Disorientation

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Had an orientation at the hospital we'll be serving our sentences at, aka nursing student practical training. It was a bit skeery. It was hard to figure out how to get around the building which were built in 1918, 1970, and 2001. There's the old building, the towers(5 story) and another area that I did not hear what it is used for.

Our first clinicals will be in T4 which is a med-surg unit, Gero-psych which is a psych until for gerontology patients with dementia and other legit psych issues. Not an Alzheimer's unit. The progressive care unit which is a step down from intensive care. There's also out patient surgery but my time is 1:30-9:30 so I won't see the OPS unit until I switch to days in winter or spring.

It was intimidating. Nothing more fun that being low man in the totem pole.

Can someone remind me why I want to do this again?

Longest Day

These are the flowers my 17yo used when he asked his gf to Homecoming. Though ya'll might enjoy some roses. :)

My classes started at 8a.m. and went until 11a.m. then a 2 hour break and more classes from 1p.m.-3p.m.. This is my longest class day of the week. Every Monday.

I got the ultimate pleasure of awakening at 6:15a.m. to my stupid clock radio. Some really bizarre country song was on, so waking up was slightly surreal. Not to mention helping me to be cranky and I shoved the button on my clock radio to off. I am not a morning person.

Long day.

Came home to nap. Getting second hep B shot, flu shot, the 2 step tb test tomorrow and don't need to be anywhere else until 4p.m. We have a generic orientation at the hospital we'll be doing our clinicals. Not sure if we'll have some class/lab time after that.

Wednesday is for studying. Pharmacology can be quite difficult and I need to reread this week's assigment.

If you're not asleep yet, I commend you. I'm boring myself. House is on tonight!

Under Pressure

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My phone/handheld computer locked me out last Monday. They sent me a new one. My phone died and my sim card was corrupted. I cannot even begin to explain the irritation this caused me. (Ok, I'll try. I wanted to pull all my hair out and set in on fire...)

Yesterday I went to a t-mobile store and got a new sim card and phone. Free of charge financially, the cost to my sanity priceless.

I had synched my phone to my laptop the night before it died. One might think that resynching my laptop to new phone would restore all ti it's rightful place. WRONG!!!

I have learned some incontrovertible facts:

T-mobile knows shit about their PDAs!!!!
Re downloading programs I had already bought for nursing school is not for the weak.
Technology can really suck!
I completely understand why someone would stomp on their PDA and break it into a zillion pieces!

Sorry for this interruption but Michigan just scored against Wisconsin. BOO-YAH!

Phone numbers do not resynch.
I have wasted way too much nuch time here.
May the demons of hell come up and eat Bill Gates and whoever the CEO of T-mobile is and please let us get it on tape.

Onto a more pleasant(HA!) subject. We got dumped on yesterday bu our dearly beloved Nursing Director and our new instructor the Ph.D. Well over 200 pages need to be read, understood and notated by Monday 8a.m. for Nursing 104. For Nursing 102~Pharmacology chapters one and and two are to be consumed by my brain and 100 terms basically memorized. Nursing 116 theory also have many pages of reading and critical case studies to be perused and set in stone(my brain is pretty damn hard).

Newsflash: Michigan is now ahead of Wisconsin by 1 point. Hail to the victor's valiant. Hail to the conquering heroes. Hail, Hail to Michigan. The leaders and the best. (I just had to sing the fight song."evil grin") I lurve a good comeback.

Not much else to say except hope fully I won't rip my eyes out in frustration before I finish my nursing assignments.

Quick Note

Long day, early start.

Off to watch Grey's and to bed. Up at 6a.m. tomorrow.


See ya'all tomorrow!

HUGGLES!!!!!!

Looking Forward

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I'm anticipating the wonderful 8 hour session of CPR/AED training tomorrow. Oh jeez. You know my problem with this? The nursing director split our class into two groups. My friend Patty is of course, not in my group. In fact the 4 other people who are older than are all in the other group. Now no one will get my references to the 80's. Since most of them were born in the 80's. GAG! They're so young.

