Saturday, May 31, 2008

We Seem To Have a New Pet

We were hanging out one day and noticed a squirrel on our deck. The squirrel could see us through the window and came closer. He came about 4 feet from the window(slider). He sat and watched us like we were expected to make the next move.

McHub was astonished.

"Do you think he wants something to eat?"

"DUH! They must have fed him often."

"O-kay let's find something to feed him", McHub enthused.

"Can you say rabies?" I asked.

I was ignored as McHub rustled through the pantry. He found some nuts in trail mix.
He threw them out on the deck and we watched as the squirrel, no fool he, gobbled up the food as quickly as possible.

McHub was enchanted. I was less so.

"DO NOT feed him from your hand, K?, Rabies shots suck."

At the very moment McHub stuck his tongue out at me, behind him the squirrel stuck his tongue out too.

Men.

Friday, May 30, 2008

How To Measure My Mark On The World?



What have a I done in 46 years that will leave an impression on the world when I'm gone?

a)I had 2 children who will hopefully choose good over evil someday.

b)I think my little family left a mark on Children's Medical Center of Seattle when we were in and out with Brennie. We were complimented on our devotion as parents. To me devotion and support goes with parenting but that's not a society wide sentiment. Some medical personnel were changed by our interaction with them.

c)I think we left a mark on our community by sharing Brennan and his illness. People across the world prayed for him, thereby touching them.

d)I hope I left a mark on at least one child I taught at 6 years of Vacation Bible School, thou I will never know for sure.

e)By being proactive I think I left a tiny mark on the growth of information(particularly online) about rare diseases and mitochondrial diseases and how they affect the afflicted child and his/her family.

f)By being a contact person for Alper's Disease I pray I helped fellow families touched by this disease.

Honestly, I don't think I've done much else but self-centered actions. I don't know if I've made a true difference in anyone's life or made anyone a better person because they know me. In fact, I've most likely corrupted more people than I have helped.

I have a strong personality. People either like me or they don't, or they don't get me(I refuse to explain myself if I haven't been offensive). That's ok. If people don't like me I have learned not to be bothered by their dislike. I can't please everyone.

In my past 3 years in school I've annoyed more people because I am too curious, I ask too many questions and people just want to get out of class. I have learned to only ask appropriate questions during class. This may save my ass during nusring school.

This isn't about depression just inrospection...I was thinking if I died tomorrow there would only be 3 people who'd notice and I think my 17yo would throw a party. If I try really hard I could have maybe 20 people at a memorial service. )People in the area not online, no one would know online I'd just vanish cuz no one can get into my laptop).

Does this mean I have to work harder?

Or is it more important for my actions to be remembered?

What do you think?

Thursday, May 29, 2008

My Energy Has Fled My Body

On my way to take a shower today, I stopped to put a bra in the dryer. I then went upstairs and lay down for the 5 minutes it would take my bra to dry.

I awoke four hours later. WTF? I was tired but fours hours worth of tired?

I've been low energy all week but I've been eating and taking my vitamins and anti-biotics. What's the deal?

Yesterday I made it to algebra class but came home and took a 2 hours nap. It would have been a longer nap but someone woke me up.

My eyelids feel loaded with lead.

I take B-12, B complex, flaxseed oil.

My head feels like there is extra AIR whsitling through it.

What is going on?

I still cannot believe I slept through algebra the day before a quiz!!

I'm even going to bed for 1 a.m. which is completely out of character.

NO! I am not pregnant. Any other bright ideas my Einsteins?

YAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

My Eclectic Taste

A Botttle from etsy.com which is the perfect turquoise.

A cobalt blue round bottle to integrate my blues.


The Bottles on the window sill. I adore glass art.


More of the shelves and what's on them.


Sparkle fish one pic of two.


Turtle and batik colored cloth


Shells from my parent's meeting on Bermuda.


More etsy.com bling.


Glass art from etsy.com


Wall between kitchen/family room. Sign says Reasoning with teens is like herding cats!


Sign pointing the way.

Signs quotes Ephesians: Lve is Patient, Love is kind....

More blooms in backyard.


A surprise clematis that needs to be trellised.


Surpise find...Johnny Jump Ups at edge of deck!!

One of my favorite survivor flowers!!!!!

