Fun, Thrilling, Exciting Thoughts From 3 Years Ago

The Pros/Cons of Raising Teenagers

The positive list is first. The negative/educational list is later and is my post from April 2, 2007

Yes. Believe it or not, there are several advantages to parenting teens. Let's see if I can pull my brain together enough to get a few down here.

1. Teens are addicted to computers. If you own several computers the teens will leave you alone until the cows come home. That means they forget about food and phone calls and television. You can watch what you like, eat whatever you want and even talk on the phone without being bothered.

2. Teens sleep in, every day. This means you can sleep in as well, assuming you don't have a job to go to or a chem class... The house is very quiet when the teens are sleeping, nice and silent.

3. Teens will always eat pizza. If you forget to make dinner, pizza is only a phone call away.

4. Teens leave their dirty clothes on the floor. If you have a dirty carpet~NO ONE will ever know. They cannot see the carpet through the clothes.

5. Teens like to stay up late. You will never feel lonely again at 2am. Your teen will be awake with you.

6. Teens love to eat late at night. Here's your excuse for a midnight snack. "Oh hi honey, I was just making the kids some food." (He/she'll never know you planned on eating as well.)

7. Teens are messy everywhere~this means you can blame them even if you made the mess. This is very handy if you have a spouse who's anal-retentive.

8. Teens NEVER fill the gas tank. Something else you can blame on them. "Sweetie, I just filled it. Fido must have used the car and all the fuel I put in it."

9. Teens forget to turn off lights. You'll never come home to a dark house while you have teens.

10. Teens eat lots. When they are old enough to drive, they are old enough to do the grocery shopping for you. This is very advantageous for those of us who detest grocery shopping.

For all of you who have younger children or no children, let's talk about teens. Don't be scared...well, really smart parents are scared. Teenagers are frickin' scary!Janice's not-so-well-known facts about teenagers~(first published in Twist & Skwer in 7/1/07) (Twist&Skewer no longer exists)

1. Teens are full of drama and angst and over-reaction. Full of it. When R was 13/14 all I had to do is glance his way to elicit this angry response: "What? WHAT? Why are looking at me thatway?" Dang boy I was flipping my hair off my face. I did not even mean to look his way. YIKES. The really fun days were when he got home from junior high, slammed the front door shut and stomped right on past me. The best way to react: IGNORE their presence until they seem calmer.

2. Just when you you get a grip on how to handle new and exciting behaviors, they change. Get to used to it. At 18 K still does this. Life with a teen is rarely if ever predictable.

3. Be prepared to have your teen ignore you and if anyone they know is close by they will pretend that have never seen you before. DO NOT embarrass your child by saying Hello to anyone. Pretend to be invisible!(I, personally, love messing with my teens' minds so I would always introduce myself to anyone that was even close by.)

4. (AHEM)If male teens spend extra time in the bathroom do not knock on the door and scream, "What is taking you so long in there??". Trust me on this one.

5. Teens love to think they are independent. They will want you to drive them to and fro, here and there, up and downtown and everywhere but they will want you to let them go out of the car without a kiss goodbye, without you sticking your head out the window and screaming: "Hey my honeybabysugar! I love you!!!" This will cause your teen to turn beet red and flee from sight rapidly, maybe never to return. (They always come home~they know where the money and food are.)

6. Teens sleep ALOT! Particularly boys between the ages 13-17. My R took naps last summer because he was so tired from growing. They will grow! One day you need to look down to meet their eyes. The next day they are looking down at you. It's disconcerting.

7. Teens eat 24 hours, 7 days a week. Not kidding! Get ready to serve up seconds and thirds and fourths. Also try to have snacks on hand at all times. Teens are hungry at 12 noon and 12 midnight. Just stock up! My food bill is 4 times what it was when the boys were younger.

8. Teens lie. If they get caught red-handed they will deny, deny, deny. Dr. Phil says, "How do you know if your teens are lying to you? Their lips are moving."

I find this to be true in older teens the most.

9. BIG WARNING HERE: Expect your teen to go from acting like a 14yo to a 2yo in 30 seconds or less. No warnings. Temper tantrums, inability to make decisions, crying for no reason, slamming doors and stomping their feet.I think that is enough for now. You are most likely thinking it might be a good idea to sell your 10yos on the black market.....don't even dream about it. Teens always get returned to owner.

Boston Med~Nurses

I was watching the ABC documentary style show Boston Med tonight.  A bunch of male nurse from one of the hospitals went away to Florida every year to have a guys weekend kinda thing

They're all sitting at a table in a quiet bar talking about their jobs.  They were discussing doctors and new residents and how they treated nurses.  One of the guy said, "If I hear "you're only a nurse" from one of them I'm gonna kick their ass!"