Patty and I knew we'd be split up but It still sucks. Who do I whisper comments to now? Who will I share with when I notice certain folks are treated more equal than others. Patty and I both see the favoritism. We don't mind it, we just like to point it out to one another.

It's kinda like having no pals again. Aren't I pathetic? LOL. I'll live and we all know it.

My older son is 20 today. 20 years ago I was trying to recover from an 18 hour labor, 15 hours of puking, 3 hours of pushing, a massive spinal headache and the fact they took my baby to the nursery and I barely got a glimpse. Not my finest birth.

BPB came home for about 10 minutes today. Happy birthday son. Don't mind me, I just gave birth to you in AGONIZING pain. No thanks needed. Nope. I'm cool with it. Seriously I am.

I consider 20 to still be a teenager. The behavior lingers past 19. Some day I'll laugh about this. Cuz I'll tell his wife the story of his birth when she's pregnant with his first child.

Call me an evil genius. Mwahahahahahahahaha!

Tuesday House Fix

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Did you get your dose of House today? I did. But then I lust after the man many hours in my mind...snerk.

Slept in until 9a.m. this morning, finished my AIDS/Hazardous waste training certification this afternoon, and came home and took a nap earlier in the evening. Jeez, you'd think I've been doing something strenuous when I've been sitting in a classroom for 2 days.

I put on my scrubs when I got home to try them out since I won't be using them for several weeks. Dang, these make awesome pajamas! I look like a huge teal whale, but a comfortable huge teal whale. ;)

Has anyone been watching Dancing With The Stars? Warren Sapp is awesome! He's 6 foot ginormous 300 pounds of dancing coolness. It seems like there's more already in shape and coordinated celebs competing. Toni Braxton needs to keep away for the eye shadow tho! Holy moly no one needs 6 pounds of glitter shadow! NO. One.

I hope every one of my 10 readers is well. I'm wondering where my comment friends have gone? sniffle, sniffle. I need comments to boost my insanely low self-esteem.

Ha! My self-esteem is fine today. I applied to get my diploma as I have graduated with my AA-transfer degree. Yeehaw!

I know I'll get through the LPN program and move on to work and get my RN, my BSN and I'm pretty damn sure I'll go for my Masters to be a nurse practitioner as well. It may take me 10 years instead of 5 but I'm pretty sure I am going to be damn good at some aspect of nursing be it pain management, mental health, or public health.

Can ya tell I haven't had any difficult assignments yet? Heehee.

Love ya peeps. I <3 YOU!

It Was Horrible!!!

First day of nursing school: they had us on the rack for hours. We had our schedules changed, met new faculty and sat through a very interesting lecture on AIDS and hazardous waste and infection control measures. It was interesting. Seriously.

My phone/PDA got all screwed up so t-mobile is sending me a new one. Good thing I backed up my info. Ahem. Came home spent 3 hours on phone before we declared the phone dead. Then I relaxed and watched new, never before seen tv. It was one of the worst days of my life. Woe is me.

Class starts at noon today. I just don't know if I can go back to the pain.

HOUSE is on tonight. 8PM.

(If you took me seriously you need an adjustment of your lower more base sense of humor) :P

Please Visit ME at MCMM

It's Monday Night. My post in NOW up at MCMM!!!

I've posted over at Mid-Century Modern Moms.

Please come on by and see how romantic my younger son was on Friday.

I'm Ready!

After trips to the pharmacy, the pet shop for crickets and the grocery store for food, everything is in place.

There is food for breakfast on the go. More food for take lunch to school for 17yo and myself. There is even more food for after school/work snacks~dinner so that everyone can help themselves.

First day schedule~7a.m. leave house to drop off 17yo then onto nursing classes!

7:30a.m.~score parking spot.
8:00~Nursing 116
9:00~Intro to Fundamentals, nursing 104
11:00-1:00~break for those of us who've already taken nutrition.
1:00~5:00~Aids/Biohazard Wastes

5:00~drive home and collapse.