Monday, May 26, 2008

A Gift to Those of Us With IQs Over 70

Cable Television. I have been watching it off and on all weekend. Caught some very interesting small budget movies on Encore. Irish Jam was funny and sweet. About a black rapper who wins an Irish Pub in a small Irish village. Amusing. Interesting. No gratuitous sex or violence or foul language. I quite enjoyed it.

USA channel had a marathon Mike Logan Law & Order: Criminal Intent Marathon yesterday. Chris Noth is a good actor and cute. I caught two episodes I had not seen before. I love this show. It was odd and strange when it first began. Now I find clever and funny and harder to figure out that most cop shows.

Food Network and Guy on Drive-Ins, Diners and Dives takes us to diners all over the country. We don't really have diners here in the Seattle area. Not the kind I remember from the East Coast and the Midwest. This show if charming, funny, and makes me hongry for some good diner food. There is one fabulous diner on I-90 on the way to Lake Chelan. Best chicken fettuccine ever!!

The International History channel has some great documentaries on interesting world history. I have learned stuff watching this channel. On the science channel I learned all about lead and the many uses of it in our lives. I also learned about copper. Hey, I am a trivia geek I love this stuff.

ESPN HD. We watched the NCAA super regional softball playoff games the past 2 weekends. Not as much fun as college world series which is on next weekend I think. Or starts then, it takes several weeks to get to the finals. Oregon State has won the past two years in a row!

E! Entertainment channel has the very amusing Talk Soup show. They rank on talk shows better than anyone else.

Caught the movie Purple Rain on VH1 late last night and just listened to the excellent sound track as I hung out online. 1984 was a very good year for Prince songs.

New L&I: Criminal Intents coming in June. New The Closer coming in July. Yeah, yeah I like cop shows. Other new and original programming through the summer. I would not watch any tv this summer if it weren't for cable.

I keep tv on in the background when I'm online usually. I do not sit here and just watch tv 18 hours a day. Heh. Not that much of a couch potato. I have also been reading this weekend, catching up on my National Geographic magazines, a book I'm into, the newspaper which I haven't read in months. Even did some cleaning yesterday. Shocking I know!! I vacuumed and dusted and tidied up the family room and the kitchen. As much as I detest cleaning I do like the results. Wood floors need to cleaned more often that carpet. Otherwise, the dust bunnies will eat us!!

It's been a pleasant low energy weekend. Just what I needed as I am still healing from the nasty sinus infection and my stress levels have been much lower that I expected. It's been lovely.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Metaphorically Teenage

Photo courtesy of National Geographic.com




I was cruisin' the 'net last night and I came across this picture. For some odd reason, this picture of baby alligators reminded me of teenagers.

Yes, I did take my meds. Jeesh! You people are a rough audience. My 4 readers are tough cookies. Shut it for a minute please, give me leave to play with this...

Baby alligators have sharp teeth, teens have sharp brains and little control of what comes out of their mouths. I remember saying the very thing that would wound my mother the most. With pleasure I did this for years. I was horrid, just absolutely horrid. Which is why I am thankful God did not gift me with girls.

Cuz payback's a bitch and my boys are hard on my emotions more than enough! Boys or most boys don't have the ability to twist the knife quite as deftly as girls. We feamles go for the jugular. Am I right ladies? Ya huh I am(nodding my head in agreement).

Back to my metaphor or perhaps it is a similie on baby alligators and teenagers.

Baby alligators snap their teeth at anything near them. Their goal, after all, is to eat anything and everything that will help them grow up big and large and become independent. If a sibling gets in the way, they SNAP. Harshly, loudly and nastily. They try to gnaw through their sibling's exterior to get to the good stuff.

Just like my youngest make makes nasty, raunchy, hurtful comments to his older brother. Older brother ignores younger one because he has learned a modicum of restraint.

Baby alligators are not mothered. They have no ties to whomever birthed(yeah, yeah, laid their eggs) them.

Teenagers pretend they have no attachments to their mothers. In their hurry to grow up and grab the world for themselves, they sometimes knock over their mothers in the process. One or two may look back in empathy but most teens will just barrel along.

This picture of of the two hungry, dangerous, and flinty looking alligators reminded me of my sons.

See, I do still have a sense of humor. Snicker.

Friday, May 23, 2008

WHY Is My Teenager So STUPID?

This kid is driving me insane. He's flunking chemistry and English. He cannot graduate without 4 years of English. He needs a math replacement class for next year to graduate. Like technical drafting or engineering and design. Does he go to his counselor? NO. Does she respond to my emails NO.

