if he is a math teacher!

13. I understand things I did not believe I could ever understand even last quarter taking the same class, very different teachers!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOHOO! I can do algebra 2!~

Conclusion: at age 45 I can do what your average 15/17 yo can do in high school math!

thursday 13

The Special Moments of Living With Teenagers

...when you politely remind your 16yo it's time to be off the computer, he sneers and throws his headphones off the table. Dramatic? Hell, yeah. (Where's the Emmy Nominating Committee?)

...when you suggest maybe his headaches are not just post concussive syndrome but could be related to computer usage times..."You have no idea what you're talking about! You're hurting my head more!"(He guessed my evil plan, shucks.)

...your 19yo is all about being independent until he comes down with a nasty case of strep and decides to wake you at 7:30a.m. Sunday morning to let you know it's worse. You cannot imagine my exhileration about the fact he still needs me. Yah. Shore.

...waiting in the Urgent Care Sunday morning with 30 other sick people. Having taken microbiology I am acutely aware of the exponential rates bacteria grows at. I wanted to get up and bleach everyone! It took all my will power not to do this.

...trying to monitor 19yo's use of vicodin, I think most of ya know the~if one pill's good then 3 must be awesome school of thought.

...the sound of stomping feet at least once a day.

...loud, racist,sexist, foul mouthed rap music until you insist he turn it off or put his headphones on. The look that could slice me into pieces is a priceless teenager skill.

...crude comments. Girls. farts, commercials, you name it they can make a crude comment about it. It's special boy teenager talent.

...random outbursts of misdirected anger 5-7 times a week. Isn't he so cute when he's angry? NOT, KNOT, NOTT.

...having every comment you make argued with/against.

...a constant issue of missing food. I go to look for something and POOF! it's gone.

...the never ending sound of texting and/or vibrating phones.

...they only listen when they want to, oh wait! That's all males, isn't it? My Bad.

...they are always somewhere you want to be, ie. the one bathroom, the kitchen table, in the same house. You toddlers mommys think you have no alone time? Neither do the mothers of teens w/o driver's licenses.

...the pungent aroma of AX shower gel. (No girl with smell receptors could like this crap.)

...the pungent aroma of feet, among other things.

...Random accusations. "Did you take my _________? I can't find and I know I put it here, what did you do with it?" Are you kidding son? I don't clean anywhere! Even for you!

...that vacant stare when they have their iPods on or they just woke up.

Firsts, Lasts and Heads or Tails

It's Tuesday, time for that ever popular Tuesday meme created by Barb at Skittles Place. Barb also does an excellent job of creating the topics and not smacking me for bending the rules as often as I do. I love ya Barb!

The topic(s) today are Firsts or Lasts.

When I ponder my life certain things pop into my sieve of brain when I think of the word: Firsts

The first thing that comes to mind when I hear the word first is first kiss. Funny thing is I'm not sure who was my first kiss, nor do I remember it at all therefore it sucked. Otherwise I would remember. Yeah, flaky logic but it works for me.

The first time I needed stitches is when I was 3 years old and the vicious little brat, that was the only girl around to play with, hit my hand with a part of a thorny rose branch. The branch was just lying around cuz the big boys(My brother,6 and various other ruffians) had ripped the bush apart being stupid boys. I remember this girl's name as being Lori, but I could be wrong. Lori grabbed the bush branch and started swinging it around like right into my head so my hand went up in defense. A thorn lodged so deeply into the webbing between my thumb and forefinger it was off to the doctor for us. (By the way, I was screaming my head off at the sight of blood! I did not care Grandma was visiting! That brat just made me bleed and I needed to go punch her~hard!) This is also the first time I felt completely betrayed by someone.

First date with my he's-the-one-I-want-to-marry-but-just-won't-know-it-for-another-week: We met at a close to where I lived parking lot(Don't want the cookoos to know where I lived)and he drove. We double-dated with a tennis pal of his and a gal who was also a teaching tennis pro like McHub. We saw the movie "Legal Eagles"(sucked) so we kinda held hands and flirted and scooched down on our seats and played "kneesies" and I let him put his arm around me, tee-hee and you get the giddy "DAYAM! He's Hawt and He's with ME feeling".

First time I was aware of the fact that parenting can really suck: the first night home from the hospital with oldest, the first time McHub went on a two week business trip and it was just me and baby, the first night home with second baby when McDumb fell asleep 20 minutes after we got home and there was BPB needing dinner and wondering who the hell the new kid was, the baby wanted to nurse and I was getting engorged for the first time(YEEOW!).