I understand the sentiment.  But I think he was thinking like a guy.  Female nurses can stand up to doctors as well but most would never thinking of taking it to a physical level, except maybe Head Nurse who seems to kick some verbal ass and is taking names.  She's been a nurse for quite a long time and I respect her stories and her refusal to let not-so-smart docs mess with her.

Different departments in a hospital setting seem to have differing relationships between the nurses and doctors.

I could be wrong, I just observed these things during my 9 months of clinical.

All the male nurse completely agreed with the first nurse and then they went into saying how the unit/floor was their house and newbie docs should respect that.  I liked that.  I would have never thought to use this particular metaphor.

I just thought it was interesting.  There were 3 males in my nursing class and I ran into maybe 3 during my clinical so I enjoyed watching the interaction and how they were all quite different but had the nursing bond.  Wonder if that has anything to do with a shared dark humor that medical professionals commonly have.

It does not matter to me whether a nurse is male or female.  I did notice the guys in our class stayed away from any drama or backstabbing behavior.  I'm down with them on that one.

Let's see what brand spanking new Nurse Janice thinks after working a few weeks or months.

Any nurses out there have their impressions or experiences with male nurses or are males nurses?

Learning About Caring

An 81yo man.

Fragile. Ex-marine though hard to imagine meeting him now. Tattoos on his arms claiming his pride in having served his country.

Monday evening when I first met him to see if he'd allow this student nurse to take care of him for a few days, he was alert, sitting upright, eyes were bright, and he had a great sense of humor considering his state of health.

He was a man frustrated. Admitted for one thing, ended up with several serious issues unexpectedly. He wanted to go home. Said the hospital was killing him.

Tuesday morning he was still alert. Greeted me with a big smile though I could see pain in his eyes. Pale blue eyes that were so tired, so weary. Swallowed his meds well. He was still social even though I could see what an effort that was.

He told me about wanting to see the movie Valkyrie. He was so happy to learn I was a history geek. We discussed the movie that is out now telling of escaped Jews setting up in the forest a camp where they protected other refugees from Hitler's army. These Jews set up this camp and used it as a base to fight the Nazis and lead a small but effective resistance movement.

I was slightly sad to learn he had been up most of the night and was sleeping this morning. No bright smile today.

The change could be felt. He was trying to give up.

Blood pressure was very low. His eyes would not stay open. For his chest x-ray he could hold his head up only with immense effort.

He had not had any visitors.

His lungs were filling with fluid.

I was sad to say good bye as I would not be back in the hospital until next week and then on a different unit.

As I delicately brushed his sparse hair back he opened his eyes.

I asked if I could add him to my prayers. He looked at me gratefully and answered, "Please do. I appreciate that very much."

I thanked him for allowing me the privilege of caring for him. Allowing a student who knows very little to do his care.

I waved good bye from the doorway. His eyes drifted closed. I hugged him in my heart and knew our short time together would remain with me for a very long time.

Update: I found out later he was discharged back to his nursing home a week later!!!

How A Nice Christian Girl Ended Up On Death Row

This is a repost from sillier times.

Mama told me there'd be days like this. I guess that is why she bequethed me her favorite shovel and her commemorative Lizzie Borden Ax. Mama was such a mentor to me.

She tole me that men is skunkez. Smelly, annoying, and in your face when you least want 'em around.

I also think they are like porkypines. They fling sharp needles for no reason. Then they nivver remember to pick those arrows up off the floor. Kinda like when they change their underwear once a month. Or when the ferget to shave there fuzzy ass backs. No wimmin wants a man thatz fuzzy as a possum.

What man made the rules? Wimmins supposed to clean, cook, birth babies, wash dirty undies in the creek all at the same time. Now that is jest stoopid. I can clean, cook some raccoon and birth a baby all at the same time, but the warshing needs to be done later.

Mens also like to take their shotguns guns down and shoot at Budwhizzer beer cans after they slurp down the beer. I tells 'em and I tells 'em peoples be trying to sleep(me) they didn listen tho.

That was it. My head 'bout popped off and I git out the ax and shovel.

Now my veggie garden is grwin' real good

Trimming Bushes

I knew that title would get some attention. Snerk.

Minds out of the gutter peeps!

I was so annoyed at my 21yo yesterday evening, that I actually went outside and did some yard work. If you've been reading you KNOW I never do anything resembling work if I can help it.
I was peeved.

I went to town with the pruning shears on the ugly rhododendron by the front door. What a sneaky bush it is! Little vines and shoots hidden below the main foliage. I killed them. Killed em all. Mwahahahaha.