Kid thinks he's smarter than everyone. If he flunks English he will be in summer school. If he's in summer school he cannot go on his baseball trip. He doesn't seem to make this connection.

He does not hear a word I say. He tries not to hear me. He knows the graduation requirements but somehow those rules don't apply to him.

He doesn't need to do homework. Nope, he's too smart to do homework.

Lord help me. I'm gonna have another drop out on my hands.

How am I going to monitor this next year while I'm in the nursing program?

When I try to inflict penalties his father overrules me or expects me to police the kid 24/7 like he is not 1/2 the kid's DNA. It sucks. It really really sucks. I have no idea what to do.

I just emailed the head of the counselors as my son's counselor is clueless and avoids my emails or since the kid doesn't speak up assumes he gets it.

THE KID DOESN'T GET IT!

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Algebra is The Handiwork of The Devil





I'm taking this asinine class for the third time. I missed class Wednesday and today as I've been in percocet and this girl does not drive under the influence of anything. I have a quiz tomorrow but I missed the lection on inverse and joint variation. ARGH.

If I cannot get the 2.0 in this class I am giving up math. Screw the AA for now. I refuse to take this class 4 times in a row. I just freakin' refuse.

One test next week and final left. Why do they do this to us? Jump through hoops on fire?

He's Not Always Evil

My husband did something sweet today. Shocking, I know. He cleaned up the kitchen including dishwasher and recycling which are usually issues for him. When he got home at 11a.m.(no work) he was like no school?

Dude I'm stoned on percocet. Better not drive my cute little Honda(which was my Mother's Day Present 2 years ago. That's why I was surprised by no card this year.)

I was left alone and he went upstairs. I got to take a nap until dramaking slammed his way in the door after school.

He's not a nurturer but once in awhile he comes through.

Now I need to figure out my algebra quiz tomorrow. I was hoping the teacher would email me the review sheet but she didn't. Sigh. C'est la vie.

Thanks to the brilliant Margalit

Thanks to my friend and collegue Margalit of What Was I thinking? I remembered I had backed up my blog with a freebie blog backer. 50 of my previous posts from Twist & Skewer will return every day.

I have a new gig at Mid Century Modern Moms. I'll be the Monday writer. Except next Monday. Please check out the site which is all about parenting teens and the complexities and emotional issues that go along with raising teens. There are 6 other fabulous writers to read.

Margalit you're my hero today. :)

Technorati Profile

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Blurbs From My Brain



Went to clinic for antibioitcs and narcotics. My mind is medicated. Good thing. My pain is down to a 4 from a 7. Much more managable.

Let's bow our heads in sorrow of the death of Twist & Skewer. Best title evah. Even some good writing. Some day I may forgive the selfish bastards. Maybe.

I wish I could leave for the weekend but it would cause more issues than is worth it. I'd be spending money wastefully. I'd hear about that for years. My so-in-denial-spouse would want to know why. My kids, eh, would not really notice or care.
I'll find a way to get out of house for as long as possible.

I am reading a very good book called The Friday Night Knitting Club. Women supporting women. Good stuff, interesting and I can pretend I'm part of the fun. So happy for books.

New tv tonight and tomorrow. I have 3 weeks of House on dvr. If I watch it at once I may go into a Hugh Laurie coma~that would be fun.(rowr)

Have a nice day folks. I'm off to nap. Before the hoards reurn.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Is It Awful?

Is it awful of me to cringe when I realized this weekend had 3 days instead of two? I am angry at my husband and my dramaboy. I've been blogging for over 18 months and they decide to not want to me "out there" now?

I am damned peeved. There are three people less than 100 feet from me who don't give a damn if I have a definition of who I am or not. In fact, I can say with confidence, they will never care.

I'm 46 years old. I immersed myself in the mother/wife/nurturer role for 18 years. That was my first mistake. Not keeping a self without my children and husband. I did not realize I had lost who I was until my boys turned into teens and began to wrench themselves away from me as fast and unflinchingly as they could. That's their job. I just wasn't aware how that would hurt me. It's broken my heart several times. They have no clue and being male I doubt they will ever understand.

My husband, never one for introspection, thinks I should be fulfilled by cleaning the house and becoming an organized person. Like hell I say! Like hell! I won't be defined by the degree of grunge on my kitchen floor.