Packpack has notebooks, my new computerized pen that I take notes with while it tapes the lectures. All the paperwork I had to get finished. Other items that have to be checked off. A cooler section for my lunch. One book.

Anxiety level: 2

Stress Level Check

Four days until I start nursing school. I am confident I can handle school. It's the Y chromosomes that need to understand my need for time to study.

I am driving the 17 yo to school each day at 7. This works 3 days a week when I have my main classes. On M, Th, F I will have classes from 8a.m.-3p.m. I can still drop the kid off on my way. I like to reach campus at least 30 minutes before classes start. One of my few anal qualities.

I have been picking up the kid at 2:15p.m. each day. Anyone see My problem here? The only possible day I may be able to pick him up is Tuesdays.

Tuesdays are my no class day. Wednesdays are clinic which doesn't start until 1:30p.m. I want to sleep in these days. I don't want to drive my lazy 17yo who could have had his license for over a year. I plan on being assertive and temper tantrums will not be my responsibility. He's a senior. Find a ride or walk two miles. Lack of sleep will promote a very cranky nursing student and one bitch of a mother.(No empathy here from spouse who wakes up naturally at 5a.m. stupid morning person)

I'm not sure when I'll fit food shopping in but I can't leave it to the spouse who ignores all nutritional information. Fine he can be fat and full of cholesterol. The kid and I need to eat well balanced meals including easy to go yet healthy breakfasts and lunches to go.

Stress level on scale of 1-10 is a 4+ today.

Because I'm a Masochist

I just reread my entire Always in My Heart blog. This is grief blog about Brennan, my youngest who died 12 and a half years ago.

I don't know why I reread it, maybe because his first visit to the ER was 9/15/95. I don't read it because I have forgotten any of the feelings or events. I read it more to see how I wrote about the incidents I chose to write about.

I have only written part of the story. A small part. It's the part I see clearly as if it all occurred yesterday.

I have not written about our 3 other stays in NICU and the peds floor. I have yet to detail how my husband learned our son was going to die. I have not written of our three months at home with hospice, nursing help and extra time with Brennan.

Events are still clear but less traumatic to me. There was some preparation after the first hospitalization. We were told Bren had a seizure disorder and we'd most likely be dealing with a disabled child. That didn't phase us anywhere near finding out he would die did. I knew he would die from the first ER code room visit. People told me I was thinking negatively. Nope. The boulder in my stomach told me. God told me in His way. I just knew.

While I very rarely have nightmares anymore, the PTSD lingers here and there. I am happy for people I know with new babies and I am innerly conflicted because it will never be MY newborn again.

I have moved on in many ways. I don't define myself completely by my children, my angel, my unborn children. Feelings of sadness linger popping into my consciousness now and again. Actually I am defined by my children but not completely defined.

I am now defined by my needs, my grades, my classes, my goals and my MEness. All major events in my previous 46 and half year define me, some more that others.

Slowly, Janice emerges from her cocoon and will soon find her wings. I'm working on me as fast as I can. :)

(Yes I know I make up words. It's just something I do. Get over it.) LOL.

Maybe Medical School Would Be Better...

I managed to diagnose my 17yo with strep throat by myself. I did not need the rapid strep test. I did not need to swab his tonsils and make him cry with pain. I did not poke his glands seven times making him cry out in pain. What? Stupid doctor bitch could see how swollen they were why she need to poke him 7 times. I almost bitch slapped her then and there.

Then I had to ask her for pain meds and she looked at me like I was an addict. She prescribed 10 entire tylenol 3's. My son hasn't eaten in 3 days and she would not have given him any pain meds if I hadn't asked. Don't look at me like that bitch cuz this is my child and I'll take you out!

So she went to Georgetown Medical school. They obviously did not teach her charm or even pleasant personality traits. Don't be dismissing the mother.

