It looks like my spouse has a job.
I feel awful, sometimes, because my spouse has had jobs with prestige and money. He's been unemployed 5 times in our marriage and this man has adapted each time and reinvented himself to fit available jobs.
It's been over a year since he was laid off. He was working as a low voltage electrician. His job before that was operations manager at a trucking company. He's been management at two trucking companies. He's been a national sales manager for a novelty company relating to sports novelties. He was a national sales director for a tennis accessory company. Before that a sales coordinator for a Japanese tennis racket company.
We met when he was a teaching tennis pro at a San Diego area resort. I was working front desk as I tried not to flunk out of UCSD.
I had recently gotten out of a five year abusive relationship. I was mentally abused and manipulated. It finally got physical. My brother came and got me one night at 3 a.m. because the moron decided he wanted me out. It was the BEST thing he ever did for me. The ex I mean. I had been trying to pull away for years but could not quite ever get away. He had destroyed what little self esteem I had. He helped me screw up at the university because I was so emotionally traumatized all the time. I am so glad he tossed me out. We had actually broken up at that point but he was following me around as I tried to find a place to go. He "caught" me with another guy and went ballistic. Thanks asshole. Thanks for setting me free.
I was not looking for a permanent relationship. I was looking to have fun. I dated maybe 8 guys between March and the end of June that year. Mostly simple dates. The guy who thought I owed him sex for dinner was unamused when I laughed in his face. DUDE~I'm not a slut. See ya.
Spouse would come check out financially with me every day he worked. He was friendly and nice. I fell for his legs first. Those teensy white tennis shorts almost killed me. I would watch him walk away every chance I got.
I began to flirt(which was second nature to me at 24). Nothing serious just fun flirting. He was tan. Exotic face as he's one quarter Indonesian, awesome high cheekbones, something I completely lacked.
The guy I had been seeing most often wanted to go sleep around. I said fine, but I'm not a harem girl.
Finally, spouse asked me to go to the movies. Spur of the moment thing. We doubled with a friend of his.
He held my hand at the movies........I had tingles from that. WOW.
Within 2 weeks we were living together. Intoxicating in lust/infatuation. Harem guy decided he wanted me back. I said too late sucker! Met the man I'm gonna marry. I did not tell harem boy about the marry thing, I did, however, tell my mom.
UCSD asked me to take an academic break to think over my options. Spouse has gotten job in LA and was moving north. He asked me to go. I jumped in his arms without a second thought. Damn, we were so happy.
We have our issues now. However, he has stuck around through miscarriages, 7 moves, 3 childbirths, one child's death, parental deaths, financial disaster, my overwhelming grief, teenagers, my reinvention of myself...
He has a strong sense of responsibility. A loyalty to some extent.
I wish he could find a job where he'd be happy, fulfilled. I feel bad he's going to work at a warehouse store.
This was not how it was supposed to be.
