Raindrops

I've heard water is the most destructive force of nature.

After all, the Grand Canyon was carved by the Colorado River.

The tsunami of 2006 killed millions.

Even a small drip, drip, drip can wear away mountains of stone.

I feel worn away by the drips of my soul being sucked away by the greedy corporation I work for, the drama queens I supervise, the plodding reality of paperwork while I'm the interim DNS, the attempt I'm making to continue to keep my standards of care high, the chronic pain pill seekers, the liars who cry and tell me they were up all night in tears from their pain (anyone on 60 mg of oxycontin and 5mg oxycodone PRN every six hours with no discernible increase in blood pressure, respiration rate, pulse, and can still eat just doesn't seem to be in excruciating pain to me), the ones who try to get me to okay it so they can take their controlled substances up to their rooms where no one can see them take those pills.........yeah, over my dead body as I am responsible for said controlled substances.

The previous DNS assessed may of my patients to be able to self med.  Uh-huh.  Like the former meth addict who had a stroke at 42 years old.  I have rescinded that order.  She is perfectly capable of coming down for her 30mg of temazepam at 2000.

I will not even discuss the mega drug seeking 53 year old male the previous DNS had a personal relationship with.

I have set up some arbitrary guidelines.

No, you cannot get your scheduled morphine at the same time as your PRN oxy.  Sorry Charlie, but breakthrough pain does not happen if you have yet to take the scheduled pain meds.  Sue me.

No more taking pills in an envelope to your room.

No I will not keep calling your PCP to increase your narcotics.  You need an appointment.  That is my final answer.

When I discovered I'm only getting paid for 10 hour shifts when I've been working 12's doesn't help my loyalty.  No more 12's for me.

I have a 3 day weekend.  I'm still on call by phone.  I am thrilled I can't hear "You need to go talk to the nurse." or "Janice line 1" and 3 seconds later "Janice line 2".