I also trimmed the maple tree/vine. It's both. A tree part that goes almost to the roof and a vine like part near ground level. More sneaky shoots from existing branched and out of the ground. Snip, snip, SNIP!!! I love maples. They do get rather out of control unless one stays on top of the audacious sprouts. Pupples can see outside once again.

Spouse was irked because I left a huge pile of dead foliage on/in the front yard. I could actually see his thoughts, "Now she'll never clean it up. I'll HAVE to do it because I'm always the one doing everything." Wah.Wah Wah. I will clean it up today but not because spouse is a dork. Because now the spiders are gone and my immune system has calmed down on the allergy situation. He's such a butthead sometimes.

I've been a good housewife the past week. I've kept up on the dishes, cleaned up dog messes(from his chewing up whatever he can find or is given), done laundry, cleared up some of my stuff from the pile I keep on the table in the family room. Aren't ya proud of me? Yeah, me too. What I won't do to keep from getting the 'I'm a martyr speech'. In his mind I'm sure he has a list of grievances specifically for me but frankly my dear, I don't care.

What kind of yard work do you do when you want to smack your kid(spouse) upside the head?

CPWJNL

Crazy paranoid wack job neighbor lady is screaming at her husband in the middle of the neighborhood. And not because they're far away from physically from one another. Nope.

Cuz she be CWAZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!(in my best Bugs Bunny voice)

She is weeding the center island of our pseudo cul-de-sac. Hey I'm down with that. It's a nice thing to do for most people.

CPWJNL isn't the kind of person to do something for nothing.

She will use this to bludgeon some neighbor she dislikes(which I'm pretty darn sure includes us all). In a whiny, nagging, superior voice, someone will hear this, "I made sure our open area looks so nice. No one else around cares how it looks!!"

This is the woman who screaming profanities at my then 17yo son because his car was too loud for her liking. Yeah his car is loud. Swearing at someone's teenager at 8pm is not acceptable behavior IMHO!

My spouse(who never ever yells at anyone but the folks in our house) went over to speak to her.

She went postal, ballistic, explosive at my spouse.

NOT GOOD.

He came home and was telling me all about that and my thoughts were typical paranoid personality disorder. I'm not a shrink but hey she fits all of the DSM IV criteria.

Today she was screeching at her poor(yet enabling) husband so all could hear.

I can get extremely angry but I have never yelled at my spouse in public. Not even in a public place where we were the only people. It's rude, humiliating, and just plain wrong.

Man, I can still hear her giving him orders.

What is the matter with people lately?

A Defamation Of Character

A guest blogger on Dooce has written a post about how she and her friend Anne feel about women named "Janice".

It makes women named Janice sound like the most annoying, aggravating, pushy, nosy, unpleasant person you've ever met.

Thanks.

Thanks a ton.

Like I'm not already hard enough on myself.

I'm not in my 50's though ALL Janice's are.

I know many Janice who are in their 30's and 40's and in their 50's. It was a fairly popular name back then. Though not half as popular as Jennifer was/is.

I know women of all colors named Janice. It was/is a popular name in the African American community as well as the white world I came from.

I know all Janices on television are either killed off rapidly or are unattractive physically and are never a main character.

I can be a know it all but I've gotten better as I've aged. I can be perceived as a know it all because I enjoy learning and reading and I have a store of useless knowledge except for contestants on Jeopardy stored in my brain.
Sorry, God gave me a fairly awesome memory and I can't help remember stupid little facts no one else cares about.

The Janice that is described has no real redeeming qualities but I feel I have a few:

my incredible sense of silliness

the fact I am really a Russian spy

my passion for my family and friends and now, my patients. (Think Mama Bear but please never ever connect me to Sarah Palin!!!)

my loyalty

my ever thirsty quest for new knowledge about most anything

my chameleon like abilities to change my appearance at will

My ability as a 'baby whisperer'

my invisibility cape

my perseverance

my ability to get off my knees and attempt to stand over and over and over, there is no true failure in my life

My tongue-in-cheek response to the way some uber-bloggers think about women with the name Janice.

Like any of us get a choice in our names. It was my mother's idea and it's better than being named Idaho or Milwaukee(inside joke)!!!

Trust, Complete and Total Trust

I've been struggling with my faith lately.