When Brennan was at Children's, those doctors' respected my gut feelings and treated me, mostly, as a human being.

Now this suburban pediatrician who is brand new(I have no idea where our usual guy has been. But if he's retiring, shouldn't they let us know?) and treats me like I'm not there.

I can see issues with doctors if they treat me this way when I'm a nurse.

Today all I wanted was some antibiotics for obvious strep and something to kill his pain. Why did she treat me like I don't have a clue? I am really angry and think this is our last trip to that office. The kid needs to move up to an adult doctor anyway but still...

I don't really want to go to med school, too many morons.

My House is Back Tonight!!!!

Fox @ 8pm.
Damn, he's so HAWT!!!!!

Monday Musings

My last week of freedom. The 17 year old has a massive headache and a fever. He texted me to come and make him feel better. I was directly below him. And he had to text me. Kids.

How did we ever survive w/o cell phones? It was much quieter. I did not know every single move my friends made from second to second. I'm sure that warped me somehow. Snicker. Or perhaps the warping is genetic?

Kid's now in bed hopefully to sleep it off and feel better so he can go to school tomorrow. He also starts driver's ed tomorrow. Again. This time Dad is responsible for getting the kid there. Fee for not giving 48 notice of absence~$30! Maybe by the time kid turns 18 he'll have his license. We'll have another $3000 a year in auto insurance. Whoever said children get less expensive as they get older was full of crap.

We still have to set up senior picture taking. My big fashionista son wanted a $110 shirt by Izod from Nordies but I laughed at him. Seriously. I laughed myself silly.

Next stop Macys. He found a Formula One t-shirt that was acceptable and on sale. At the second floor we found the Polo section. Ralph Lauren for those you who've lived in a cave the past 30 years.

I wore LaCoste(Izod) and Polo when I was 17. I was a complete California prepster in 1979-1981. Always wore Top Siders or Bass shoes. Labels were BIG.

I find it funny that my "I wear clothes to my own tune" child is wearing some brands I swore by 29 years ago. The kid lets me be amused as long as I pay the bill.

Since the kid doesn't have a Varsity jacket to wear for his pictures I did order him a Formula One jacket from Merry ol' England. $65 bucks is so much less than the $500 we paid for oldest Varsity jacket. Yeah I'm all about the money this month. Sorry.

Outfits for pictures~finished.

Next high cost event for my senior~Homecoming at end of October. Oh boy, I can't wait!~

Weed Pollen and Lazy Lasts

It's warm and my head is full of snot once again. Why? WEED POLLEN. Nasty ass stuff. It makes me cranky, headachey and lazy. It makes me want to do absolutely nada.

Since I don't start school until 9/22 I've been so frickin' lazy this week, it isn't funny to my spouse at all. Nope, not even worth a smirk.

I haven't taken a shower in 3 days. Too much effort. (No this isn't depression, it's allergies I tell ya!)

How do pounds of snot fit into my teeny tiny sinuses? With lots of pressure and some pollen 2 by 4's.

My forehead feels like it weighs more than the rest of my body........oh that's a disgusting image, isn't it? EEKKK! I think I scared myself.

I have 8 days of lazyness left. Eight days. 11520 minutes. 691,200 seconds. I'll wave bye bye to my freedom and enter the prison, wait! I mean school doors for the next eleven months.

The millions of pollen particles will follow me. Joy. Even my benadryl is being beaten back by pollen.

Hey to my nurse friends! How the heck does one heart the heart with a stethoscope? I've been trying on my spouse with little luck. He's HEARTLESS! I knew it I've known it for 10 years now.

What if I suck at this?

Maybe the weed pollens will carry me off to their lair and roast me for dinner before the 22nd...........yeah, it could happen.

9/11 and Sarah Palin

If you think about what a terrible day, week, month began 9/11/01. Most of us lost our surety that the US was a safe place to live. Many of us are still feeling the grief.

My question: How do you think Sarah Palin would have dealt with this terrorist attack?(assuming McCandyCane is dead)................