I used to be a real person. Not someone's mom, someone's wife, someone's daughter. I have had a history of harming myself by screwing things up instead of succeeding. I was an angry, furious 16yo when my parents forced me to move 2000 from my comfort zone and my dreams. My dreams weren't very developed but they did involve going to University of Michigan. That could not happen when I was a resident of California.

The anger and pain shimmered off me in waves. I was not aware of how much others could see the fury and anguish inside of me. Someone I was in the Youth Conservation Corps(summer of 1979 when I was 17) mentioned it to me. I honestly did not know I came off as a snotty bitch who was much too good for the California folk. I was most likely thinking that but I did not it showed.

I think since 16 I was angry, anguished, melodramatic, self-loathing and unhappy.
That set up for a self destructive relationship in college which resulted in my not graduating because I did not deserve to do well at school. Yadda yadda yadda.

I am not exactly sure who I am now except the woman who doesn't want to spend 3 days with her aggravating husband and her self-centered teenagers. Why not just stick my head in a vise and keep tightening the screw.

Is that awful?

Time for a Short Recess

PAIN
My sinus infection from 5 weeks ago never gave up the ghost. I now have have a raging sinus infection running rampant through every sinus cavity in my head. JOY.
It's been quite painful. It's getting worse and light makes it hurt more.
Therefore I am retiring my laptop for the evening. Sorry I haven't responded to anyone yet.
I'll most likely hit a clinic tomorrow because this is getting in the way of reading, blogging,
doing algebra, tolerating any amount of noise.

Have a fabulous Wednesday!
I'll be back soon.

Monday, May 19, 2008

So You Want to Be A Nurse? Part II

(future nurse)



I am about to walk into the abyss. I have until Sept. 22, 2208 before my days and nights will belong to someone else. It's called nursing school and one must be totally committed to achieve to succeed. Kiss my spare time good-bye in 4 months, give or take a few days.


Here is my schedule for fall. I'll be taking everything except Nursing 100 which I will complete summer quarter.


Nursing
NURSE 100 Nutrition (5)
Prerequisite: AP 103 or 205 with a grade of 2.3 or above; and instructor’s
permission. Additional fee of $10.00. (NR)
6611 A Short J SC-134 Daily 11a-12p


F NURSE 101 Introduction-Computers-Nursing (1)
Instructor’s permission required. See instructor for entry code. Additional
fee of $10.00. (NR)
6619 A Palmer E SC-137 M 2-3p
6623 B Palmer E SC-137 Th 2-3p


F NURSE 102 Intro To Clin Pharmacolo (3)
Instructor’s permission required. See instructor for entry code.
6627 A SC-134 MThF 1-2p
FLEX Course
F NURSE 102 Intro To Clin Pharmacolo (3)
Instructor’s permission required. See instructor for entry code. Students
will be required to utilize the Internet and Web site as a means of
communication. Seminars will be held on campus. Visit: www.greenriver.
edu/elearning. Additional fee of $10.50. (NR)
6631 DE SC-134 MTh 1-2p


F NURSE 104 Nursing 1-Fundamentals (6)
Prerequisite: Completion of pre-admission requirements.
6635 A Ryland M SC-134 MThF 9-11a
Ryland M SC-134 MThF 9-11a
6639 B Palmer E SC-137 MThF 9-11a


F NURSE 105 Community Lab 1 (4)
Prerequisite: Concurrent enrollment in NURSE 104 and instructor’s
permission. Additional fee of $20.00. (NR)
6643 A Ryland M SC-134 T 7a-3p
6647 B Ryland M SC-134 W 7a-3p
6651 C Trott H SC-137 T 7a-3p
6655 D Trott H SC-137 W 7a-3p


F NURSE 116 Issues And Delivery Systems (3)
Prerequisite: NURSE 104.
6659 A Short J SC-134 MThF 8-8:50a


I'll thank you for any and all prayers for more IQ points in my head, a much improved memory, an inherent skill for all these classes and concepts, a generous and caring heart towards my fellow 31 students in the nursing program.


I'll be sucking down lots of unrelated books all summer before I have to buckle down, nose to the grindstone, lose any type of life... :).

Sunday, May 18, 2008

My "New" Hangout Updated

Welcome To My Place
This is the front~follow the sidewalk to the door.

Hi. Like my rhody under my cherry tree?


The kitchen is being used. HA!


A view into the family/mine/beachy/water room.