A little background: 1995 my 5 month old began having intractable seizures out of nowhere. He was our third child, our most planned child. My spouse was unemployed at this time but that was a true blessing. Brennie was in Children's off and on for 7 weeks until they thought they had a clue. He had a degenerative mitochondrial metabolic syndrome. Caused his sweet brain to shrink and become spongy, caused him to go backwards developmentally. I watched him die day by day but I appreciated each day I still had with him. I'd rock and sing to him for 4 hours at a time. He'd sleep on my chest because he lost his swallow reflex and needed to be upright. The early icy morning he died in my arms I felt surrounded by peace. I knew Brennan was in a better place where he was whole again.

I used to go into the shower at Children's and SCREAM at God for hours. Sometimes I screamed wordlessly my pain was so deep.

Funny thing though~many good events came out of my nightmare. Between my blue cross and the state insurance pool we paid nothing of the over $300,000 medical bill. I trusted God would take care of us. Even though we had very little income, I just knew He'd come through when he was needed. He did. He covered our needs by rallying a group of neighbors who fed us and took the older boys on outings. It was Christmas time and my boys received more presents than they would ever see again. I truly believe He brought me through those times.

When I went back to school I trusted God would see me through. I had financial aid from the state of Washington and Federal grants. We only paid for my year of nursing school. He saw me though days I was ready to give up and blow the nursing director away with an RPG. The explosion would have been amazing.

In my recent series of events I forgot my trust. I drifted away. I began to question my basic beliefs . I decided to return to church services. The church I go to had changed. No more droning hymn and sermons that put me to sleep. It was more casual. The message is/was the same, I just needed to be reminded.

I will never be the type of person to blindly trust w/o research or a true change in my thinking.

Last week I decided to give my worry over R joining the Army to the Lord. I also gave him my marriage, maybe he could work a miracle there. The biggest thing I gave my fear of never finding employment.

I am less stressed and I see a wee light at the very end of a long dark tunnel.........

Snowy I know you don't have the same beliefs. That's cool. My set of beliefs are needed in this world of uncertainty, I need a rope swing to get me over the ditch dry.

This will be an ever-changing faith but in the end for me it is God-the father, God-the son, and God-the Holy Spirit.


It's been a better week in small but significant ways.

Not Just Bald but OLD!

I awoke this morning very sore. My knees and back hurt the most.

I tried to think of what I did yesterday that would stress these areas........then it hit me! I had slowed down on the amount of flaxseed oil caplets I was taking. DER! Flaxseed oil along with fish oil, borage oil, oil of evening primrose, and krill oil are mild anti-inflammatories.

Flaxseed oil works extremely well for me. So well I forget my left knee probably has osteoarthritis. Until I run out or forget to take it.

Even Aleve did not help much today.

Let me state one important thing: Getting old sucks, FEELING OLD sucks more.

I need to out and buy more flaxseed oil. Most days I do not feel my 48 years of age at all. I am blessed with fairly good health. Except that inherited high cholesterol gene and a family history of heart disease.

Every day I cope with the stresses of unemployment, lack of enough money, two almost grown sons, my spouse, job hunting, taking care of the dog, etc. Most days I feel like I have always felt~pretty darn young!!!

I keep seeing ads that say stress kills. Oh my gosh they do not know my life for the past 15 years!! I'd probably keel over if I had no stress.

I do not know anyone who lives stress free.

Isn't it amazing that simple things like flaxseed oil can make such a huge difference?

I Will Be Bald Soon

Spouse decided to lose it at the 19yo and 21yo tonight.

Mr.' I pretend I'm always calm, cool, and collected', screamed at the top of his lungs running off the 19yo. 19yo has been swearing alot recently, picked up from the army types he's hanging around with. Spouse dislikes it but says something about stopping it now and again.

Tonight it was like he lit himself off like a roman candle(with dynamite added to the mix!)

SCREAM!!!! YELL!!!! MAKE STATEMENTS LIKE "THEN GO LIVE ELSEWHERE!!!!!!!!!"
(fabulous. if I had haldol I'd stick it in a cup of tea and make him drink it. this kinds of passive/aggressive blowout is never good and usually does damage to his relationships with the 3 of us that live here with him)

Right now he's downstairs texting the boys on his phone feeling all righteous and just knowing he's right. They're wrong, no matter what the issue is. Such a freakin' waste of time. He'll mellow out by Sunday or so leaving extremely hurt feelings in the wake of his explosion.

He has a point. But the manner in which he expresses it makes it all pointless.

I get caught in the middle.

He wants me to stand with him. Which is ironic as he never stands with me. Never ever. Ask him and he'll deny it but it is a sad truth of my marriage~my spouse will not back me up when I need it the most.

I want my mommy.

I want to be 12 again.

The responsibility tires me so much that I'm emotionally depleted.

If you ever see me bald you'll know the person who caused me to tear all my hair out~~~~