Nicknames for Sarah~McRoboMom

Is killing elk a quality we want in the white house? Remember when Cheney shot his buddy in the face?

If people aren't causing global warming, what the hell is?

Why does Sarah believe polar bear and belugas whales shouldn't be protected species? Hint: Kaching!

Would you ride in two airplanes after your water broke? How uncomfortable for her seat mate...........ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Hockey mom? When does she have time to get to games when she barely has time to give birth?

Hockey is also one of the most violent sports out there, my own opinion, but remember my mother was a Canadian and I know the game well.

Where are the main issues: war, health care, economy, outsourcing American jobs, feeding the poor, housing the homeless?

Just thoughts I have today.

My prayers for all those lost and left behind in 9/11/01.

Thoughts From the Void

Watching my 17 year old enjoy buying a Ralph Lauren Polo shirt that matches the exact shirts I wore at 17. LOL. Preppies Live on! He laughs at me when I tell him I wore LaCoste clothes long before I ever thought of having any kids, let alone him! Snerk.

Can't decide if I'm excited or scared about starting nursing school. Had an anxiety dream where I was doing daycare/nursing of toddlers and infants and I let 5 kids bonk themselves in the head. You know when they arch their backs as you are holding them? I know how to avoid that. Except in the dream.

Watching my spouse slurp down a fattening fast food shake the other night almost made me ill. They think I have high cholesterol? I'm amazed spouse has not had something very bad happen yet. I cannot control what he eats as he eats lunches out and if I make a healthy dinner he snacks afterward. I bought no unhealthy food at store last weekend....he took the boys to the store and bought total crap. Stuff I have always refused to buy. Sigh.

Sunshine makes my eyes hurt. So what's the weather here like? Sunny for weeks.

I'm not sure I can live in a country with McCain and Palin as our fearful leaders. Not sure at all.

At Long Last, TRUE LOVE

We'll live happily ever after!!!ROWR!

My Anoles are Dying

My little lizards, Zilla and Lil are dying. They are having trouble shedding the dead skin over their eyes.

Lil is painfully thin.

I talked to a reptile guy at the pet store and he suggested they had a vitamin D deficiency. I had already extra cleaned their cage, put in new substrate, made sure the humidity is high enough to help them shed. I add cal/vitD to their dry food and we've gotten extra small crickets so they'd be easier to eat.

I just tried to force feed Lil. That went over like a lead balloon. I did get her to drink some water.

They had seemed to be getting better until today. Lil had turned from white(anoles are never white) to brown again. Zilla got his brown striping back. We even saw Zilla eat a cricket. Today he tried to eat another one but missed and ate bark instead.

I have no idea what else to do. I like them alot. I know they are not like cats or dogs but that's a reason why I like them.

Each morning I fear I will wake up and Lil will be dead.

My aggressive anole who bit Zilla's tail off 6 months ago, had his own cage. He's doing fine. He doesn't have a name cuz it used to Shorty and that doesn't apply anymore.

Only The Lonely.... ;)

Gosh darn it! My 17yo begins week number 2 of his senior year. 19yo starts his new job!(Heehee) Spouse will be working.

Our girl Janice will have the house ALL BY HERSELF from 7am-2pm. Lala lalala sing a smurfy song. Lala lalala smurf the whole day long.

I got most of the nursing crud done except I need shoes, slacks and some plain t-shirts. Oh and trouser socks cuz crew socks are forbidden. What's the problem with cotton socks? I am a fan of cotton myself.

I have to bring back the xxl scrub pants cuz they be too huge. yeehaw. I'll keep the xl. I have lost 6 lbs, not that anyone notices.

I went grocery shopping today(hissssssssss I hate it) and bought all healthy food. Fruit and veggies, lean cuisines, baked potato chips, whole grain bread. I regret that I can never eat Ben & Jerry's without feeling overwhelming guilt again.