One wall on family room. Real seastars and picture of sea star and sand dollar bookending.


My shower curtain curtains, my table with a glass bottle and drift wood and a mug. Big white thing~a/c.


From etsy.com. This is original glasswork windchimes hanging in family room.

Hard to see but the big thing is the candle my son and I made on Mother's Day. Next to it candles shaped like flips flops.


The very cute shower curtain hangers in shape pf beach umbrellas, balls and flip flops.


The last project I ever "Helped" BPB with. He glued, I did the rest. Bad Mommy. Got an A, wink.


The flowers along the middle of my back yard next to fence. Tulips and azaleas.


It's not a Washington backyard with out evergreen trees.


The middle backyard from a distance.


MY lilacs right outside the dining room window.

Go Here and Here to see the house before we moved in.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Heat, Headaches and Heartburn



Look at that nice cool clear water. Oh I cannot describe how much I wish I were in that water, alone. Floating. No pressure. Even less graviry pulling at me. Just floating in the clear blue cool soothing water.

Yeah, I feel like running away. Or floating away. It was 92 degrees here today. I detest heat, unless I'm in water.

Heat gives me headaches. Even with the room a/c going full blast I managed to get a headache.

After spending most of my day in this room just looking at my spouse gave me heartburn~mentally. Every little thing was annoying the heck out of me.

Everytime I said something McIrksome didn't like I got the "You're so stupid and annoying look." Back at cha babe 1000% Because it was 92 degrees out and we only have one room with a/c I felt more trapped than normal.

My FIL used to creep me out bigtime. Watching McIck kept reminding me of FIL. URGH. Really a bad thing. So me being me I mentioned a noise Hub kept making that sounded exactly like his dad. I said it reminded me of his dad and that was not a good thing. The mature response: "Then I won't do anything! You want me to not do anything? Wah wah wah wah."

OMG. How the hell did I end up here? Today or this past week makes me wonder how I came to be sitting here with someone who made me to scream and never stop until the men in the white coats brought my straight jacket and some some killer tranqs and took me away to my rubber room with Mozart playing?

Ever feel that way?

I know it's the heat, the boys being teenage boys and not doing what they were asked to do, the recent happenings, the price of gasoline and food and bills.

Ya know what? I think I'll blame all of this on GWBush! That's the ticket.

Friday, May 16, 2008

I Would Adore Input From My Blogfamily!!

Warning: Delicate subject. Post rated PG 13. If you know me personally we'll just pretend I never ever wrote this but stole it from elsewhere.


Tired as I am of Viva V**** commercials and bath tubs set in the outdoors, I am wondering about something.

You all know what "Little blu* pil*" is? You all know what it is used for. What I am concerned about is my 9 years older than me DH. I am going to call this issue "PF". If you need to know what that stands for email me. ;)

Someone I know has had PF issues recently. I don't know what to think. Is it cuz he's old?

Is it cuz I'm rilly oogley? Or chubby? Got a great rack.

Now that I discovered geezo spots and multiple organics I get super anxious to get some fruit, KWIM?

I'm talking bananas not grapes folks. Grapes just don't make the grade. Seriously.

There was no issue at all until a month or so ago, maybe 2 months, and I want to know how normal or abnormal PF is in 55yo males.

Anyone have any comments based on pretend(snerk) experience, have at it. Message my board up. Hmmm, that sounded almost sexual............see what happens when one doesn't have the proper fruit every morning?

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Moms Of Teenagers Who Blog!!



Let's Get Together! Here's a list of Moms of Teenagers who Blog!

You can thank me later(snerk).

Help! I Have A Teenager!~funny,sarcastic,irreverent my favorite kind of blogger!

Just My Life She tells us all the things the irritate about her teen, her pre-teen and just about everyone else!

Mid-Century Modern Moms a group of women writers who write about life with teens and all the issues that go along with teens.

Suburban Scrawl~a funny mom who's raising two teenage boys.

A Life of Triggers~a friend of mine who's raising 3 teenage girls, two with mood disorders. My oldest has a mood disorder so we can relate!

Flutterby Me Garden raising two teens and homeschooling and is sarcastic as well.

And ME of course. I blog about my life but my two teenage boys are a huge part of that and I adore their snotty attitudes, their extreme self-centeredness, the 17yo's need for sneakers once a month, the 19yo's girlfriend and their need for sex, my husband who was never a normal American teenager...I was normal, American, snotty, fun and silly. I still am fun and silly, just in a much misused body(My teenagers and hubby destroyed my body in a plot to populate the world with more males!)

