My Wierd Life

I am sitting here with a 45 pound pit bull on my left side, hogging the warm air from my laptop fan and he sleeps, barely fitting on the width of the couch. He wakes up once in a while and I rub his pink belly. He's a blue nose/pink nose pit bull so his nose is black with a bit of pink above it and his belly is tinted pink.

My spouse is in bed, asleep by 9p.m. He'll be awake at 5a.m. because I was too dumb to notice his biorhythms while we were dating. I'm opposite in the sleep/wake cycle of life.

I filled out several job applications this weekend. I'm 47 and have NO experience looking for jobs or being interviewed. My many hours in PTA, and little league board and soccer mom and classroom volunteer extraordinaire did little to prepare me socially for the working world.

As most of you know I struggled greatly in the past year when it came to keeping my mouth shut, learning from listening instead of interaction, to NOT ask questions that made me seem too intelligent or as my director saw it, a little miss know it all.

If I stay quiet people think I'm judging or stuck up, if I open my mouth they know I'm an idiot cuz I can't stop myself from saying too much or saying something in a manner many people misunderstand up here in the Northwest. My East Coast/Midwest friends get sarcasm, no one here really does. After 20 years here I understand that. I have toned it down 98%.

I think I need manners lessons. Seriously. Or deportment. Because I cannot change my entire personality, I know cuz I have tried. I know I don't fit in here very well but it's where I am. Anyone have expertise in giving one a lobotomy????