I'll take a walk tomorrow. It was in the high 709's this weekend and it's getting dark by 8pm....What's up with that? In june it stays light until 9:45pm.

I wish everyone of you(all 6) who drop by a fantabulous Monday!!!!!!!!!!

HUGGLES!

Headache break

Due to a nasty one sided behind the eye headache, I'm taking a few days off. Sorry but it hurts to read online. :(

Prepping For Nursing School

Ah, the joys of fulfilling all the material requirements...

See all the pretty and pricey new things I had to purchase to prepare for the first week of school in two weeks. You can see my lab coat, my transfer belt(?), my scrubs, my bandage scissors on the left of the picture above. Can we say $190.00? KA-CHING!

Now in this picture we have my new plaid backpack under my new watch, my MDA/cell phone, the software on my MDA, my new Littmann Classic II stethoscope on my 1800 page Nursing Fundamentals book, my pharmacology book, my HUGE med-surg nursing book, pediatric nursing, and my leadership book. Let's talk about $700.00! Yeouch.

What is not seen is my malpractice insurance, vaccines, blood tests, my physical, the white shoes I still have to buy, slacks(NOT jeans) and plain t-shirts for community info gathering(no clue?) and my own blood, sweat and tears. Cost: incalculable.

Showing my spouse I can succeed: PRICELESS!

Paradise By The Dashboard Lights

I was walking this evening(12 blocks!) when the song, "Paradise by the Dashboard Lights" by Meatloaf~1977, "Bat Out Of Hell" Album, played on my iPod.

It reminded me that long long long ago couples used to go parking. Parking, for those of you who forget or are too young to remember, is driving your car and a member of the opposite sex( Come on people! it was 1978, I don't have to be politically correct) to a remote spot and parking the car, turning off the engine but leaving the radio( YES! the radio) on.

Then there's a bit of small talk, playfulness leading to serious "making out". Making out consists of kissing, and kissing and kissing. Lots of kissing. (Lord, how I miss those days of kissing just to kiss!)

The kissing might lead to touching above the waist. Usually if the couple is fairly well-acquainted. This means the couple did not hook up 20 minutes before at a kegger and don't know each other's last names. Usually they've been dating. Yes good old fashioned dating where the question was to kiss or not to kiss on the first date. Oral sex was NEVER mentioned. Never. Anywhere. Not in my little Midwest world in the 70's. Married couples may have been swinging but teenagers dated.

Sex on the first date was for outdated stoned hippies and NOT the children of the late 1970's. Nope. Girls who did that were the ones we talked about behind our hands and giggled at when they walked by. Heck. I never said we were nice. We were cliquish upper middle class high school students. There was strict social structure.

My first love and I adored the song "Paradise by the Dashboard Lights". We turned it up everytime time we heard it. It is a song that brings back sharp clear memories of him and the insides of his car and other things. Snerk.

Now finally, to the point, my first love told me his mother thought the song was about baseball. There's a section of the song where the Yankees' long time announcer does a play by play of what is happening on the field of play~the car. I believed my bf believed his mom thought that. I, however, knew she could not be even close to that stupid. It's very clear by the background sounds what is going on.

Aren't sons funny about their moms??

Weekend Get Away

Welcome to Ocean Shores, Washington!!!

The mighty fortress

Another view of the fortress
Beaches on coastal Washington are unlike any other.


The water comes up to the wetland area during high tides.
During the day one can drive onto the beach with their cars.

This is a siren for tsunami warnings which they practice once a month.

Smart horsey people bring their horses to rent for exorbitant prices per hour.

Coastal WA does not having swimming, parasailing or any other activities in the water. Surfers have to wear wetsuits, otherwise they would become hypothermic quite quickly.



Sand castles are encouraged by local beach enforcement, as long as one stays out of the water!

There are massive riptide currents and the water is extremely cold. This is almost an analogy for Washington State. Looks gorgeous, warm and friendly yet many folks are icy right below the surface.

Changing Of The Guard

The young begin to replace the old. The story of Life.