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Superb Support and Fabulous Friends



You are the best friends and the most supportive pals I have. HUGS.

Thank you very much for the comments on my previous post. Every time I think, maybe just maybe this marriage will work out, some event or comment turns on my alert warning tone. You know one of those BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP warning, there may be a serious problem here.

Being married 21.6 years we've been through good and bad, insensitivity and overly sensitive reactions. I spent the first 8 years trying to be the wife I thought McHub wanted. We were so busy with moves and career changes, a miscarriage, 2 baby boys and then another miscarriage. We'd lived in 5 different abodes in 2 states, rented and bought and sold.

I met McHub In March 1986, started dating/living together in July 1986 and we married in December 1986. He was 33 and I was 24. It was like walking into the deep end of a pool with a blindfold and no floaties.

Who knew the fact he was born in the Netherlands and became a naturalized citizen at 9yo and the fact I was born in NJ, heart of revolutionary history, to a Canadian mother who knew more American history than most Americans, would cause issues later on down the road?

We were raised in different cultures. His family was run by a patriarchal dictator and mine was run by a liberal mother and a father who wasn't all that involved in the day to day living. He is like he was raised in 50's America and I was raised in 70's America.

My family's first loyalty was to America~Land of the Free and the Brave. McHub's loyalty lay in a Dutch/Indonesian/we're in America to have a better life financially.
These are ideologies that don't quite mix and take time to discern.

Many of the cultural issues showed up when we began having children. Small little issues and cracks that were almost invisible. The fact McHub thought his birth family came before the family we created. (That was the first time he broke my heart).

Now in my mid-40's I am not sure if things can be fixed, patched, redone, unsaid. It spreads over 22 years and much of this is unremembered by McHub, or buried in his brain as far as he could stuff it.

This has been the subject of many of my visits to my shrink, who's unmarried and has no children so his opinion is not as valid as it could be.

Whenever I actually take time to take care of me~the fractured soul who's heart has been ripped out, torn to pieces and mended slowly into a patchwork, piece by ragged piece. I am called selfish. Or it's implied I'm lazy or slovenly. I am less anal and dust doesn't bother me and frankly, why unpack boxes when I haven't missed the contents in 3 months?

The comment made to me when I was describing how full my schedule will be next fall was, "I hope you are still committed. I mean, you won't be able to sleep in or not wake up....." Yeah. No, I'm taking math 97 for the third time because I give up too easy.

Have any of you been through this? Any thoughts? The reason I would stay through nursing school is because I need the shelter and the money. Plus to persevere is now a major part of who I am. I'd really appreciate any input. Thanks.

Snorting, Sniffling, Sneezing With A Side of Sad



My nose, ears, sinuses and anywhere else mucus can go is stuffed full of rubber glue otherwise known snot. It's delightful. Simply delightful. Despite massive infusions of benadryl and nasal spray, I suspect a nasty wee person has cursed me to suffer. It's going to be quite the battle to the death, either mine or the wee nasty mucus demon.

Yesterday I dealt with a small wave of grief. Mother's day hit me a little late. I have also been doing a small bit of writing on my Brennan blog(see sidebar).

What got me going was the comment my husband said to me: You're not my mother.

That was his excuse for no card, no gift, no out for dinner. OK my friends, did I overreact or did my spouse just marginalize my 20 years as a mother?

If I was his mother I would have slapped him for the tone of voice he took. I did, however, give birth to three of his children. Held one while he died in my arms. Miscarried two of his children.

I also was a SAHM until the oldest was 17. McDumbass seems to think any appreciation on his part is over. I was stunned. I was stunned by the realization that the person I'm married to doesn't respect me in the least.

Part of me wants to leave. For good. The rational part of me knows I need to finish nursing school first.

I never realized I would have to be a Stepford wife to be respected. I understand my husband had a terrible role model but I deserve more.

Opinions?

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

No One Even Noticed



I was MIA for 24 hours and no one noticed. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, I guess the world would not end if I ever decided to jump off.

Our router went belly up and we had no internet or phone for approx. 24 hours. Nice to know ya'll can take care of things by yourselves(not that I had any doubts.)

Consequently my life's been somewhat dull.

I hope all of you had a more interesting Tuesday that I did. :)