First time I felt how awesome creating a human was: when I was pregnant with BBB. I was cranky and never felt fabulous while pregnant with BPB.

First time I felt unconditional love for someone: The day after BPB was born and I had stopped throwing up. ;)
heads or tails

It's All In Your Perspective

A dear friend reminded today that everything in life is how you view it. You can view it through a filter of hope, a dark lens of unhappiness and/or anger, a grey lens of depression and hopelessness or you can view it through my warped and twisted Lens of Humor and Dark Satire. Just call me Jonathan Swift. Hehe.

We can see our lives as if we are surrounded by the bars of inability, the restraints we put on ourselves mistakenly assuming we cannot do some task, the self-limiting fears we live with that we mostly choose. (Except anxiety etc. That sometimes it is out of control and maybe, just maybe, it's all right to let go for a few moments.)

Or we can ignore those bars and have our friends remind us that we are strong enough to pull those bars apart and sneak out to our real world. The world where we can succeed with faith and attitude and self-belief and with the encouragment of the special people who know just when you need an encouraging word, comment or e-mail.

One way that helps me is helping others. Tipping the snack bar lady a dollar instead of 40 cents. Paying for the coffee of the person behind you in line. Smiling with openess and not suspicion at someone down on their luck. Bug Bunny cartoons used to have a comic Humphrey Bogart(very scruffy early 1930's unshaven look. Dang, Don Johnson before the writers of Miami Vice were even born!) walking through various cartoons asking, "Buddy, can you spare a dime for a guy down on his luck?" This was a common phrase in the Depression and Warner Brothers took it even further reminding the audience that there were always someone out there who could use a dime.

I try very hard to remind myself I am one lucky girl. I have people in this world who love me(maybe not thousands but enough), some people even like me and they're not even related to me(shock and awe), I am healthy, I am fairly bright, I am dang funny now and again, I have a roof over my head and a working heater, I have food to eat, I have a rubber doll hubby who's very fun to play with when the kids leave, my kids are healthy, we are together, I am basically being paid to go to school even if January sucked, I could go on.

What do you do to resume your perspective? I like random acts of kindness....YOU?

I Hope...

I have become a person my grandmother would have been proud of. My Grandmother R died a few hours before Brennan on 2/2/96. She was 84. My grandmother was Hungarian with a capital H. From speaking the language(even thought she was born in the US)to cooking the food to sayings she had learned growing up in a mainly Hungarian area of Pennsylvania. Around the United States there are enclaves of people who have immigrated here at some point. Hamtramak, near Deatroit, MI is mainly Polish. Skokie, Illinois is Jewish and Polish. There are areas here in Washington State that are Hmong, Vietnamese, Unkrainian and Punjabi. Every state has their immigrant areas. Even Massachusetts has folks left over from the Mayflower immigration, wink.

The United States is the sum of its people. Even as diversity can cause strife and political infighting, it also causes the "spice" That makes America the truly great country that it has become.

I have no idea what my grandmother would have wanted me to be besides married and have kids and be happy. My grandmother, who would put five dollars in my birthday card every year until she died. My grandmother, who lived so far away I tended to forget her and how she loved me just because I was the daughter of her son. The son who didn't stay in the neighborhood, the son who did not become a steelworker, her only son. I know she loved my dad. I don't know if he became what she had hoped for or not.

He was THE son. Big deal with European based families. I had 3 brothers, yet I think my grandma and I got along better as I did not run 98mph all over her house.

Grandma's house with the lamps that had fringe on them that were older than I. Or they had nubby glass globes on them, I thought they were so cool, my mother thought cheap. People work with what they have. My mother had lived as a married woman for a year with my dad's parents..........left a bad taste in my Canadian/ English/ Scottish mother's mouth. I wasn't there. I know that was one of the longest years of my mother's life.

My mother died a year after Grandma and Brennie. I think losing Brennie broke what was left of my mother's will. She could not even say his name after he died. It was her worst nightmare and it happened to her daughter. I, honestly, don't know what my mom thought of how I dealt. I think she was proud and amazed at what she perceived as my strength. A strength she never never felt she had(Where did I get it from?).

My grandmother is happy in heaven with Brennie, the girl twin my cousin lost 2 months before Brennie died, my grandfather, my cousins, second cousins etc. My mother is out of pain(she had severe RA. Mom believed in reincarnation, I used to tease her about becoming a criscket. She'd laugh and say, "Watch how high a cricket can jump without pain...."